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Going
Thanksgiving Low At Maple Lane
NGAWire® 28Nov08
Today I received a phone call from Kurt Goetzke. He and Steve Lawler had just finished playing
golf at Maple Lane.
"One guy shot 75 and the other shot 67" stated Goetzke.
"Did he really?" I asked.
I heard Lawler laughing in the background.
The boys were off to celebrate with a couple of beers.
Nice round Kurt!
ADDED
29Nov08 7:42am – Blind squirrel nut thing...nice taking Steve's money... although, I
believe he is still slightly up on me for his career... got some work to do...
it's a start...
ADDED
29Nov08 9:39am – Thanks Coree... Just one of those days... 24 putts... 10 greens... It
was only like 5,800 yards and we rolled it... BUT... you still have to get the
stupid little white ball in the hole... it sure helped holing my 2nd shot on
the 7th hole... really got things going... then I birdied 2 of the last 3...
just couldn't do any wrong... probably never happen again, but it's still my
lowest score in relation to par (4 under) and total score (67) ever... I had an
8 footer for par on the last hole to do it... really didn't want to end on a
bogey and I somehow coaxed it in... Garbage Time Goetzke strikes again...
ADDED
29Nov08 11:09am – And I’ll just call it “Garbage Time”… like when Kurnczie says
“provisional” before ever tee ball and stripes ’em down the middle…
ADDED
29Nov08 12:21pm – I am back if it's December or January and it's "fun"
golf...
ADDED
1Dec08 9:22am – I can add this: Steve's arm
was not in tip top shape... especially when he hit the driver... the pain at
impact had him trying to tweak the swing all day long... but generally, he
couldn't get it worked out and a bunch of unLawler-like drives (to the
right)... he got rolled, but he was handicapped to an extent... I am proud to
say that, at least this one time though, it may not have mattered if he was
100%...
Late
Night Volleyball
NGAWire® 24Nov08
Late last night I stumbled onto a NCAA women’s volleyball game while
flipping through the channels. The Cal
Golden Bears were playing USC. As much
as I would have like to stop watching and go back to sleep, I could not. I was transfixed watching Kat Reilly and
Morgan Beck beat the stuffing out of Trojans.
Season
Over, Creamer Beats Rawson To Pulp
NGAWire® 24Nov08
The 2008 LPGA season has come to a close. How did the NGA’s two leading ladies, Paula
Creamer and Anna Rawson, fare this season?
In the end, it really wasn’t a fair battle. Creamer, a veteran in her fourth year on
tour, dominated the rookie Rawson in every statistical category.
|
Player |
Paula Creamer |
Anna Rawson |
|
Money |
$1,823,992 (2) |
$62,798 (127) |
|
Tournaments |
26 |
13 |
|
Cuts Made |
26 |
5 |
|
Top 10 Finishes |
15 of 26: 0.577 (2) |
1 of 13: 0.077 (60T) |
|
Best Finish |
1 (4 Wins) |
10 (0 Wins) |
|
Rounds |
99 |
35 |
|
Rounds under Par |
66 of 99: 0.667 (2T) |
14 of 35: 0.400 (50T) |
|
Rounds in 60s |
36 of 99: 0.364 (3) |
7 of 35: 0.200 (44T) |
|
Greens |
1116 of 1584: 0.705 (2) |
342 of 504: 0.679 (13) |
|
Fairways |
895 of 1216: 0.736 (21T) |
245 of 386: 0.635 (124) |
|
Birdies |
364 (3) |
93 (146T) |
|
Eagles |
3 (56T) |
2 (75T) |
|
Scoring |
70.56 (3) |
73.54 (121) |
|
Putting |
28.38 (33T) |
30.79 (149T) |
|
GIR Putting Average |
1.77 (3) |
1.84 (104T) |
|
Sand Saves |
24 of 51 (22) |
7 of 24 (135T) |
|
Driving Distance |
246.3 (79T) |
249.9 (56) |
|
Low 9 hole score |
27 |
31 |
|
Low 18 hole score |
60 |
66 |
|
Low 36 hole score |
125 |
140 |
|
Low 54 hole score |
195 |
214 |
|
Low 72 hole score |
268 |
280 |
Creamer finished the year with 4 wins and a second place finish on the
money list. Rawson missed more than half
of her cuts and is headed back to LPGA Q-school. Yippee!
Just
Another Kurncz Day
NGAWire® 21Nov08
HGA.5 Guest Writer Kurt Goetzke
The other night, Kurncz and I were holding one of our long conversations
about nothing… I was at my new house and he was just getting to his. He was yakking about the “stomage” and such,
when all of a sudden, he let out an exclamation of surprise and maybe even a
little terror… concerned for his well being, I asked what the Hell was going
on… he said that something was flying around in crazy circles in his living
room… it appeared to be a BAT… a very large and mean BAT… while talking to me
(Andy is a great multi-tasker), he grabbed the nearest weapon (a dust pan or
some sort) and began to flail… eventually, I heard, “OHHHHHHH!!! I think I got him!!!” Suddenly, though, the stunned, and now PISSED
off beast, disappeared into the kitchen and could not be seen… Kurnczie began
to search for him, but to no avail… Finally, he said there was one more place
he could look… as he climbed up on the ladder to look on top of the cabinets,
he cautiously said to me, “stay on the line with me buddy, and don’t be
surprised if I scream like a little girl”… after a moment passed, then, “I
FOUND HIM”!!! It was an unbelievable
sight. No justice can serve the
description (a rat crossed with a cat with wings)… the proof is in the picture.
Aftermath: Andy had to decide
what to do… He carefully determined the little trickster was playing possum (“I
am not sure if he still breathing”)… Does he put the thing out of its misery,
or does he do the humanitarian thing? Of
course, Andy did what all red-blooded American Men would do… he called his
Father-in-Law for guidance… somehow, he got the BAT under a paint can,
transported it outside and released it into the night… what a guy… I think he
was having flashbacks of Carmel the Cat and wanted to redeem himself… although
I don’t believe the wife and kids would have been sad if that Bat never saw
another Belfry…
Day In
His Life
NGAWire® 20Nov08
Today for lunch Andy decided to enjoy
the roach coach know as El Toro Tacos while working in Detroit. He normally plays it safe by ordering Asada
tacos (yes, he has eaten from here before), but has always wondered about the
delicacies known as Cabeza, Lengua and Buche.
Andy no longer has to wonder about two of them.
First he tried the Beef Head. “Cabeza tastes just a good as regular steak”
stated Andy. “I could eat that again and
again!”
Next came the enticing Pig
‘Stomage’. “Buche is not very good. I chewed and chewed, but could never bite
through the rubbery meat.”
Andy had one more taste of his Buche,
but could not stomach any more stomage. “I am sure with the right amount of
sauce/salsa I could have finished the stomage” stated Andy.
Bailout
For One, Bailout For All
NGAWire® 17Nov08
Following suit of the hordes of shamefaced companies requesting
governmental bailout assistance, the NGA is heading to Washington DC to request
a portion of the bailout pot from Congress.
Though the NGA’s funding request is not based on mismanagement of
anything (unlike banks, mortgage companies and the US automakers), a minimal
interest (maximum of 0.5%) governmental loan of $750,000 will be petitioned.
This money will be used to help lower tournament entry fees, assist in
purchasing beer and snacks, allow for larger skins, pins and prize money
payouts and provide decent contestant clothing and gear. It will also be used to pay for “one honey of
a
Good luck NGA!
Miller’s
Burger
NGAWire® 13Nov08
Kurt Goetzke (KG): Anyone got a hankerin' for a MILLER'S BURGER??
Jeff Longeway (JL): I haven't been there in awhile. Got to love the thick cut onion!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
KG: They (Detroit Free Press) just came out with the Best Burgers in
Metro Detroit list...Now I am craving MILLER'S!!!
JL: Its only 10 minutes from me.
Dan McKay (DM): Good call Lennie.
Pick some up and then head northeast. Kurt and I will be waiting.
KG: That would be AWESOME!!!
JL: Sorry Kurt, I went to Bailey's for a steak and cheese. Maybe next
week?
Matt Maser (MM): That's a thing of beauty! I officially added to my list
of MUST DO when we return next July.
2009
CJI Planned For Early March
NGAWire® 31Oct08
For those interested, below is information regarding the 2009 CJI in
Myrtle Beach:
Dates – 35/09 (Thur)* to 3/8/09 (Sun)
Accommodations – 3 nights at the Dayton House (west building)
Golf – Wild Wing Avocet** (Fri), Witch (Sat), Prestwick*** (Sun)
* Thursday 3/5/09 is a travel day. Golf will be played only by the early
arriving players and is not included in the total cost.
** We received free 9-hole coupons from the manager at Wild Wing Avocet
last year. If we choose to play extra golf, we may the new nine.
*** We received rain checks for golf from Prestwick last year.
Total cost for room and golf is $262.50 ($218.50 plus $44 in
surcharges). I would like to finalize everything with Dayton House by the end
of the year.
If you are interested in attending the 2009 CJI, please contact the NGA.
Tuesday
with Clifton
NGAWire® 7Oct08
NGA Staff Writer, Ronald Harrison Clifton, Jr.
I awoke today after a long night of MNF up ‘til midnight. I feel fortunate to have weathered the Reggie
Bush onslaught by Lawler. Thanks to FF
Churncz for not counting punt return yards.
And a bigger thanks to Reggie Bush for tripping on his own foot for his
potential 3rd punt return td it saved my victory.
As I am driving to the golf course I am still considering trading Dallas
Clark to PJP for MJD, as well as possibly Plax Burress for S. Slaton.
This chilly October morning I arrived at Eastern Hills at 9 am 49* in my
car. I arrived and beat the seniors to
#1 tee. Piped my new Callaway Driver,
never hit it before today, long and straight into the cool morning air. Just like in a USGA commercial a single walks
up and I ask him to play. I meet Andreas
a member of Lake Doster my previous home course and we are off #1 tee.
I learned Lake Doster is in excellent condition this year!
I played solid all the way around the front 4 fw, 3 gr, 14 putts nice
little 40. Some nice par saving putts, a
few key birdie putts just missed. I am
putting as good as say Matt Maser or Dan McKay.
We make the turn and Andreas decides to push on with me any pays for his
2nd 9. He is an Ohio State grad likely a
more frequent golfer than I and also a touch lower handicap. He is easy to play
with like Chris Lemmon and Coree Raden.
I proceed to play the back 9 much like the front keeping it in play 5
fw, 5 gr, 16 putts. Again a few key par
putts made, a few birdie putts just missed.
I step up to 17 realizing I am +2 on the back! So 40 on front + 4 and +2 is +6 with 2 holes
left. Predictably I make double on 17
not really a bad double just drive in rough approach short, pitch short, chip
long (tried to hole it) 2 putt. Nearly made a nice bogey saving putt. I am
grinding like crazy!
18 is playing downwind I pipe a long high majestic fade to the 270 mark
(par 5) smoke a high cutting 3 wood to 40 yds just short. I haven't played this shot well today all I
am thinking is I am putting well get it on the green. I hit a pw a little heavy leave 30+ feet up
hill birdie putt for the elusive 79. I
read it, step up, it is up hill just misses one ball outside left, good effort,
tap in par for 80.
Having never broken 80 I was much more calm and relaxed took it one shot
at a time. I just needed one more putt to fall somewhere played good enough for
79. After the poor play I exhibited at
Clifton ADDITIONAL NOTE – I was wearing my green Oberon hat and yellow
Obama
Declared A Bobo
NGAWire® 26Sep08
The NGA has declared Barack Obama a huge bobo. Also included in the bobo race are Joe Biden
and John McCain. God save the USA.
Nagy
Wins 2008
NGAWire® 22Sep08
Karl Nagy cruised to his second
“I played very well the first two rounds” stated Nagy. “However, the final outcome was as much of a
surprise to me as everyone else.”
This victory moves Nagy into a tie with Coree Raden atop the
|
player |
2006 |
2007 |
2008 |
|
Coree Raden |
35 |
35 |
35 |
|
Karl Nagy |
21 |
25 |
35 |
|
Steve Lawler |
24 |
26 |
28 |
|
Kurt Goetzke |
13 |
23 |
26 |
|
Ron Clifton |
22 |
25 |
25 |
|
Louis Song |
21 |
21 |
21 |
|
Andy Kurncz |
16 |
16 |
17 |
|
Jeff Longeway |
13 |
13 |
13 |
|
Matt Maser |
11 |
11 |
11 |
|
Dean Kobane |
10 |
10 |
10 |
|
Doug Granowicz |
10 |
10 |
10 |
|
Bruce Kruckeberg |
9 |
9 |
9 |
|
Todd Statetzny |
9 |
9 |
9 |
|
Eric Fournier |
8 |
8 |
8 |
|
Jeff Pretzer |
4 |
4 |
8 |
|
Dan York |
5 |
5 |
5 |
|
Dan McKay |
3 |
4 |
4 |
|
Jim Elgin |
4 |
4 |
4 |
|
Derek Andre |
3 |
3 |
3 |
|
Mark D'Antonio |
3 |
3 |
3 |
|
Chip VanLooy |
2 |
2 |
2 |
|
Chris Lemmon |
1 |
1 |
1 |
40 points required for Hall of Fame
induction.
NGAWire® 11Sep08
The NGA has announced that Karl Nagy has been named favorite to win the
2008
2008
NGAWire® 26Aug08
The rota of courses for the 2008
Thursday Rd1 12:00pm
Reflections
Friday Rd2 8:00am
Fountains
Friday
Saturday Rd3 12:20pm
Monarch
Sunday Rd4 9:40am
Swampfire
Tee boxes for each round are under review by the KGAM.
** The fun round Friday afternoon will be a two A-B player event. The format will be 3-3-3-3-3-3 where the game
played changes every three hole.
Possible games include scramble, best ball, total score, worst ball
scramble, alternate shot, modified alternate shot, three-club challenge,
two-club challenge, one-club challenge, etc…
This fun round will precede Friday evenings “Taking It To Blackout” activities.
The finalized fun round games are under review by the KGAM.
Teams for the fun round will be paired via blind draw. The A and B players groups are:
A – The Law, Goat, Jimmy Boy, The Greatest
B – Great McKay, The Cruiser, Heidi Klumberg, Y2K, Lennie, PJP Junior
It was a very tough decision for the NGA and KGAM to determine the
bottom crap of the A player group. PJP,
NGA and Great McKay are all considered awful A players, but Great’s lack of
resent play pushed him into B player status.
Day In
His Life
NGAWire® 21Aug08
This morning Andy tended to his ailing wife, showing his enormous
tenderness and compassion. He is
scheduled to make sales calls in the NE suburbs of Detroit and has planned to
have lunch at Recipes Restaurant in Troy.
This afternoon he will be working remotely before heading to Huron
Meadows GC in Brighton for his last golf league night of the year. After golf he will join his brother for a
beer at Champ’s Pub before heading home to see his beloved family.
2008
NGAWire® 12Aug08
After review of the blind drawing results for the 1st round
of the 2008
In lieu of the outcome of the BLIND DRAW, I have petitioned the NGA to
CHANGE my 2007 CHAMPION 2nd
GROUP 1 – Kurt Goetzke, Coree Raden, Andy Kurncz, Steve Lawler
GROUP 2 – Jim Hartigan, Bruce Kruckeberg, Jeff
Pretzer, Karl Nagy
GROUP 3 – Ron Clifton, Dan McKay, Jeff Longeway, Brent Pretzer
iPhone
Is My Phone
NGAWire® 8Aug08
Yesterday I picked up my new 3G iPhone from the local AT&T
store. Farewell my Treo 700p, farewell.
Day In
His Life
NGAWire® 7Aug08
Today Andy Kurncz went to work.
He enjoyed lunch and had a very busy day. He is planning to attend his golf league this
evening and is looking forward to seeing his wife and children when he arrives
home.
2008
NGAWire® 7Aug08
2007
GROUP 1 – KURT GOETZKE, STEVE LAWLER, BRUCE KRUCKEBERG, JEFF LONGEWAY
GROUP 2 – KARL NAGY, COREE RADEN, DAN MCKAY, PLAYER #12
GROUP 3 – JEFF PRETZER, JIM HARTIGAN, BRENT PRETZER, RON CLIFTON
How did Goetzke come up with his pairings you ask?
Let him break it down for you.
1) If given the chance, I will always set up a pairing with JEFF and
BRUCE. JEFF and I go way back and I like
to play with him whenever I can…I don’t see BRUCE more than a couple three
times a year, unfortunately, and again, if given the chance, I will always try
to play with him at least once at
2) In group 2, I decided that PLAYER #12 needed cigar love with his
buddy NAGY and I know PLAYER #12 enjoys playing with DAN. COREE was a perfect fit for this grouping
because it needed a little sexing up (come on, look at the other three in the
group) and I could not put him with RON, because RON would have trouble
controlling himself around COREE.
3) I put the PRETZER bros together, because, well, they are brothers and
I put HARTIGAN with them, because JIMMY MY
NGA NOTE – The deadline for PLAYER #12 entry into the 2008
I’m
Sorry Apple… I Was Wrong
NGAWire® 24Jul08
Yesterday the NGA placed a pre-order for the 3G iPhone. The AT&T clerk stated I should receive
the phone in 10 – 20 days, but noted in actuality they have been coming in much
sooner.
Tick,
Tock, Tick, Tock
NGAWire® 23Jul08
The 2008
1. Dan McKay 10/25/07 $160 ***Gift Winner***
2. Coree Raden 10/26/07 $160 ***Gift Winner***
3. Karl Nagy 10/31/07 $160 ***Gift Winner***
4. Ron Clifton 1/9/08 $160 ***Gift Winner***
5. Kurt Goetzke 1/11/08 $160 ***Gift Winner***
6. Jeff Longeway 1/14/08 $160 ***Gift Winner***
7. Bruce Kruckeberg 4/3/08 $160
Based on NGA insider information, the field for the 2008
8. Steve Lawler - $$$ pending, 92% in
9. Jeff Pretzer - $$$ pending, 77% in
10. Brent Pretzer - $$$ pending, 77% in
11. Andy Kurncz - $$$ pending, 53% in
Other former
Tim O'Connor - Hates golf, hates anything about golf. He now fishes every weekend.
Mark Chapman - Lacking will power to golf, not good anyhow.
Jim Hartigan - Family matters may be too much to overcome.
Matt Maser - Brazil bound, busy packing home and family. Ter uma boa viagem!
Mark D'Antiono - No longer receives googlegroup messages due to frenzied
wife, didn't receive
Jesse Nagy - Chose to visit SC in August versus visiting MI in
September.
Eric Fournier - Didn't receive invite, can't play golf anymore. If he could, he would.
The formal deadline for entries is set as 5:00pm on 8/8/08.
Screw
You Apple
NGAWire® 18Jul08
Last Monday (7/14/08) I had planned to purchase the new Apple 3G
iPhone. During lunch, I went to the
local Greenville AT&T store, but I was told they were out of stock. They said I could place a pre-order for the
phone and it would be available in 7 to 10 days. I told them “No thanks!” and I’d come back
when they had stock of the phone.
On Wednesday (7/16/08) I called all four of the greater Greenville area
AT&T stores to check on stock status.
None of them has the phone in stock, but pre-ordering was still offered.
Today I called the Apple store in Charlotte. They would not tell me their stock situation
of iPhone’s, but directed me to check the Apple web page after 9:00pm to find
out about Saturday availability. I did
as told, but unfortunately both the Charlotte and Atlanta stores did not have
the 16G (Black) phone.
What the hell Apple? You come out
with a new iPhone and don’t have enough inventories for everyone wanting
one? You market the hell out of your
product and then leave the people hanging?
Ridiculous!!
Maybe I will rethink my move from Verizon to AT&T.
Best
Ever
NGAWire® 17Jun08
Yesterday Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open in a playoff over Rocco
Mediate.
Tiger Woods is the greatest, Tiger Woods is
the best. I love Tiger Woods.
Baby
Great McKay Has Arrived
NGAWire® 8Jun08
The NGA family grew by one this past Thursday (6/5/08) with the arrival
of Dylan James McKay. Dylan arrived at
7:03pm. He weighed 4 lbs and measured
17.25 inches in length.
Dylan arrived a few months earlier than scheduled, but is doing
fine. Mom Kim and Dad Dan are excited
about his arrival, as are pseudo siblings Bogey, Bailey and Blue.
Congrats McKay family!
Hip
Hip Hooray! 3G iPhone On The Way!
NGAWire® 20May08
Apple's next-generation iPhone is likely to arrive on 6/9/08 when Steve
Jobs addresses the Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco.
The 3G iPhone will be apparently available immediately after the keynote
in the US, with an international roll-out within weeks, according to 'someone
very, very close to the 3G iPhone launch.'
NGA’s Karl Nagy states “Yes sir!
I have been waiting for this day my entire life. I can’t believe it is finally here!”
Brainiac
Wins Powerball
NGAWire® 20May08
Saturday’s Powerball jackpot winner is
Jonathan Vargas, a 19-year-old construction worker from Gaston, South Carolina.
Vargas matched all six numbers to win
the $35 million jackpot. He decided to take the lump-sum of $17.5 million.
The first thing he'll do now that he's
a jackpot winner? "I don't know,
probably play some video games," Vargas said in a Monday news conference.
He's a construction worker, and says
this was the first time he'd ever played Powerball.
"I was feeling lucky, plus I had
to get for gas," he says.
Vargas says he plans to buy his mother,
Patricia Richardson, a home, and then he wants to invest. He says his aunt is
an accountant, so she's helping him out.
"A lot of people go retarded with
that kind of money," Vargas said, "But God has a plan for me. I have
faith."
Good luck not going retarded Jonathan!
Pretzer
In Tight Pistons Jersey Too Sexy
NGAWire® 30Apr08
NGA Investigative Reporters
NGA investigative reporters received the following disturbing image from
last night’s Pistons/Sixers playoff tilt.
In this grainy photo released by unnamed sources, NGA member and former
The NGA is still awaiting comment from Pretzer. Only then can his man card privileges be
adequately reviewed.
Welcome
Baby Nagy!
NGAWire® 27Apr08
We are happy to announce the arrival of Owen Thomas Nagy to the NGA
family. Owen was born on April 24 at
5:55pm. His weight was 8 lbs, 4 oz and
he was 22 inches long.
Mom Courtney and baby Owen are doing great, brother Evan is happy to
have a playmate and Dad Karl is hunky-dory.
Owen is expected to make his NGA debut at the 2023
NOTE – Please see www.babynagy.com
for more information.
Battle
Of Glenhurst
NGAWire® 13Apr08
The titanic battle anticipated at yesterday's Glenhurst Scramble between
Team Lawler/McKay/Longeway and Team Goetzke/Pretzer/Kurncz never materialized.
As happens at times, the hype of the mêlée is outdone by the actual
match itself. Do you recall the Chicago
Bears trouncing of the Washington Redskins 73-0 in 1940 NFL championship, the
University of Michigan beat down of
Team Lawler finished in an impressive tie for 2nd place with a score of
61 (-9). The Lawler trio split around
$1000. Team Goetzke finished way back
with a dismal round of 66 (-4). The day
cost Team Goetzke members around $200 each.
A Day
In The Life Of The Chapman Brothers
NGAWire® 7Apr08
Today Andy and his brother Mark headed to Moose Ridge Golf Course for
their Michigan season opening round of golf.
1. What signals spring golf in Michigan better than a bag of wild rum
flavor Backwoods cigars?
2. The Moose Ridge warning sign clearly instructs Andy and Mark of their
tee box selection. Will they listen?
3. Andy lights his cigar with his oversized Zippo lighter.
4. Andy makes a sweet swing.
Looks like another fairway split right down the middle.
5. Oh no! Looks like a pulled
shot from the left rough. This can only
be trouble!
6. Two balls close on the 9th green.
One is Mark’s tee shot, the other Andy’s provisional (Mark 3, Andy 4).
7. Mark struts after sticking a shot on the 11th hole. No need of cockiness this earlier in the year
Mark.
8. Mark looks solid on tee. Can
you believe this syrupy looking swing produced a dub? Maybe he was still cocky?
9. A trip back to the simpler days of golf. Mark works on his reverse ‘C’ finish. Pure sweetness!
10. Andy offers a light to the stuffed clubhouse bear.
11. Mark enjoys a laugh. Maybe
they should have heeded the warning?
Final scores were Andy 86, Mark 103.
Great season opener boys!!
A Day
In The Life Of Capo McKay
NGAWire® 7Apr08
HGA.5 Staff Writer, Dan McKay
With the
temp in the low 60’s, Sunday marked a nice springtime Michigan golf season
opener. The day in a nut shell:
1. Where are
the keys, I’m going GOLFING!
2. Bag ready
and waiting.
3. Loading
it all up.
4. Happy
driving!
5. Scotty
loves to see putting greens. Can’t you see the smile!
6. Lawler
giddy with golf love!
7. Huge
lead!
8. What
great form!
9. This guy,
or Bigfoot, walked just like Kurt perhaps he was spying on team Lawler.
10. My lead
evaporated on the back. No worries. Team Lawler was pleased with all of their
Sunday play.
11. Ahhh…
golf in the springtime. Happy happy joy joy!
Two
Teams Prepare, One In Despair
NGAWire® 6Apr08
April 6 will be forever marked as the first official golf weekend for
the 2008 season, only one week before the fabled Glenhurst Memorial. Golfers were out in droves and tee time
sheets were booked. A few die hard souls
from the NGA world paired up to kick off the ‘08 season.
Kurt “The Goat” Goetzke (Team Goetzke/Pretzer/Kurncz Captain and
unofficial “A” player) and Jeff “Lenny” Longeway (Team Lawler/McKay/Longeway
“C” player) kicked off the morning round at Glenhurst GC. Longeway fired a blistering 79, taming the
beast of Redford and shocking both team captains. Goetzke, on the other hand shocked only
himself. He turned in a quote of
“terrible” describing his round of 79.
“If I played like this at Greystone, it would have been in the 90’s for
sure and the bad thing is that I putted terrible” said Goetzke.
While on the other side of town, the remaining team members of Team LML,
Steve “The Law” Lawler and Dan “Capo” McKay teed it up for an afternoon round
at the famed Plumbrook GC. The rounds
did not come as a shock to Capt Lawler, who fired a lackluster round of 75, and
McKay, scoring an unfulfilled 78. “If we
would have played like this at Greystone today we would have shot…oh yea we
didn’t” said Lawler. “I had one goal
today and that was just to play a round of golf.” Both players were rusty as expected and no
putt was made over twelve feet on the bumpy greens.
After posting three scores in the 70’s, Team LML is shaping up and ready
for its challenge next Saturday at the Memorial. As for Team
NGA REMINDER – Early this spring, Goetzke was booted from Team
Greystone.
Nagy-Kurncz
Strike Standing Bet for 2008
NGAWire® 31Mar08
In order to try and spice up their sorry golf games, sorry assed NGA
members Karl Nagy and Andy Kurncz have agreed to a standing bet for the 2008
golf season.
This bet begins April 1 and runs to the end of the year. The bet structure will be re-evaluated once a
player reaches the +$50 mark.
Payout Nagy Kurncz
+$10 <76 <80
+$5 76-79 80-83
$0 80-86 83-90
-$5 >86 >90
The NGA wishes good luck to both players, but we are whole heartedly
rooting for Nagy.
What
Did I Do?
NGAWire® 26Mar08
Detroit's Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his former chief of staff Christine
Beatty have been charged with lying under oath about having an affair and about
their role in firing a police officer.
"Seventy years. What did I do? They're trying to lock me up
forever. For text messages?" Kilpatrick told the standing-room-only crowd
at the Shrine of the Black Madonna on Detroit’s west side.
In some of those more than 14,000 messages, Kilpatrick and Beatty - both
married at the time - exchanged sexual banter, declared their love and arranged
trysts in motels in Metro Detroit and on out-of-town business trips.
"I have the opportunity right now to go prison, not jail, for text
messages. There's been no evidence. No facts presented. Get out of office and
go to prison." stated the Mayor.
We all hope that Kwame’s good name will be cleared and the city of
Detroit continues its resurrection.
Albion
College Golf – A Brotherhood For All Time
NGAWire® 20Mar08
In a ludicrous finding, NGA members Kurt Goetzke and Jim Hartigan just
recently discovered they played on the same Albion College golf team in
1988. Goetzke, a young, upstart, hot
shot freshman, and Hartigan, a time tested, wise, upper class senior, were both
members of the MIAA Albion Britons collegiate golf team, but did not know each
other. Flabbergasted to obtain this
information, the NGA declares this to be the stupidest NGAWire® ever!
Q1 –
How many years did you play?
JH: 1,
my senior year.
KG:
Less than 1.
Q2 –
Where you scholarship or walk-on?
JH:
Walk on.
KG:
Walk on, no scholarships in Division 3.
Q3 –
Were you any good?
JH:
No.
KG:
Better than now.
Q4 –
Did you play in any tournaments?
JH: As
an alternate. My scores didn't
count. I was the extra guy in case
someone got struck by lighting.
KG:
No, I quit before the first tournament because the coach didn’t play me even
though I was better than most on the team.
Q5 –
What was your best score?
JH: I
don't remember if I broke 90.
KG: No
idea.
Q6 –
What was your best memory?
JH:
Playing Kalamazoo CC in the pouring rain for 17 of the 18 holes. I do remember shooting 99.
KG:
Meeting Jim and not remembering it.
Q7 –
Who was the best player on your team?
JH: Coons, I think. Don't
remember his first name.
KG:
Shamus Fitzpatrick, in his mind, that is.
Q8 –
What team was the best in your conference?
JH:
Hope, I believe.
KG:
Hope College.
Q9 –
Did you take Kurt (Jim take you) under your (his) wing like a big brother?
JH: I
don't remember Kurt.
KG:
No, too busy smoking pot.
Q10 –
What did you think of Kurt (Jim) then?
JH: No
recollection.
KG:
Who?
Q11 –
What do you think of Kurt (Jim) now?
JH:
Whadda you mean? I love that man.
KG: A
fine coffee maker.
Q12 –
Was Kurt (Jim) a dick?
JH:
There were no dicks on my golf team. We
were brothers, in a loose sense.
KG: He
thought his shit didn’t stink.
Q13 –
What did you think of his mullet (pot smoking)?
JH: I
didn't notice it.
KG: We
were all advocates of it in those days.
Q14 –
Why didn’t you remember Kurt (Jim) was on your team?
JH: I only played three times. He
was never in my group. I don't remember
being on the bus with him. He said he
didn't play at Kalamazoo. Duck Lake was
our home course.
KG: Doing too many drugs.
Q15 –
Did being on the golf team help to get girls?
JH: Turns out no. I did all the
ground work.
KG:
No, that was my big penis.
Q16 –
Was playing Albion golf fun?
JH: The
short time it lasted, yes. I tried to
get as many practice rounds in that I could.
KG:
Best time of my life.
Q17 – Are you a better player now or then?
JH: Now, but not by much though.
KG: Then.
When
He Could Play
NGAWire® 19Mar08
Ten years ago, he could play. Boy
could he play. Rumors had always existed
that he could, but nothing was ever seen to back it up.
His season average was an impressive 78.82. Only three of his 65 scores were higher than
87. He broke the 80 barrier 44 times and
shot 75 or less 21 times.
He averaged over 8 GIR’s per round, hitting 13 or more five times. He made 6 eagles and recorded 3 or more
birdies 14 times.
Only 13 of his 1098 holes (4 rounds were not detailed) were played at
greater than double bogey.
In his final 14 rounds, his scoring average was an astonishing 73.79.
Ten years ago Andy Kurncz could play.
2011
NGAWire® 18Mar08
In just around 1300 days, the NGA will be embarking on the mother of all
tournaments, the 2011
In speaking with a number of NGA members, interest is very high. However, the cost of this event will end up
deterring many members.
Those interested should begin preparation to obtain spousal approval and
vacation time off, along with a plan to save the necessary funds.
The NGA will begin to collect payments from those truly interested later
this year.
Our
Anna, Sweet Anna
NGAWire® 17Mar08
Below is a cheeky collage of our girl Anna. Remember gang, playing good golf is not
everything.
Rawson
Disappoints In LPGA Opener, Still Declared Hot
NGAWire® 16Mar08
LPGA rookie Anna Rawson participated in her first 2008 tournament at
last week’s MasterCard Classic Honoring Alejo Peralta.
The little minx Anna played her rear off, firing rounds of 73 and
79. Unfortunately her total of 152 was 3
higher than needed to make the cut.
Better luck next tourney Anna!!
Lemmon,
McKay, Clifton ’08 CJI Champions
NGAWire® 13Mar08
Teammates Chris Lemmon, Dan McKay and Ron Clifton (CAPT) defeated Kurt
Goetzke, Karl Nagy and Andy Kurncz (CAPT) to win the inclement weather laden
2008 CJI.
Team LMC parlayed an outstanding opening round into complete defeat of
Team GNK. The trio of
Lemmon-McKay-Clifton won by 9 strokes, 203 (67-68-68) to 212 (74-71-67).
“We won! We won! We won!” exclaimed Captain Clifton. “Pinch me, I must be sleeping. I really can’t believe we pulled off the
upset. We won! We won!”
In stark contrast, Captain Kurncz’s disappointment with his top man
Goetzke was evident. “They ham and egged
it very well” exclaimed a weary eyed Kurncz.
“They received key contributions from each player, we did not.”
Due to a number of factors (early morning tee times, daylight savings, a
long drive home, bad weather in New York, leg aches and pains, 36 holes of golf
the prior day, lack of good rest, too much eating), the final round of the
tournament was cancelled, reducing the tournament to 54 holes.
The funny thing is that no one really seemed to oppose it.
NGA NOTE – Two foolish CJI members, Andy Kurncz and Karl Nagy, foolishly
wagered on the results of their foolish rounds.
Both players owe not-so-foolish bettor Steve Lawler $15 per man. Just plain foolish boys!
Do You
Google Group?
NGAWire® 4Mar08
Have you ever wondered who the greatest 2006tpc@googlegroups.com google
grouper of all time is?
The top posters since June 2006 are:
Posts Member
1584 kgoet...@hungryhowies.com
975 karln...@yahoo.com
761 dmc...@hungryhowies.com
652 karl.n...@bmwmc.com
510 andy.kur...@emersonprocess.com
472 ronald.clif...@sbcglobal.net
414 cormick.ra...@haworth.com
368 thela...@sbcglobal.net
353 jlong...@ford.com
92 mattma...@sbcglobal.net
Keep them posts coming!!
Law
Enforcement
NGAWire® 3Mar08
Steve Lawler and Karl Nagy have placed a number of wagers on the state
of Nagy’s golf game during the upcoming CJI.
A push number has been established per round based on the yardage of the
course. If Nagy can better the number,
he wins; if he goes over, Lawler collects.
The target numbers are 81 (distance under 6000 yards), 83 (distance between
6000 and 6999 yards) and 85 (distance 7000 yards of greater).
If Nagy can break 80, he will earn a bonus $5, but if he blows 91 or
more, Lawler collects the fiver.
These scores may be bit lofty based on the state of Nagy’s game.
“I am sure there will be at least one round played where too many good
cigars, too much warm sun and one too many cold beers will be too much to over
come!” stated Nagy.
Finally,
Finally, Finally!
NGAWire® 1Mar08
After a hard week of heated negotiations, Dayton House’s Bert Dawkins
has secured golf courses for the 2008 CJI.
A last minute increase to the number of players caused havoc to the
original CJI course selections.
The final schedule of golf is as below:
Fri (3/7/08) – Wild Wing Avocet (12:18pm, 12:24pm)
Sat (3/8/08) – Legends Parkland (7:08am, 7:16am)
Sat (3/8/08) – Legends Moorland (1:32pm Front & Back)
Sun (3/9/08) – Prestwick (7:30am, 7:38pm)
The final handicaps for the tournament are Chris Lemmon (4), Kurt
Goetzke (6), Karl Nagy (8), Dan McKay (9), Andy Kurncz (11) and Ron Clifton
(15).
This year the CJI will be conducted as a 2-man best ball team
event. Good luck to everyone!
Big
Changes For Team Greystone; 2008 Projected Great
NGAWire® 26Feb08
Sometimes the only solution is to throw the baby out with the bath
water. MPGA’s Team Greystone believes
this to be fact and is flushing five of its own down the toilet in hopes of
resurrecting a once promising team.
After a dismal season in 2007, Team Greystone overhauled themselves by
dumping 5 players, exactly one half of their team members. Included in the unloading was NGA mainstays
Kurt Goetzke and Dan McKay.
Can such a personnel overhaul work for Greystone? “It really can’t get any worse!” stated an
unnamed Greystone captain. “They simple
are not good golfers. We truly enjoyed
having these guys on our team and wish them good luck in their future golfing
endeavors.”
Also being dismissed was Larry Semczak (appreciative about the
dismissal), Nate Stevens (joined Team Wolverines) and Chris Lowry (was hoping
for a banner year, but caught in a numbers game).
One surprise was the retention of full time substitute Andy Kurncz. Even though Kurncz is not really a “team”
member, it was shocking that Greystone would retain services of a practice
player averaging 91.8.
NGAWire® NOTE – Former Team Greystone member Kurt Goetzke opened his
2008 golf season with masterful round of 72.
Could this cause Greystone captain Steve Lawler to rue the day he cut
Goetzke from the team or was this simply a matter of happenstance?
Late
Comers Increase CJI By Two
NGAWire® 25Feb08
The NGA is pleased to welcome two new contestants to the 2008 CJI –
Danny McKay and Andy Kurncz.
Though the request by McKay and Kurncz to attend the Myrtle Beach
gathering was very late coming, the NGA decided that it was in the best
interest of all parties to grant them entry.
McKay, a CJI rookie, has secured airline flights to and from Myrtle
Beach while Kurncz, also a CJI rookie, choose to navigate the 822 mile trip by
car.
Welcome to the CJI boys!
NOTE – The late entries by McKay and Kurncz have screwed the crap out of
the original CJI golf course rota.
Hopefully the NGA and Dayton House will be able to find one or two semi
decent courses to play.
Creamer
Wins Fields Open, NGA Very Pleased
NGAWire® 24Feb08
Yesterday Paul Creamer won the LPGA’s Fields Open in Hawaii with a
closing round of 66. She birdied the
last three holes to nip competitor Jeong Jang by one stroke.
Paula’s total of 200 (-16) was very exciting. This was Creamer’s 5th career LPGA
victory.
The NGA loves Paula! We always
have and always will.
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The
Dream
NGAWire® 12Feb08
Last night I had a dream that the final round of the 2008
On the first tee we were told that it was a dog leg left and that we
should aim at the street light off in the distance, but only hit the drive
around 220 yards, otherwise it would OB.
Ron's friend Joe was in the lead and we were all bitching because he had
a hefty handicap but shot something like 76 in the first round.
Waking up this morning I had a few things that I would like to ask the
NGA and KGAM.
1. Please don't schedule the final round at 7:30 pm.
2. Please don't invite any friend of Ron's named Joe something.
3. If Ron's friend Joe is invited, please give him an appropriate
handicap.
4. Please start loading up on batteries and improving your sprinting
times if any of the above come true.
Respectfully yours,
Dan "First official entrant and badge no. 1 bearer for the 2008
Tiger
Makes NGA Happy
NGAWire 27Jan08
Tiger Woods holds an 8 shot lead with the final round to play at the
2008 Buick Invitational. This makes me
very happy. The rest of the
2008
CJI Is Finalized… Maybe?
NGAWire® 24Jan08
The NGA’s newest spring tune-up known as the CJI is set for March 6 – 9,
2008.
Accommodations (for the second straight year) will be at the Dayton
House West Building. Each morning
breakfast will be served at Uncle John’s Family Restaurant.
Four rounds of golf have been scheduled as below:
Fri (3/7/08) – Wild Wing Avocet (12:28pm)
Sat (3/8/08) – Legends Parkland (7:16am)
Sat (3/8/08) – Legends Moorland (1:32pm)
Sun (3/9/08) – Prestwick (7:30am)
Currently only four players are entered: Karl Nagy, Ron Clifton, Chris
Lemmon and Kurt Goetzke. Will others
also attend? Only time will tell.
2008
Season Opener
NGAWire® 22Jan08
The
Remembering and pondering were utmost on Karl Nagy’s mind as he headed
to Carolina Springs GC in Fountain Inn, SC for his season opening round of golf
yesterday, but maybe golf should have been.
He toured the Pines/Cedar nines in 91 shots. Not the score he has hoping for, but one he
will and must accept. “In the past, I
would have been dismayed about a round like I played today” stated Nagy. “Many shots I played were flat out
unacceptable.”
The NGA wishes Nagy an outstanding 2008!
McKay
Rebukes Love Gone
NGAWire® 15Jan08
NGA Staff Writer, Danny McKay
As an honorable NGA member in good standing (hopefully) I am greatly
disappointed that the NGA has allowed the NGA Wire article "Where Has The
Love Gone?" to be published without all of the facts.
In deed the article speaks clearly to the opinion that Mr. Goetzke and
Mr. Lawler questioned my love for the game and their enjoyment on that day of
golf. However, one key fact missing in
the writings was how the joy of the day was brought to a screeching halt when
Sara (the Hooters waitress) asked Kurt what the tattoo on his finger was
for.
Was this glaring omission done on purpose? Perhaps the article title has more meaning
than we all knew.
Washed
Up
NGAWire® 15Jan08
NGA Staff Writer, Kurt Goetzke
An NGA insider has recently brought to this reporter’s attention some
very shocking information. While on a
recent trip to Florida, Karl Nagy and his brother Jesse went out for a
leisurely round of golf. What it turned
into was validation of how far the mighty Karl Nagy’s golf game has fallen.
My sources tell me that after 5 holes, Jesse, a novice golfer that holds
probably a 30 plus handicap, lead Karl.
The struggles continued for Karl and he barely squeaked by on the front
nine, beating Jesse by maybe 4-5 strokes.
On the back nine, Jesse continued to apply the pressure, even having an
EAGLE PUTT!!! Unfortunately, he
3-putted, something Karl has become very familiar with himself as of late. In the end, Karl hung on for victory, but it
was much more difficult than it should have been.
The NGA gained an exclusive interview with Jesse after the round. When asked if he would be returning to play
in the
An attempt was also made to interview Karl, but he was not available for
comment, fleeing to his car right off the 18th green, driving off with his golf
shoes still on and the sweat of a hard fought (too hard fought) round still on
his brow.
NGA NOTE – The actual final scores were Karl 86, Jesse 101.
Sayonara,
Szervusz, Ciao
NGAWire® 14Jan08
After reading the NGAWire® article titled ‘Where Has The Love Gone?’, a
bewildered Dan McKay has had enough.
McKay has issued the following statement:
“Have a wonderful life. Take care
all, and may your families flourish joyfully.”
No addition comments from McKay are available.
Where
Has The Love Gone?
NGAWire® 12Jan08
NGA Staff Writer, Kurt Goetzke
On Friday, Steve came to Hungry Howie's for lunch. Over slices of pizza we began to talk about
how the weather has been and the possibility of playing some golf. As Steve was about to leave, he came in my
office and I got on to accuweather.com and found that the forecast for Saturday
was very favorable. It said about 40
degrees and partly cloudy with minimal wind.
We made plans to play around 11:30AM.
We were giddy with anticipation.
As I was going to the afternoon workout, I stopped by to see Dan,
certain that he'd be excited about the prospects of playing as well. He does live right down the road, after all,
and who loves the game more than Dan???
Or so I thought. Much to my
dismay, his response was that "he may have something to do" and
"he'd let us know". I immediately
contacted Steve with the news that Dan was being a BIG PUSSY, and that he
should contact him. I got a call from
this morning from Steve at about 9:30AM saying he had talked to Dan (after
several calls back and forth with Dan not answering his phone..."what are
you talking about!!!!"). What I
found out shocked and amazed me. Steve
asked if Dan was in for this morning. Dan
asked him what time. Steve told him he
had a quick job to do, and he'd be there in about an hour. Dan then said he "probably would not be
able to make it." Something about
buying floor mats for his car. After
some ribbing from Steve, Dan unceremoniously hung up, not to be heard from the
rest of the day. There once was a time
when Dan would be the first in the parking lot, full of anticipation and
excitement, not being able to sleep the night before, because he knew there was
golf to play the next morning. A golf
club in his hand as natural as his little winky the first time he whacked off
to Ginger (or was it Mary Ann) watching Gilligan's Island. Oh how times have changed. Now, floor mats take precedence over the
former love of his life. We can only ask
WHY DAN??? Where has the love
gone??? Oh well, as they say. Steve and I plugged along. And what a day of golf it would turn out to
be. It was nip and tuck all day long,
with Steve pulling out a hard fought victory in the end (71-72). Several laughs were had throughout the round
at our friends’ expense. More than once,
the name of Andy Kurncz was invoked. Be
it when a drive went into the sun and nobody saw it ("Why doesn't anyone
ever watched Kurnczie’s ball??? I'm not
watching yours now!!!) or when there was a divot out of a green in one of our
lines ("hey, Kurnczie must have played in front of us"), it was laugh
after laugh. Then, we started talking
about the
Round Statistics
Kurt 72, 10 Greens, 3 Birdies, 3 Fairways, 28 Putts
Steve 71 10 Greens, 4 Birdies, 4 Fairways, 27 Putts
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