CJI Dates, Location
Set
NGAWire®
10Dec07
The
dates and location of the 2008 CJI have been determined. It will take place in
Liar, Liar
NGAWire®
16Nov07
Yesterday
United
States Penitentiary inmate Jamal “Two Finger” Brown states that he will welcome
Bonds to his
Enjoy
prison jerk.
Breakfast For Lunch
NGAWire®
15Nov07
Today
Karl Nagy enjoyed lunch at the local Waffle House (1509 Hwy 101 South,
McKay Uncorks At
Bowling Alley
NGAWire®
14Nov07
HGA
Contributing Reporter, Danny McKay
Last
Thursday during our Howie's bowling league, our team "Bad News Balls"
(Kurt, Steve, Shenkosky and I) was in a tough match against the President of
the company team. We had won the first
game by 47 pins. We then lost the second
game by 25 pins. Now in the third game,
after three frames it was not looking good.
Ever
the competitors, Kurt and I were trying our hardest to find something, anything
to pull out a win. I threw my first ball
and thought it was perfect, but when it hit the pins and left an 8-10 split. I was furious and upon walking back swung my
left fist at the ball return.
CRACK. Immediately I knew
something was wrong. My fingers went
numb. The numbness was followed by pain,
a lot of pain. I stood motionless for a
moment hoping that it would be fine, but I was wrong. I then grabbed my ball and threw it, missing
the spare.
Unfortunately
now, not only was I in pain, but we continued to get throttled. When the smoke cleared we had lost the last
game and totals. No one on the team was
happy.
On
the way home I tried steering the wheel with my sore hand, not a great
idea. When turning onto 14 Mile the
wheel caught my pinky finger bending it slightly… I can honestly say it was
some of the worst pain I have ever felt.
I
then called Kim to tell her I was on the way home. I told her my hand was killing me and what
had happened. She called me an
"idiot and that I shouldn't be punching sh!t". I thanked her for the advice and hung up.
When
I got home the swelling was bad. I tried
to elevate it to keep the pressure down.
I was able to sleep off and on, but the pain was kind of bad.
Over
the next few days it was painful, but I wanted to make it through the weekend
and see how it healed. On Monday, I
called and made a doctor’s appointment to have my monthly blood test for my
blood thinner and a look at the hand.
Before
I left for the appointment today Kim asked me to let the Doc know about my
hand. So I promised.
At
the appointment he looked the hand over and said we needed an X-ray. When the pics were done he brought them into
the room and broke the bad news. My hand
was broken. He showed me the break just
behind my left pinky knuckle. My first
words: "You're not putting a cast on it".
He
protested and told me that I should.
This way he could guarantee that I don't try to swing a golf club. I asked him what other options he had. He then produced a splint and a roll of tape. After a couple minutes, I had a makeshift
splint, and he had a promise that I would not do anything to it for 6 weeks.
Needless
to say I feel like an idiot. But I have
learned a valuable lesson. When you're
losing in bowling, do not punch the ball return. You can break your hand.
My
rehab for the 2008 CJI, Guldahl and
NOTE
– This article was issued to “set the record straight before the rumor mill
blows it out of proportion”.
Labor At Candlestone
NGAWire®
13Nov07
Today
Andy Kurncz fired 44-46-90 and his brother Mark Chapman 44-46-90 at Candlestone
GC in
This
was Chapman’s first official round of the year.
He played in the famed Glenhurst Spring Scramble tourney early in the
year, but that was a team event. Chapman
started today’s round with a par.
Kurncz
stated that golf makes him tired. He
thinks golf would be better played as a 12 hole round, with 3 warm-up holes to
start and 3 cool down holes to finish.
Dancing Fool
NGAWire®
6Nov07
This
past weekend was the big
With
MSU holding a 24-14 lead, Cori confidently stated that U of M was still going
to win the game. Andy asked her if she
would like to put a little wager on her statement.
Andy
offered that if
The
final score was
Ring Around The Rosy,
Cup Full Of Posy
NGAWire®
5Nov07
The
fabled Ralph Guldahl Memorial Trophy is currently being used as a receptacle
for flowers.
This
disturbing picture was taken at a home in
The
NGA does not condone this usage of the cup nor the multitude of debauchery
pictured with it.
Dog Days Of Fall
NGAWire®
2Nov07
WOOF
– Yesterday the NGA received an urgent message from Ron Clifton requesting DVM
advice. It had appeared to
Should
Pluto be allowed to try and pass the blade through his system, in hope that his
stomach, intestines and anal regions would not become a butchered mess or to
put him under the expensive, yet more reliable surgical knife of a veterinary
handyman?
Upon
receiving the bill, he also added “We just repurchased Pluto $$$$ again!”
WOFF,
WOOF – Last Friday, on the way home from work, the NGA gave a call to Andy
Kurncz to see how things were going.
Kurncz
stated that he and his family were at Payless Shoes in Twelve Oaks enjoying
Bogo. He bragged that after buying
shoes, the family was off to Olga’s Kitchen for dinner. A large order of Snackers and an Original
Olga was in his future.
I
complained that it was not fair for him to enjoy Olga’s while his buddy in the south
could not. In a show of good gesture,
Kurncz promised to send me a picture of his meal.
Two
hours had past and no picture. The NGA
was worried and gave him a call.
Kurncz
stated that things had changed and he was now on his way home. No Olga’s Kitchen for him – no Snackers or
Original Olga. He complained his belly
was hungry.
It
seems as though the Kurncz family had meandered into a mall pet store. $500 later they were on their way home with a
new dog.
“I
guess it will be crappy pizza tonight” exclaimed a bewildered Kurncz.
Raden Is #1 in 2008…
Or Is McKay?
NGAWire®
25Oct07
Earlier
this week (
That
same day (
Unfortunately
for Raden, his PayPal payment is still currently at an UNCLEARED status. The expected clearing date of his payment is
tomorrow,
Today,
This
now begs the question, who is the 1st entrant for the 2008
Section
19-22 of the NGA’s Guide to Running a Successful Tournament states – An entry
is only considered official when the required payment is received. Entries with partial payment or lacking
payment are considered void.
Move
over Raden, Dan McKay is the first entrant in the 2008
2007
NGAWire®
1Oct07
Karl
Nagy, 2007
At
the turn – After a solid par on 9, I was happy to be only 2 down going to the
back nine against putting manic Goetzke.
What I was not happy with was the service in the clubhouse for two
Gatorades – it took 15 minutes to pay for them, plus I left my favorite golf
towel on the counter. Stupid
Canadians! [Goetzke 38, Nagy 40]
10th
hole (par 4) – I figured that driver was the perfect club and hit an easy one
to the right center of the fairway.
Goetzke decided that driver was perfect too and hit a high flare right –
luckily he missed it way right of all the junk.
My approach came up short on the fringe and I didn’t chip it close
enough, but Kurt was busy hitting a tree and pitching long of the pin; he did
make another long one for double. All
was well. Lead down to one. [Goetzke 44,
Nagy 45]
11th
hole (par 3) – After McKay stole the tee and hit a 6-iron just left and long, I
knew my 7 was perfect. I hit it at the
right edge of the left bunker, but I didn’t see it land. I figured it was just long. Upon reaching the green, my ball was
nowhere. After some searching, I headed
back to the tee. I remember thinking
what a long, stupid, dirty cart ride this was to that misplaced tee. I hoped on to be killed by the golfers teeing
off on 18. I pulled my second 7-iron
under a tree, dubbed one into the bunker, splashed out and mindlessly three
putted, all the while my buddy Kurt was pitching and putting for par. In a blink of an eye, I just lost 5
shots. I was in big trouble now. [Goetzke 47, Nagy 53]
12th
hole (par 5) – Goetzke had the tee and hit his 3-iron way left. I pulled out driver, even though Kurt said
there was no room to hit it, I needed to smack something very badly. I aimed left and unleashed. The ball ended perfect at the 150 yard
marker, but I failed to get my 2nd all the way up to the perched green and only
made par. Goetzke gleefully found his
tee ball and reached the green in three, but he left his tough downhill putt
short (thanks Dan and Ron for scaring him) and missed the par attempt. Finally a miss by Goat! [Goetzke 53, Nagy 58]
13th
hole (par 4) – My head was finally cleared again and I told myself all was not
lost. I smoked my driver perfect
(again). Unfortunately my approach was
pulled and missed left. My recovery pitch
wasn’t good enough. Bogey for me. Goetzke was busy hacking down the entire
right side of the hole, but came away with bogey as well. No blood.
[Goetzke 58, Nagy 63]
14th
hole (par 4) – I ripped another drive dead center and a good 9-iron left me 8
feet for birdie. Goetzke said he hit a
great drive, but we couldn’t find it.
After a long search, he found it on his way back to the teebox. His ball was 20 yards behind McKay’s, not 25
ahead. Nice! Unfortunately for him he smoked his 2nd way
over the green into some shrubbery. I
thought to myself that maybe this was my chance? After finding his ball, Kurt’s third just got
it out of the deep stuff; he then pitched it long of the green, fatted one,
then wedged to 10-12 feet and rolled the putt in (of course) for triple. Before I attempted by birdie, I switched my
grip to cross-handed and played the ball off my left toe. I was putting so badly, I figured it couldn’t
hurt. I hit a good putt, but misread the
amount of break. Nonetheless, I picked
up three shots. [Goetzke 65, Nagy 67]
15th
hole (par 3) – Driver was too much, so I tried to smoke hook a 2-iron, but toe
dubbed it 70 yards from the green. Poor
Goetzke’s tee ball ended up on a tree stump balanced on some pieces of crap
wood. No chance for par. He squibed his shot behind the green and
couldn’t get it up and down. I hit a
real good 2nd to about 8 feet, but missed it to tie the lead. [Goetzke 70, Nagy 71]
16th
hole (par 4) – I hit another drive perfectly and a solid approach 30 feet pin
high left. Goetzke was again all over
the place and reach the green in three.
I decided to hit the putt with my SW for better speed, but I left it six
feet shy. It was more uphill than I
thought. I hit another good cross handed
putt (to tie the lead), but I missed again.
Goetzke must have felt sorry for me and slow lipped out his tiny putt
for bogey. Somehow all was squared. [Goetzke 76, Nagy 76]
17th
hole (par 3) – A tough hole. I hit a
steered 6-iron to the right back (safe side) of the green. Big relief.
Goetzke hit his tee ball on a better line, but near the water left. Kurt chipped close with his rescue and I hit
a real good first putt and made a man-maker 3 footer for par. [Goetzke 79, Nagy 79]
18th
hole (par 5) – I pumped a real good driver to just around the 200 yard
marker. Kurt hit a good 3-iron off the
tee and another long iron just short of a greenside bunker. SkyCaddie said I had 205 yards to the middle
of the green. I planned to play a high
fade over the trees, but I swung a bit hard and the ball went straight and unluckily
ended in a fairway bunker. I had about
60 yards over another trap to the green.
I thought about playing around the sand, but figured if I hit a good one
the pressure would be back on Kurt. I
caught too much ball and I went over the green into a hazard. I took my drop and pitched to 10
feet-ish. Kurt dumped his 3rd into a
bunker, but hit a good sand shot to 5 feet.
I knew I needed to make mine for any chance and poured it in. I still figured Goetzke would make his, but
no. His putt lost its speed and missed
low. Playoff time. [Goetzke 85, Nagy 85]
Playoff
1: 18th hole (par 5) – Goetzke went first and hit an ugly 3-iron short and
right. I hit my worst drive of the day,
longer than him, but right too. I
figured a 9-iron would get me to around 100 yards, but fatted it to 150. An easy 9-iron from 150 was a perfect third,
but I patched it again, just short of Goetzke’s bunker. I really wasn’t paying attention, but somehow
Goetzke finally reached the green in four.
My pitch from short of the bunker was on bear ground, but I was fairly
confident I could hit it close. I was
wrong and dumped it into the trap. I hit
the sand shot to 8 feet and made the putt for bogey. Kurt now had to make his lag from 4 feet to
extend things. He poured it in.
Playoff
2: 1st hole (par 5) – Goetzke choose his driver – as long as he hit it solid,
he’d be fine. He didn’t and hit a high,
weak ball right into a hazard. I ripped
my driver dead center to under 200 yards.
Big advantage me. After a drop
next to the garbage, Kurt ripped a rescue 250+ yards to 20 yards short. Nice recovery pal. I picked a 7-iron for my second to avoid
going long and hit it to the front fringe.
Goetzke told me he was going to get up and down and wedged it to 6 feet. My 8-iron chip and run stopped 10 feet short
and my putt to win the damn thing missed low.
I thought with the aerated green, Kurt may miss, maybe, maybe. Nope.
Playoff
3: 2nd hole (par 4) – Kurt ripped a 6-iron over the edge of the trees
perfect. My 6-iron was pushed right,
almost
2007
NGAWire®
27Sep07
Kurt
Goetzke, 2007
As
the Back Nine started, I was pretty confident...had not hit the ball great on
the Front Nine, but still had managed a 38 with some ridiculous putting...was a
little down because I left a 5 foot putt woefully short on 9 for a 37, showing
a little nerve and tentativeness...A very bad decision on my tee ball (hitting
Driver) on Number 10 lead to a punch out and a SW that came up short and hit a
tree short and right of the green...a pitch across the green and a painful just
missed bogey putt from 15 feet led to double bogey...I had given back a stroke
right out of the gate on the back nine...then came the turning point hole of
the entire day...After Dan hit a 6 iron slightly long and left, I pulled
(literally and figuratively) a 7 iron...it hit the edge of the bunker and
kicked right into a great spot just off the green...Nagy then struck a 7 Iron
as well and hit what appeared to be a fine, majestic shot just a bit left (looked
like it would be right about where mine was)...after looking for 5 minutes,
Nagy's ball was NOWHERE to be seen and had to return to the tee where he
proceeded to card an 8...Most awful break I have ever seen...I pitched to 4
feet or so and made the putt, making up 5 strokes on Karl and taking a
seemingly insurmountable 6 shot lead...I made a bogey on 12 (three putting) and
followed that up with a bogey on 13...then the fun began...I hit my best drive
of the day on 14 (which is not saying much), and then we commenced to
looking...we looked everywhere and when it appeared all was lost and I was
turning the cart back to the tee, I found my ball on the edge of the fairway,
just in the rough...we all agreed I could hit the ball, but feeling stupid
about the whole situation, I kind of quick hit a 7 iron from about 190
(downwind) and it hit over the green and went deep into the woods...I then hit
a provisional 8 iron on the BACK of the green...we found my ball, but it was a
tough shot...I got it out short, but then skulled the next shot off hardpan
into the fairway...I then dumped my chip about 2 feet in front of me and then
pitched to 15 feet straight downhill...I then MADE the putt for a 7, losing 3
strokes to Karl...On 15 I hit a 3 Wood pin high left, but, tragically, it was
against the stump of a cut down tree and against a piece of bark that would
have caused my ball to move if I moved it...I chipped sideways and then chipped
to about 15 feet and missed for a double...On 16 I hit 3 IRON, 5 IRON, and
chipped to about 25 after a horrible bounce right...I left the putt 4 feet
short and then had the worst lip out of the trip for another double
bogey...Karl missed a short putt for par and we were then, all of a sudden,
TIED again going to the treacherous 17th...I hit a solid punch trap draw 5 Iron
to about pin high left, where I then Rescue putted to 3 feet and made it for
par...Nagy also pared and we moved on to 18 still tied...I smoked a 3 Iron down
the middle, but in a terrible lie...I forced a solid cut 4 iron up in front of
the green, but on a downhill hardpan lie...Nagy had hit left and long in the
fairway bunker with an impossible shot and when he caught too much ball and hit
it way into the hazard long, I had an opening...I considered chipping sideways,
but felt I could get under it enough to get it somewhere on the green...NOT
Pee Pee Drip Deemed No
Problem
NGAWire®
25Sep07
During
the 3rd round of the 2007
While
waiting to hit their tee shots on the par 3 #14 at St Clair Parkway GC, a
urinating Karl Nagy asked his playing partners if they had a problem with
dripping urine after completion of a “draining the main vein”. They agreed that this has become a recent
problem for each – much to their relief.
One
unnamed player stated that he had sought medical advice for this problem. “I though my bladder was finished!” he
declared. “It is good to see we are all
in the same boat.”
Talk
then twisted to prostate exams, fingers up the anus, teaching young sons to
“tap” the penis and wet underwear stories before finally revering back to golf.
Goetzke Crowned 2007
NGAWire®
24Sep07
In
one of the closest battles in
The
final round started with Nagy leading by 1 over Goetzke and 6 over Ron
Clifton. Handicap differential placed
all three players in a dead heat with each other.
After
the front nine on Sunday, only Nagy and Goetzke remained in contention. Goetzke took a two shot lead into the back
and increased it to six with help of a Nagy quadruple bogey on 11, but a
Goetzke stretch of triple-double-double squared things up with two to play.
Both
players made good pars on the difficult par 3 #17 to keep things level. After messing up their third shots on the par
5 #18, both players began to scramble, Nagy from a hazard and Goetzke from a
bunker. Good recovery efforts by both
and a holed 12 footer by Nagy left Goetzke 5 feet from the title, unfortunately
the putt missed low. All was tied after
regulation.
The
players went back and played 18 as the first playoff hole. Less than spectacular drives and approach
shots left both players short of the green in three. Goetzke smartly played his fourth onto the
green, while Nagy patched his shot into a sand bunker. Nagy gamely got his ball up and in for a
bogey six and Goetzke two putted, holing a slippery four footer, to extend the
playoff.
On
the par 5 #1, Goetzke flared his drive high and right into a hazard. After a penalty drop, Goetzke smashed his
rescue club 20 yards from the green.
Nagy hit his second onto the fringe, but failed to get up and down and
settled for par. Goetzke pitched from
just short of the green to 8 feet and rolled his putt home to tie the hole.
The
battle finally ended on the par 4 #2. A
weak tee ball and approach shot over the green left Nagy with an impossible up
and down chance. Goetzke, soundly in the
heart of the green after two good irons, was in control. Nagy proceeded to thin his third over the
green into a bunker, and then splashed number four back across onto the
fringe. A Nagy lag putt past the cup
left Goetzke with three putts for the win.
The
final results of the 2007
1
Kurt Goetzke 74-70-77-75 296 (+12)
2
Karl Nagy 76-70-74-76 296 (+12)
3
Ron Clifton 81-77-68-78 304 (+20)
4 Steve Lawler 80-77-77-77 311 (+27)
5 Dan McKay 92-68-72-83 315 (+31)
6T Jeff Pretzer 79-80-78-83 320 (+36)
6T Andy Kurncz 80-88-80-72 320 (+36)
8 Bruce Kruckeberg 93-80-70-83 326 (+42)
9
Jim Hartigan 86-77-81-83 327 (+43)
10
Jeff Longeway 86-78-85-84 333 (+49)
11
Tim O'Connor 86-86-77-86 335 (+51)
12
Coree Raden 93-82-87-91 353 (+69)
13
Brent Pretzer 87-84-85-110 366 (+82)
Congratulations
to Kurt Goetzke, the 2007
BTW
– The 2007
2007
NGAWire®
18Sep07
The
2007
Not
since Jeff Pretzer “Arrive, Survive, Stay Alive” campaign and victory in 2005
will a
Here
is a look at this year’s rookies:
Jim
Hartigan (handicap 3) – Jim looks to be the most powerful rookie in the
field. His solid and consistent game,
plus love for caffeine, will prove beneficial over the long haul. Jim’s participation and experience as a
playing marker at the 2005
Brent
Pretzer (handicap 6) – Brent is a cagey competitor. If backed into a corner, he will go for your
jugular. However, golf courses do not
have corners and Brent will not be a factor.
Tim
O’Connor (handicap 2) – Tim is one of the most gifted players in the
field. His hands are large. However Tim’s low handicap and the fact that
we will be coming off playing four consecutive days of tiresome tournament golf
will be detrimental.
Unfortunately
for all rookies, their allotted handicap strokes will prove a great hindrance
in trying to capture the prized
Woods And Nagy Win
Tour Championship
NGAWire®
17Sep07
This
past weekend Tiger Woods won the
Woods’
total of -23 under par won him $1,260,000 and a $10,000,000 retirement annuity
and Karl Nagy $5.
Phil
Mickelson piss poor total of -5 earned him $134,400 and Andy Kurncz $0.
In
all likelihood, this will be the final official
An
item description of “2007 Tiger/Phil Season Bet” with the amount of $10 will be
entered in the Andy Kurncz Fees Excel file as another owed item.
Say It Ain’t So Big
Blue!
NGAWire®
4Sep07
This
past weekend, NCAA college football powerhouse and perennial national title
contender
The
mighty Wolverines were defeated by the Appalachian State Mountaineers on
Saturday, 34 – 32, at the Big House in
NGA’s
own Dan McKay was heard on a phone message stating “We lost. We lost.
We lost. We lost. We lost.
We lost.”
Can
U of M really salvage anything this season?
A win over
Way
to go ASU! Way to go!
Lucky Mickelson Beats
Dehydrated Woods
NGAWire®
3Sep07
Yesterday
Phil Mickelson won the Douche Bag Championship by two over Tiger Woods.
The
win by Mickelson/Kurncz reduces the Woods/Nagy lead to a $25 to $20 margin.
2011
NGAWire®
21Aug07
The
2011
The
first tee shot of this historic
Mark
your calendar and remind your wife!
Woods Wins 2007
NGAWire®
12Aug07
Today
Tiger Woods won the 2007
Woods’
win increases Karl Nagy’s lead in the season long Woods/Mickelson wager over
Andy Kurncz to $25 to $10 margin.
With
only FedEx tournaments left for Tiger and the fact that Phil is a muscle, Nagy
is looking add to his total in the next month.
Cheater Hits Homer
756, No One Cares
NGAWire®
8Aug07
Last
night, the big cheater and steroid user living in
Woods Wins, Nagy Wins,
Kurncz Still A Loser
NGAWire®
7Aug07
This
past weekend Tiger Woods netted his fourth victory of the season. His total of -8 won him $1,350,000 and Karl Nagy
$5.
Woods
defeated rival Phil Mickelson by 21 shots.
Mickelson’s sorry total of +13 earned him $44,500 and Andy Kurncz $0.
Nagy/Woods
lead the season long wager by a total of $20 (4 victories) to $10 (1 victory)
over Mickelson/Kurncz.
Odds
are that Nagy/Woods win again this week at the
Adiós Team Greystone
II
NGAWire®
6Aug07
Dan
McKay and Kurt Goetzke played their last official Publinx match yesterday as
part of Team Greystone II. They posted a
pair of 90's and took a combined total of zero points.
Their
loss is going to leave a giant hole on the team’s lineup. Replacing a pair like this is not going to be
easy for team captain Steve Lawler. One
could make the comparison to the U.S. Ryder Cup Team losing the likes of Tiger
Woods and Phil Mickelson.
When
asked what the future holds for the HGA golfing duo, they replied "We are
going to form our own team with Andy Kurncz as our captain and have some fun again."
With
a nucleus of Kurncz, Goetzke and McKay, the new Publinx team looks to off to a
tremendous start.
McKay Enjoys Ice Cream
Cone
NGAWire®
3Aug07
Today
at lunch Dan McKay enjoyed an ice cream cone.
Oh No Purple Toe
NGAWire®
31Jul07
This
morning before work, Karl Nagy accidentally ran into the living room
couch. Ouch! His 2nd toe on the right foot paid the
supreme price.
No
golf league for Karl tonight.
O
NGAWire®
31Jul07
O
True
patriot love in all thy sons command.
With
glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The
True North, strong and free!
From
far and wide, O Canada,
We
stand on guard for thee.
God
keep our land glorious and free,
O
Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O
Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
And The Name Is… 2007
Gala!
NGAWire®
31Jul07
The
LBGAM has released the name of its upcoming tournament. It will be called the 2007 Gala. Let the excitement begin!
LBGAM Beats KGAM To
Punch,
NGAWire®
31Jul07
Lack
of information regarding the 2007
Angered
by the lack of KGAM information, the LBGAM has scheduled its own tournament for
the same time period as the
The
schedule of play for the LBGAM event (tournament name is under discussion) has
been released.
Rd 1, Thur 9/20, 9:00a,
Rd 2, Fri 9/21, 8:00a, Firerock GC
Rd 3, Fri 9/21, 1:00p, Cardoc Sands GC
Rd 4, Sat 9/22, 10:00a, Sawmill Creek GC
Rd 5, Sun 9/23, 9:00a,
Included
in the LBGAM entry is free tournament housing at the Lawler Family Retreat
Compound in
“The
KGAM has always been a shoddy organization” states LBGAM President Steve
Lawler. “I feel bad that the NGA was
hoodwinked by Kurncz and company once again, but you can only take a horse to
water so many times. Maybe the HGA and
WMGA can revitalize the
Of
the five players committed to participate in the
NGAWire®
26Jul07
With
less than 56 days until the 2007
Nonetheless,
the players that have entered are the heart and soul of the
Dan
McKay, #1 entry, handicap 10 – Past
Coree
Raden, #2, handicap 0 – Past
Karl
Nagy, #3, handicap 9 – Past
Ron
Clifton, #4, handicap 15 – Past
Mark
D’Antonio, #5, handicap 7 – Past
What
an exciting
I Ate The Pounder
NGAWire®
24Jul07
Yesterday
NGA’s own Andy Kurncz ate the pounder.
During
his lunch with fellow MicroMotion co-workers at Cheeburger Cheeburger in
Livonia, MI, Andy and fellow colleague Dan decided they would take on the
semi-famous “Our Famous Pounder” 20oz pre-cooked hamburger.
“The
first half went down like nothing” declared Andy. The second was a bit more of a
challenge. “I really had to pace myself
eating the 2nd half pound.”
Not
only did both men finish their burgers, but they also consumed a basket of
Frings and large drinks. Their efforts
obtained them each an “I ATE THE POUNDER” t-shirt and a photo of themselves
holding a massive burger was taken and adorns the restaurant’s wall of fame.
Noted
Andy, “What we ate was equivalent to five Quarter Pounder’s w/Cheese.”
Battle At Washtenaw
Headlines FoMoCo And Platinum Drywall
NGAWire®
13Jul07
The
age old question of company supremacy will again be up for test today. Ford Motor Company’s own Matt Maser and Mark
D’Antonio will be hosting Platinum Drywall’s Jeff Pretzer and Steve Lawler in a
golfing mêlée on the grounds of Washtenaw CC in Ann Arbor, MI.
Matt
Maser (1997
Jeff
Pretzer (
Good
luck to both teams!
The
NGA graciously provides the below translation for Platinum Drywall associates
and southern immigrants country wide.
La
cuestión histórica de la supremacía de la compañía estará otra vez para arriba
para la prueba hoy. Maser Matie y marca
mates D' Antonio Marque de la Compañía del Motor de Ford propio recibirán a
Pretzer Jefe de Drywall del Platino y Lawler Seban en un mêlée golfing sobre la
base de Washtenaw CC en Ann Arbor, MI.
Maser
Matie (campeón de 1997
Pretzer
Jefe (2006 lugar de
¡Buena
suerte a ambos equipos!
Dew Sweeping
NGAWire®
9Jul07
NGA
Contributing Reporter, Coree Raden
Dew
sweeping at 7AM is a beautiful thing.
My
round Sunday Morning began at 6:47 AM on the Red Nine at Saskatoon golf
club. Surprisingly the course was
buzzing with activity, another single was teeing off on the White nine
(although he was riding), a foursome was waiting for him to clear on the same
nine. I had a twosome walking behind me
that as soon as I hit my second shot on the first hole was firing away. I quickly walked up to the green and two
putted for my par. In a hurry went to
the next tee trying to build a gap between myself and the next group. After the second hole I couldn’t see them
anymore but, assumed they were approaching the tee so, I had a one hole cushion
built up. I kept up the pace, and
walking down the 5th hole (easiest par 5 on the course which I bogeyed), I saw
them just beginning to approach the second green. Not sure how I built a 2+ hole cushion that
fast but, I just kept motoring along.
Walking up the 9th hole I see the other single teeing off on the Blue
nine. So, I was about even with him
since he teed off and was in the fairway when I teed off.
Made
the turn at 7:50 AM, moving across the street to the Gold nine. Walked the first two holes of the back nine
and couldn’t see anyone else out there besides me, smooth sailing ahead. As I teed off on the 12th hole as I addressed
the ball, I heard a driver impacting the ball on the second hole. As I walked towards the tree I hit on this
par 3, I surveyed the situation and saw that it was a single golfer riding with
his dog running along side him. In my
mind I said okay let’s pick up the pace to stay ahead of him. 13th hole pulled my drive towards the woods,
as I was walking towards my ball and hoping it got kicked out, I watched to see
how fast he was playing he was moving along pretty good, walking off the second
green as I found my ball safely in the rough with only minor tree
troubles. Moving along quickly I
preceded to the finish the 14th hole and looked back and he was still on the
13th green. Hit a nice drive on the 15th
and hit my approach to 10 feet on this short par 5, missed the eagle of course. He was actually on the 15th tee as I finished
the hole. Quickly played through the
16th hole par 3 which I 3 putted for bogey.
As I arrived at my ball in the 17th fairway he was just approaching the
tee on 16. In my mind I relaxed and said
okay, I am not going to have to let him play through. Finished the last two holes with ho hum 2
putt pars. After returning to my bag on
the 18th green, I looked at my clock to see how fast I had played. It was 8:52.
So, 18 holes in 2:05. Actually 1
minute shy of my record round.
As
much as I enjoy playing golf with friends, I also enjoy playing these types of
rounds where I can play 18 holes before 9 AM and still have the rest of the day
to do what I want. On a side note, Karl
can you update my low round to a +1 – 72 at Saskatoon Golf Club on July 8,
2007.
Early Morning Golf
NGAWire®
6Jul07
NGA
Contributing Reporter, Ron Clifton
Last
night I got the green light to play today. I was holding a KMGA rain check from
the Bob Milar, it was burning a hole in my pocket.
Puppy
got me up at 5 am let him out fed him dressed out the door by 5:30. Arrive at
Milham Park at 5:50 to a locked gate. 6:30 an early bird member told me the
gate usually doesn't open until nearly 7:00. Today was an early day for the
Milham staff the gate opened at 6:45. After unloading clubs and preparing to
play I learned the early bird retired Milham Membership is holding the first 4
tee times. So I am the first of the back 9 at 7 am 1:15 after arriving.
I
had a magical 9 holes 7/8 fw, 1/9 greens, 14 putts for 41. A great scrambling
day. On 10 I hit my 3rd just to the back of the green had to chip over a 2 inch
water hose to a foot for a par. On 12 great sand save short sided right bunker
with pin tucked right. On 13 after sculling a 9 iron over the green chipped low
7 iron from under a pine tree to 10 feet nearly made great par, good bogey.
Solid play until the drivable 277 yd (plays longer) 16th. Piped 4 wood to 70
yds pin way in the front came over sw flew way over green by 50 yds down hill
on hard pan by cart path nearly in the woods as the guy cutting the green
waits. I knock sw back 25 feet and drain it for par! He was impressed he
muttered and shook his head. Limped in bogey for my +4 41 on par 37 the last 2
holes always play tough. I attempted to go to the front, I played in 1 hr 20
minutes but time didn't allow for me to post 18. I played 10 and 11 again and
walked to the car at 9 am. Off to Wal-Mart, and then to GLCC for my daughter's
birthday party.
I
realized I don't have the time nor patience to play much golf in a 4 some for 5
hrs. I love the flow I had dew sweeping the back 9 being the first one to play
it. Got to 18 before it was mowed :)
Not
sure I got my money's worth for my 18 hole rain check only got 11 in and not a
postable 18 hole score. Learned I will never ever head to Milham without a tee
time. The 3 some leading off didn't want anyone joining them I could tell I
didn't bother asking.
After
a relaxing afternoon at GLCC by the lake beach sand playground. One day soon I
may be a social CC member with hopefully a few free 18 hole passes to use here
and there. Time will tell. I know I will not be joining KMGA Milham or Eastern
any time soon.
Goetzke Shows Good
Form, Lawler Is Simply Better
NGAWire®
28Jun07
Last
night Kurt Goetzke played good golf. His
league night round of 36 (with a mere 11 putts) was a thing of mastery. Goetzke finally seemed bound to win his $10
standing league bet against old rival Steve Lawler.
Wrong! Goetzke was manhandled by Lawler and lost
4&3.
Lawler
bombardment Greystone GC’s difficult back nine in 31. His Tigeresque round included birdies on 10,
11, 12, 14 and 15; all others scores were pars.
Is
Goetzke able to compete on the same playing field with the likes of Lawler
without handicap strokes? The answer is
no. Should Goetzke be proud of his round
and use it as a stepping stone to resurrect his crappy golf game in hopes being
somewhat competitive in time for the 2007
Rocky Road For Clifton At K’zoo Amateur
NGAWire® 25Jun07
This past weekend longtime NGA member Ron
Clifton competed in the 2007 Kalamazoo County Amateur.
He opened the tournament at Eastern Hills GC.
"As for today I went to the Milham Park
Arts & Craft fair with the kids from 10-11, then Ginger took them for the
day. I got to Eastern Hills and heard about the 15 minute delay, ran home
quick to check on Pluto, then back for my routine, hit balls, chips, putts,
then waited for the actual 40 minute delay. I exchanged cards with what I
thought was the competition in my group. He shot 41 on the front to my
42. The 3rd best player in our group ended with 3 or 4 pars in a row, I
didn't see him coming. The guy I had my eye on proceeds to make a 12 on
10 (par 5), then a triple on 11 (par 3), he is done. The #3 guy keeps
making pars, he and I tied actual but he is a 15 so he is 2 back, also in the
last group of 2nd flight. He shot 84 and 86 last week, so we are close in
score but not in handicap."
Clifton ends up firing a very nice 84. This was an excellent start for him.
"Today I had a birdie putt on 1, 2,
nearly chipped in for birdie on 4, birdie putt again on 6, and 9, and 10, another
on 12, and 14, on 15 I had 100 in out of rough down in a hollow up again wispy
grass, I went under a wedge as I heard the sound of a driver on adjacent tee, I
re-grouped chipped it up and made a 5 footer with a foot of break for bogey
(key save), birdie chances again on 17 and 18. Notice I didn't make any
birdies, mostly walked away with par, one or two 3-putt bogies, only 1
double."
His score placed him atop the 2nd flight
leader board after day one.
“I don't know how the guys on tour can sleep on
the lead, a major must be gut wrenching.
I made it to the barbeque, had 4 beers, some brats and rice, beans and
fajitas. I am feeling good. I tee off at 8:54 in the am last group of 2nd
flight.”
The next morning Clifton heads to Milham Park
GC for the 2nd round. His playing
partners are Craig Tenant, Christopher Moffat and Royce Wiggington.
“I shot 95 today, net 78. I predicted that would take me from 1st to
8th walking off 18 green, I finished 7th alone.
I had to shoot another 84 to beat Royce. I played with the winner, 3rd, and 4th. One could say I got steam rolled.”
Unfortunately he was not able to follow up
yesterday’s performance.
“Trying to keep the good carma going from
Saturday to Sunday, I wore the same baby blue BMW visor both days, with the
2006
Though he was disappointed in his
performance, Clifton surely gained valuable tournament experience.
“It was an enjoyable and affordable
tournament. I gave it my all, slept
poorly, up early, to course early, hit bunker shots, wedge shots, hit small
bucket, chipped and putted. I can
tell my grand kids I was the overnight leader of the K’zoo Am and I teed off as
the leader. I considered wearing my Poulter pants, they might have helped
me. These past few weeks my range work
had been trying to get the club more behind me.
Saturday as I warmed up for the round I was shanking shots, so I chucked
that routine and went back to my natural feel for the game of golf. That produced the 84 Saturday which was
good. Sunday I think it was the 6 inches
between my ears and the 18 hours with the lead.”
We all wish Clifton better luck next time.
Not Again!
Goetzke Makes Stupid US Open Bet
NGAWire®
14Jun07
The
US Open brings out the stupid in a lot of people. Phil Mickelson, Colin
Montgomrie, Jim Furyk… and now Kurt Goetzke.
Goetzke
made a $10 best finish bet with Karl Nagy. Goetzke took Ernie Els, Nagy
picked Tiger Woods.
It
is unknown if there will be carnage in Oakmont, PA this weekend, but a massacre
in Madison Heights, MI is highly anticipated.
Finally… Kurncz Makes
Things Right
LGAWire®
11Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The
LGA would like to welcome back to the Masters2007 family, Mr. Andy Kurncz.
"At exactly 4:15pm on Saturday, June 9th, the Masters2007 committee did
receive a letter from Kurncz."
After
the committee put the letter through a rigorous anthrax screening process, the
contents of the letter were revealed.
"We
are very pleased to announce that the check was signed and represented the
correct amount, that being $20. In fact, as a token of good faith, a Starbucks
gift card was also included in the letter."
The
LGA now officially calls for the other governing bodies to consider letting
Kurncz in - at least on a conditional basis.
"We
can finally focus our efforts on 2008." lamented an emotionally scarred
committee member. "What Kurncz did was egregious and attacked the true
soul of competition. But like all things, time will blunt the knife that Kurncz
wielded on this committee and on the game itself."
Move Over Ralph
NGAWire®
8Jun07
The
NGA Board of Governors is discussing the prospect of renaming the Ralph Guldahl
Memorial trophy in honor of three-time
“The
question is not will we rename it, but when.” stated an unnamed NGA board
member. “Raden has dominated the
Raden
has participated in 10
When
the name change will take place is still in question, but soon enough the NGA’s
most important trophy will honor two greats of the game!
USPS Postage Increase
Sucker Punches KGAM
NGAWire®
1Jun07
Unbenounced
to KGAM president Andy Kurncz, the USPS increased the cost of a First Class
letter from $0.39 to $0.41 beginning May 14, 2007.
LGA Hates Kurncz,
Others To Follow Lead
LGAWire®
1Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The
LGA has officially called on the other governing bodies, namely the NGA and the
WMGA to ban Kurncz from all future events.
The
audacity of Kurncz to never pay up for his entry into the MASTERS 2007! pool is
great cause for alarm. It is an indicator that something more tragic - and more
harming - may come in future events. Therefore we are calling out to other
governing bodies to ban Kurncz from all future events.
This
call out for action is very similar to the "88" rule that the LPGA
has in place at their events. Kurncz may claim that a "wrist" injury
has caused him not to write a check, but we all know that the LGA accepts cash
as well.
First
the NGA, then the WMGA - next we’ll position the big boys - GAM, USGA, etc...
We may even warm the
O’Connor Takes It Low
NGAWire®
23May07
NGA
Contributing Reporter, Kurt Goetzke
After
suffering through a grueling round of golf at the difficult Greystone Golf
Course on Saturday, May 19, first-year Team Greystone member, Tim O’Connor came
out firing at the equally difficult Rattle Run Golf Course the following
Tuesday.
After
stringing together 5 straight birdies, Tim proudly carded a sizzling 67, an
utterly amazing 27 strokes better than his round the previous Saturday. In a round that included two 3 putts, OIHM
(O’Connor In His Mind) O’Connor stated, “it could have been lower!!!” He followed that comment with a resounding,
“I AM BACK!!!”
This
is great to hear, because many have been asking, “Where have you been, Tim?”
O’Connor,
averaging a lackluster 86.4 (nearly 90 at Greystone), is still trying to find
his way in the difficult world of Publinx Golf.
He came to the team with excellent credentials, including a silky smooth
putting stroke and a 500 lbs bench press.
We all hope that this stellar round at Rattle Run was not a fluke. This reporter has to believe that it is not,
considering Tim fired a similar round at Greystone earlier in the year (before
the season started).
The
NGA is intrigued by this fact and will continue to monitor his progress. At this point, there is no reason to question
his round, and, in fact, Tim confidently has stated, “I paid off, I mean, I
have witnesses.” Hopefully these rounds
will translate to some competitive rounds in the near future.
Maybe
Tim is just another member of the “garbage time” club of golfers on Team
Greystone, or maybe he is not. Only time
will tell.
Kurncz Solicits Lemmon
Address, Payment Pending
NGAWire®
21May07
Yesterday
morning Andy Kurncz asked the NGA for Chris Lemmon’s home address.
Does
this mean that his payment for the 2007 Masters Pool is finally on the way?
Hopefully
the United States Postal Service doesn’t mess this up… again.
Mickelson Wins
Players, Only Kurncz Cares
NGAWire®
13May07
Phil
Mickelson (-11) wins The Players Championship in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL by two
shots over Sergio Garcia.
Tiger
Woods finishes well back at (E).
No
one cares… except maybe Andy Kurncz.
Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $10
LPGA Michelob Ultra
Championship
LGAWire®
12May07 (dateline – Williamsburg, VA)
Observations
from the LGA on attending the LPGA Michelob Ultra Championship event in
Williamsburg.
Woman
play slow. Five, yes five groups were on
the par 5 6th tee waiting to tee off. I
did take the opportunity to watch the following on the tee: Lorena Ochoa was
like a school girl talking with the other players. Paula Creamer was by herself talking with her
caddie (loser). Cristie Kerr does have manly
features, despite her weight loss.
Natalie Gulbis was hit on by about five Michelob-filled guys in a manner
of 2 minutes, biggest crowd of the day by far.
Also,
don't get all pumped up about how far the ladies hit it - the fairways were
rock hard - at least 30 yards of roll after they hit it 220 in the air.
All
in all, a fun day at the links - I just wish Grace Park was here - get well
soon!
Nagy/Woods 3,
Kurncz/Mick 0
NGAWire®
7May07
Tiger
Woods (and Karl Nagy) shot a final-round 3-under 69 to claim his 57th career
Phil
Michelson (and Andy Kurncz) finished T-3, four shots back.
Season
totals – Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $0
Look Who’s Back
NGAWire®
4May07
Just
days after declaring no more love for the game of golf, Kurt Goetzke is back –
and better than ever!
In
his golf league play last evening, Goetzke found his form and blister the
Greystone GC back nine in 41 shots.
Way
to go Kurt!
Kurncz Delinquent
Pisses Off LGA
LGAWire®
4May07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The
Masters 2007 golf committee has officially put Kurncz on probation for late
payment of entry fees.
"It's
a shame that the committee has to go public with this probation - given the
committee's long-standing tradition of keeping finances under the sheet. One bad apple can ruin the bushel as they say
in Augusta," says a veteran committee member.
There
is still time for Kurncz to have the conditional status for the 2008 Masters to
be lifted. He must deliver the entry fee
by the end of May.
"This
kind of tarnishes everything - the green jacket, the money, everything. To think that a boy from Iowa can win the
Masters, and truly capable individual like Kurncz can't find a mailbox - well,
it makes you wonder - you know," moped winner Zach Johnson.
So
the clock is ticking… will the invite be extended next year? Only one person has the power to change
everything - and make everything right once again.
Goetzke’s 1st Start
Nets Greystone 1st Loss Of Season
NGAWire®
30Apr07
The
facts are in. Yesterday in MPGA Team Play, Greystone II traveled to Romeo for a
match versus lowly Romeo I. Yesterday Kurt Goetzke made his first start of the
season. Yesterday Greystone II was defeated for their first loss of 2007.
What
the heck happened? Can Goetzke’s season of hope really be over before May
arrives? Was his fitness regimen and new attitude effort all for not? Can
Goetzke be considered anything but a run of the mill shitty golf?
Upon
finishing his round (not that it is important, but he blew 88), Goetzke stormed
into the clubhouse, tossed his $20 match fee at his captain and bolted from the
grounds. Late last evening, Team Captain Steve Lawler received the following
text message from Goetzke: “Sorry-had NO more cheer left-2day TRULY made me ask
myself if I should consider givin up the game I have loved 4 many years-1 of
the most disappointin days EVER”.
It
looks like another NGA member has lost both his mind and game. Who will be
next?
McKay In Double Blow
Out Trouble
NGAWire®
28Mar07
This
past Sunday (25Mar07), Team Greystone’s captain and boss Steve Lawler scheduled
an on course “interview” for three of the extra players at Shepherd’s Hollow GC
(Clarkston, MI).
The
players auditioning for Lawler where Kurt Goetzke, Danny McKay and Officer Tim.
Fortunately for Team Greystone, three of the four players bettered a score of
80. Captain Lawler lead the way with 75, newcomer “Top Cop” Tim ticketed a 77
and Goetzke rolled in with a 79. All very respectable early season scores!
The
one player to not crack 80 (or even 90) was McKay; he whimpered around the
course in a 91. He hit his ball “all over God’s green earth” stated a nameless
playing partner. Not only did his round displease Capt Lawler and all but
cement his spot as “el número diez”, but it cost him a wallet full of cash.
Although
it is unknown exactly how much money burned its way out of McKay’s pockets, it
is estimated at around $50. A double blow out loss to The Law cost $20, losses
to both Fuzzy and Goat cost $10 each and a team bet loss $10 more. Hopefully
McKay did not take part in a skins or pins game!
NGAWire
Note – The NGA is not accountable for any inaccuracies in the above recap.
Nagy/Woods Plus $10
For 2007
NGAWire®
26Mar07
Yesterday
Tiger Woods netted victory in the CA Championship at Doral, a World Golf
Championship event. His final total of 278 (-10) bettered that of Phil
Mickelson by 10 shots. This win increases the lead of Team Nagy/Woods to $10
over Team Kurncz/Mickelson.
Maybe
Team Kurncz/Mickelson can turn it around at Augusta in two weeks?
Homeless In Detroit
Hungry No More
NGAWire®
22Mar07
The
plight of the homeless men, women and children in Detroit has been a long time
problem with no immediate end in sight.
One
man has decided to take the issue head on. His name is Andy Kurncz. Kurncz, a
resident of Fenton and president of the KGAM, has decided to make this March
“Give Girl Scout Cookies to Homeless” month.
“I
have always had a place in my heart for the down-and-out and less fortunate.
Every time I head to the
Kurncz
has been handing out boxes of Girl Scout cookies to wandering Detroiters for
the past two weeks. He is planning to distribute $150 worth of these scrumptious
treats throughout the Motor City.
“Nothing
beats the look on the face of someone when I hand them the cookies. They seem
somewhat puzzled at first, but once they notice it is a box of Thin Mints, pure
joy overcomes them.”
Many
have said they the world today is a heartless and cruel place to live. Not true
if you live on the streets in Detroit.
NOTE
– The homeless are not the only one’s benefiting form this good will. The KGAM
is able to unload the additional quantities of Girl Scout cookies it has on hand
(due to a botched ordering plan) and take a charitable contribution tax break
in 2007. Looks like a win-win for everyone!
2007
NGAWire®
19Mar07
Today
the KGAM announced that it has narrowed down the location for the 2007
Andy
Kurncz, president of the KGAM, announced that the 2007 event will be played
somewhere within a 150 mile distance from any of the Great Lakes.
As
an elementary school refresher, the lakes include Lake Superior (the largest by
volume and deepest, larger than Scotland or South Carolina), Lake Michigan (the
second-largest by volume and third-largest by area; the only one entirely in
the U.S.), Lake Huron (the third-largest by volume; the second largest in
area), Lake Erie (the smallest by volume and most shallow of all the great
lakes) and Lake Ontario (the second-smallest in volume and smallest in area,
much lower elevation than the rest).
When
asked if he thought that Lake St. Clair should be included as a Great Lake,
Kurncz stated “Its approximate size of 430 square miles is relatively small in
comparison to the other five Great Lakes. In no way whatsoever do I consider it
great.”
Insiders
at the KGAM have leaked word that “humdinger” and “treat” have been heard
describing the plans about the 2007
Lawler Produces
Another Winner
NGAWire®
14Mar07
Yesterday
afternoon long time NGA member Steve Lawler and his wonderful wife Holly gave
birth to their 3rd child. Logan Fields Lawler popped out of Holly’s belly at
4:10pm, weighing in at 8 lbs, 8 oz (3.85 kg) and 21.5 inches (54.61 cm) long.
Sister
Mazie and brother Ashton are happy with the new Lawler. Kurt Goetzke and Dan
McKay are not; Logan will surely give them both a run for the final spot on
Team Greystone.
Mother
Holly is said to be doing well, less the horrifically excruciating pain she is
feeling in her reproductive region.
Congratulations
Holly and Steve!
Lemmon Victorious In
2007 CJI
NGAWire®
1Mar07
This
past weekend Chris Lemmon cruised to victory in the 2007 Claret Jug
Invitational. Lemmon score of 287 beat 2nd place contestant Karl Nagy by a
whopping 39 points.
Lemmon,
who posted rounds of 83, 82, 80 and 89, struggled with his tee ball the entire
tournament. His putter was also bulky at times with 9 three-putts, but his 10
birdies offset those mistakes. Lemmon, an ex-Big Ten standout, was able to
grind out holes and avoid mental mistakes; something his competition was not
able.
Nagy
was saddled with feeble tee ball and an unwieldy putter the entire CJI. His
opening rounds of 89, 85 and 92 placed him in third place, one shot back of
second. However, not one to throw in the towel, his final round gut check of 95
secured him the runner-up spot. Nagy’s best day putting came courtesy of his
trusty SW.
The
third contestant was Ron Clifton. He posted rounds of 94, 97 and 111 before
opting for fun golf from the white tees the final round, therefore DQ’ing
himself from the CJI. Clifton’s game lacked practice and stability. His performance
on the greens was commendable, but he was in no form for competitive golf.
All
players enjoyed much beer and a good time.
NOTE
– The NGA has confirmed that its first venture into publication will occur this
fall with the release “30 Days to a Putter Free Bag”. Look for it in bookstores
and news stands beginning in September.
Goetzke, McKay Hopeful
Team Greystone Team Play Members
NGAWire®
22Feb07
In
a surprise move earlier this week, it was announced that long time NGA members
Kurt Goetzke and Dan McKay have been selected to once again vie for the final
spots on the 2007 Team Greystone MPGA team.
Goetzke
and McKay were members of the 2006 team, however due to lack of skill did not
contribute diddly last season. It was assumed that McKay was going to quit the
team and concentrate less on golf and Goetzke was just going to be released.
As
per an unnamed member of the Team Greystone hierarchy, both players have been
asked to once again join the team to fill in positions 9 and 10.
“Kurt
and Dan are good guys and deserve this opportunity” the source was quoted.
“Playing good golf is not everything. We felt sorry for them.”
It
turns out that Greystone’s off-season search for new players was unsuccessful.
Candidates Andy Kurncz, Todd “Piper” Statetzny and Bozo the Clown all declined
the offer.
Former ROY In Big
Trouble
NGAWire®
18Feb07
Former
2005
Determined
to work out his problem, Pretzer (the 2006
The
balls that he did not shank were worm-burned out into the range. Not one shot
was hit with anything that could be considered proper ball flight.
After
all balls were hit, a dejected Pretzer went to the putting green to practice
putt… where he proceeded to shank his first one.
*
In a shank, it is the hosel of the club that first contacts the ball. Since the
hosel is rounded, the ball might shoot off in just about any direction with
various spins. But most commonly, a shank results in a ball that shoots out to
the right (for a right-hander) at a severe angle. Someone who shanks a lot
might be said to "have the shanks" or to be "shanking it."
A shank is one of the worst mis-hits in golf; in fact, many golfers don't even
like saying the word out loud.
2007 CJI Field Set,
Handicaps And Targets Released
NGAWire®
15Feb07
The
NGA has finalized the field for the 2007 Claret Jug Invitational scheduled for
Myrtle Beach, SC on February 23-25, 2007. The field includes defending CJI
champion Karl Nagy (Simpsonville, SC) and runner–up Ronald Clifton (Richland,
MI), along with CJI rookie Chris Lemmon (Richmond, VA).
The
handicaps and target number for the players have been determined and are as
follows:
Karl
Nagy, handicap 7, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34
Ron
Clifton, handicap 17, GIR 5, FW 6, putts 36
Chris
Lemmon, handicap 5, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34
Players
earn additional deductions to their score by bettering their target numbers for
greens hit, fairways hit and total putts per round. Further bonuses are given
for birdies, eagles and sand saves.
This
year’s CJI will be a 72 hole event. The scheduled courses include Myrtle Beach
National (Southcreek), Legends (Heathland and Parkland) and Prestwick.
In
the inaugural 2006 CJI last summer, Nagy dispatched an overwhelmed Clifton in
short order 217 (69-74-74) to 241 (81-92-68). Nagy, the favorite again, hopes
to make nippy work of both Lemmon and Clifton.
“If
there is one thing I am good at it is CJI!” stated Nagy. “This type of
tournament sets up perfectly for my strengths of greens and fairways, and
making a bushel of putts.”
NGA Announces Zero
Inductees To
NGAWire®
2Feb07
The
Nagyhills Golf Association® made the announcement last evening during its
winter meetings in
The
leading candidate for induction, 2006
Raden,
a three time
“What
in the world do I have to do to make this stupid Hall of Fame?” barked Raden.
“First I win in 2001, and then again in 2002. I win my third in 2006 and they
still don’t induct me. They can all go straight to hell!”
Raden’s
35 points was followed by Steve Lawler (24), Ron Clifton (22), Karl Nagy (21),
Louis Song (21) and Andy Kurncz (16).
All
but Kurncz are past
NOTE
– Kurncz’s point total bested three current NGA members and past
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