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CJI
Dates, Location Set
NGAWire® 10Dec07
The dates and location of the 2008 CJI have been determined. It will take place in Myrtle Beach, SC from March
7-9, 2008. All other information is TBD.
Liar,
Liar
NGAWire® 16Nov07
Yesterday San Francisco’s #1 liar was indicted for perjury and
obstruction of justice. It seems as
though Mister Monster Head lied under oath 19 times during his 2003 BALCO federal
grand jury testimony.
United States Penitentiary inmate Jamal “Two Finger” Brown states that
he will welcome Bonds to his Leavenworth, Kansas cell “by jamming two fingers
up his cornhole”. Brown also added that
after the first two inches, it is all bowels.
Enjoy prison jerk.
Breakfast
For Lunch
NGAWire® 15Nov07
Today Karl Nagy enjoyed lunch at the local Waffle House (1509 Hwy 101
South, Greer, SC 29651). It was
delicious.
McKay
Uncorks At Bowling Alley
NGAWire® 14Nov07
HGA Contributing Reporter, Danny McKay
Last Thursday during our Howie's bowling league, our team "Bad News
Balls" (Kurt, Steve, Shenkosky and I) was in a tough match against the
President of the company team. We had
won the first game by 47 pins. We then
lost the second game by 25 pins. Now in
the third game, after three frames it was not looking good.
Ever the competitors, Kurt and I were trying our hardest to find
something, anything to pull out a win. I
threw my first ball and thought it was perfect, but when it hit the pins and
left an 8-10 split. I was furious and
upon walking back swung my left fist at the ball return. CRACK.
Immediately I knew something was wrong.
My fingers went numb. The
numbness was followed by pain, a lot of pain.
I stood motionless for a moment hoping that it would be fine, but I was
wrong. I then grabbed my ball and threw
it, missing the spare.
Unfortunately now, not only was I in pain, but we continued to get
throttled. When the smoke cleared we had
lost the last game and totals. No one on
the team was happy.
On the way home I tried steering the wheel with my sore hand, not a
great idea. When turning onto 14 Mile
the wheel caught my pinky finger bending it slightly… I can honestly say it was
some of the worst pain I have ever felt.
I then called Kim to tell her I was on the way home. I told her my hand was killing me and what
had happened. She called me an
"idiot and that I shouldn't be punching sh!t". I thanked her for the advice and hung up.
When I got home the swelling was bad.
I tried to elevate it to keep the pressure down. I was able to sleep off and on, but the pain
was kind of bad.
Over the next few days it was painful, but I wanted to make it through
the weekend and see how it healed. On
Monday, I called and made a doctor’s appointment to have my monthly blood test
for my blood thinner and a look at the hand.
Before I left for the appointment today Kim asked me to let the Doc know
about my hand. So I promised.
At the appointment he looked the hand over and said we needed an
X-ray. When the pics were done he
brought them into the room and broke the bad news. My hand was broken. He showed me the break just behind my left
pinky knuckle. My first words:
"You're not putting a cast on it".
He protested and told me that I should.
This way he could guarantee that I don't try to swing a golf club. I asked him what other options he had. He then produced a splint and a roll of tape. After a couple minutes, I had a makeshift
splint, and he had a promise that I would not do anything to it for 6 weeks.
Needless to say I feel like an idiot.
But I have learned a valuable lesson.
When you're losing in bowling, do not punch the ball return. You can break your hand.
My rehab for the 2008 CJI, Guldahl and
NOTE – This article was issued to “set the record straight before the
rumor mill blows it out of proportion”.
Labor
At Candlestone
NGAWire® 13Nov07
Today Andy Kurncz fired 44-46-90 and his brother Mark Chapman 44-46-90
at Candlestone GC in Belding, MI.
This was Chapman’s first official round of the year. He played in the famed Glenhurst Spring
Scramble tourney early in the year, but that was a team event. Chapman started today’s round with a par.
Kurncz stated that golf makes him tired.
He thinks golf would be better played as a 12 hole round, with 3 warm-up
holes to start and 3 cool down holes to finish.
Dancing
Fool
NGAWire® 6Nov07
This past weekend was the big Michigan versus Michigan State football
game. Andy Kurncz and his wife Cori were
enjoying the game in their Fenton home.
With MSU holding a 24-14 lead, Cori confidently stated that U of M was
still going to win the game. Andy asked
her if she would like to put a little wager on her statement.
Andy offered that if Michigan State held on and won, she would have to
perform a striptease for him the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. But if Michigan came back, he would have to
sign up for ballroom dancing classes with her.
The final score was Michigan 28, Michigan State 24.
Ring
Around The Rosy, Cup Full Of Posy
NGAWire® 5Nov07
The fabled Ralph Guldahl Memorial Trophy is currently being used as a
receptacle for flowers.
This disturbing picture was taken at a home in Clawson, MI.
The NGA does not condone this usage of the cup nor the multitude of
debauchery pictured with it.
Dog
Days Of Fall
NGAWire® 2Nov07
WOOF – Yesterday the NGA received an urgent message from Ron Clifton
requesting DVM advice. It had appeared
to Clifton that his puppy dog Pluto had swallowed the metal portion of a twin
razor blade. All that was found on the
floor was the plastic housing.
Clifton rushed his dog to the local veterinary hospital were it was
determined that Pluto indeed had eaten the razor blade.
Should Pluto be allowed to try and pass the blade through his system, in
hope that his stomach, intestines and anal regions would not become a butchered
mess or to put him under the expensive, yet more reliable surgical knife of a
veterinary handyman?
Clifton chose surgery and his doggie is resting fine. “We dodged a huge bullet today!” texted
Clifton.
Upon receiving the bill, he also added “We just repurchased Pluto $$$$
again!”
WOFF, WOOF – Last Friday, on the way home from work, the NGA gave a call
to Andy Kurncz to see how things were going.
Kurncz stated that he and his family were at Payless Shoes in Twelve
Oaks enjoying Bogo. He bragged that
after buying shoes, the family was off to Olga’s Kitchen for dinner. A large order of Snackers and an Original
Olga was in his future.
I complained that it was not fair for him to enjoy Olga’s while his
buddy in the south could not. In a show
of good gesture, Kurncz promised to send me a picture of his meal.
Two hours had past and no picture.
The NGA was worried and gave him a call.
Kurncz stated that things had changed and he was now on his way
home. No Olga’s Kitchen for him – no
Snackers or Original Olga. He complained
his belly was hungry.
It seems as though the Kurncz family had meandered into a mall pet
store. $500 later they were on their way
home with a new dog.
“I guess it will be crappy pizza tonight” exclaimed a bewildered Kurncz.
Raden
Is #1 in 2008… Or Is McKay?
NGAWire® 25Oct07
Earlier this week (10/23/07 at 12:11pm) the NGA released its plans for
the 2008
That same day (1:19pm), the NGA received the first 2008
Unfortunately for Raden, his PayPal payment is still currently at an
UNCLEARED status. The expected clearing
date of his payment is tomorrow, 10/26/07.
Today,
This now begs the question, who is the 1st entrant for the 2008
Section 19-22 of the NGA’s Guide to Running a Successful Tournament
states – An entry is only considered official when the required payment is
received. Entries with partial payment
or lacking payment are considered void.
Move over Raden, Dan McKay is the first entrant in the 2008
2007
NGAWire® 1Oct07
Karl Nagy, 2007
At the turn – After a solid par on 9, I was happy to be only 2 down
going to the back nine against putting manic Goetzke. What I was not happy with was the service in
the clubhouse for two Gatorades – it took 15 minutes to pay for them, plus I
left my favorite golf towel on the counter.
Stupid Canadians! [Goetzke 38,
Nagy 40]
10th hole (par 4) – I figured that driver was the perfect club and hit
an easy one to the right center of the fairway.
Goetzke decided that driver was perfect too and hit a high flare right –
luckily he missed it way right of all the junk.
My approach came up short on the fringe and I didn’t chip it close
enough, but Kurt was busy hitting a tree and pitching long of the pin; he did
make another long one for double. All
was well. Lead down to one. [Goetzke 44,
Nagy 45]
11th hole (par 3) – After McKay stole the tee and hit a 6-iron just left
and long, I knew my 7 was perfect. I hit
it at the right edge of the left bunker, but I didn’t see it land. I figured it was just long. Upon reaching the green, my ball was
nowhere. After some searching, I headed
back to the tee. I remember thinking
what a long, stupid, dirty cart ride this was to that misplaced tee. I hoped on to be killed by the golfers teeing
off on 18. I pulled my second 7-iron
under a tree, dubbed one into the bunker, splashed out and mindlessly three
putted, all the while my buddy Kurt was pitching and putting for par. In a blink of an eye, I just lost 5
shots. I was in big trouble now. [Goetzke 47, Nagy 53]
12th hole (par 5) – Goetzke had the tee and hit his 3-iron way
left. I pulled out driver, even though
Kurt said there was no room to hit it, I needed to smack something very
badly. I aimed left and unleashed. The ball ended perfect at the 150 yard
marker, but I failed to get my 2nd all the way up to the perched green and only
made par. Goetzke gleefully found his
tee ball and reached the green in three, but he left his tough downhill putt
short (thanks Dan and Ron for scaring him) and missed the par attempt. Finally a miss by Goat! [Goetzke 53, Nagy 58]
13th hole (par 4) – My head was finally cleared again and I told myself
all was not lost. I smoked my driver
perfect (again). Unfortunately my
approach was pulled and missed left. My
recovery pitch wasn’t good enough. Bogey
for me. Goetzke was busy hacking down
the entire right side of the hole, but came away with bogey as well. No blood.
[Goetzke 58, Nagy 63]
14th hole (par 4) – I ripped another drive dead center and a good 9-iron
left me 8 feet for birdie. Goetzke said
he hit a great drive, but we couldn’t find it.
After a long search, he found it on his way back to the teebox. His ball was 20 yards behind McKay’s, not 25
ahead. Nice! Unfortunately for him he smoked his 2nd way
over the green into some shrubbery. I
thought to myself that maybe this was my chance? After finding his ball, Kurt’s third just got
it out of the deep stuff; he then pitched it long of the green, fatted one,
then wedged to 10-12 feet and rolled the putt in (of course) for triple. Before I attempted by birdie, I switched my
grip to cross-handed and played the ball off my left toe. I was putting so badly, I figured it couldn’t
hurt. I hit a good putt, but misread the
amount of break. Nonetheless, I picked
up three shots. [Goetzke 65, Nagy 67]
15th hole (par 3) – Driver was too much, so I tried to smoke hook a
2-iron, but toe dubbed it 70 yards from the green. Poor Goetzke’s tee ball ended up on a tree
stump balanced on some pieces of crap wood.
No chance for par. He squibed his
shot behind the green and couldn’t get it up and down. I hit a real good 2nd to about 8 feet, but
missed it to tie the lead. [Goetzke 70,
Nagy 71]
16th hole (par 4) – I hit another drive perfectly and a solid approach
30 feet pin high left. Goetzke was again
all over the place and reach the green in three. I decided to hit the putt with my SW for
better speed, but I left it six feet shy.
It was more uphill than I thought.
I hit another good cross handed putt (to tie the lead), but I missed
again. Goetzke must have felt sorry for
me and slow lipped out his tiny putt for bogey.
Somehow all was squared. [Goetzke
76, Nagy 76]
17th hole (par 3) – A tough hole.
I hit a steered 6-iron to the right back (safe side) of the green. Big relief.
Goetzke hit his tee ball on a better line, but near the water left. Kurt chipped close with his rescue and I hit
a real good first putt and made a man-maker 3 footer for par. [Goetzke 79, Nagy 79]
18th hole (par 5) – I pumped a real good driver to just around the 200
yard marker. Kurt hit a good 3-iron off
the tee and another long iron just short of a greenside bunker. SkyCaddie said I had 205 yards to the middle
of the green. I planned to play a high
fade over the trees, but I swung a bit hard and the ball went straight and unluckily
ended in a fairway bunker. I had about
60 yards over another trap to the green.
I thought about playing around the sand, but figured if I hit a good one
the pressure would be back on Kurt. I
caught too much ball and I went over the green into a hazard. I took my drop and pitched to 10
feet-ish. Kurt dumped his 3rd into a
bunker, but hit a good sand shot to 5 feet.
I knew I needed to make mine for any chance and poured it in. I still figured Goetzke would make his, but
no. His putt lost its speed and missed
low. Playoff time. [Goetzke 85, Nagy 85]
Playoff 1: 18th hole (par 5) – Goetzke went first and hit an ugly 3-iron
short and right. I hit my worst drive of
the day, longer than him, but right too.
I figured a 9-iron would get me to around 100 yards, but fatted it to
150. An easy 9-iron from 150 was a perfect
third, but I patched it again, just short of Goetzke’s bunker. I really wasn’t paying attention, but somehow
Goetzke finally reached the green in four.
My pitch from short of the bunker was on bear ground, but I was fairly
confident I could hit it close. I was
wrong and dumped it into the trap. I hit
the sand shot to 8 feet and made the putt for bogey. Kurt now had to make his lag from 4 feet to
extend things. He poured it in.
Playoff 2: 1st hole (par 5) – Goetzke choose his driver – as long as he
hit it solid, he’d be fine. He didn’t
and hit a high, weak ball right into a hazard.
I ripped my driver dead center to under 200 yards. Big advantage me. After a drop next to the garbage, Kurt ripped
a rescue 250+ yards to 20 yards short.
Nice recovery pal. I picked a
7-iron for my second to avoid going long and hit it to the front fringe. Goetzke told me he was going to get up and
down and wedged it to 6 feet. My 8-iron
chip and run stopped 10 feet short and my putt to win the damn thing missed
low. I thought with the aerated green,
Kurt may miss, maybe, maybe. Nope.
Playoff 3: 2nd hole (par 4) – Kurt ripped a 6-iron over the edge of the
trees perfect. My 6-iron was pushed
right, almost OB, but ended safe. My 2nd
went long and left while Kurt put his in the center of the green. I was in trouble. I needed to get up and down, but should have
picked a PW instead of SW and thinned it over into another bunker. My bunker shot rolled outside Kurt’s approach
and all was done. Kurt was the winner.
2007
NGAWire® 27Sep07
Kurt Goetzke, 2007
As the Back Nine started, I was pretty confident...had not hit the ball
great on the Front Nine, but still had managed a 38 with some ridiculous
putting...was a little down because I left a 5 foot putt woefully short on 9
for a 37, showing a little nerve and tentativeness...A very bad decision on my
tee ball (hitting Driver) on Number 10 lead to a punch out and a SW that came
up short and hit a tree short and right of the green...a pitch across the green
and a painful just missed bogey putt from 15 feet led to double bogey...I had
given back a stroke right out of the gate on the back nine...then came the
turning point hole of the entire day...After Dan hit a 6 iron slightly long and
left, I pulled (literally and figuratively) a 7 iron...it hit the edge of the
bunker and kicked right into a great spot just off the green...Nagy then struck
a 7 Iron as well and hit what appeared to be a fine, majestic shot just a bit
left (looked like it would be right about where mine was)...after looking for 5
minutes, Nagy's ball was NOWHERE to be seen and had to return to the tee where
he proceeded to card an 8...Most awful break I have ever seen...I pitched to 4
feet or so and made the putt, making up 5 strokes on Karl and taking a
seemingly insurmountable 6 shot lead...I made a bogey on 12 (three putting) and
followed that up with a bogey on 13...then the fun began...I hit my best drive
of the day on 14 (which is not saying much), and then we commenced to
looking...we looked everywhere and when it appeared all was lost and I was
turning the cart back to the tee, I found my ball on the edge of the fairway,
just in the rough...we all agreed I could hit the ball, but feeling stupid
about the whole situation, I kind of quick hit a 7 iron from about 190
(downwind) and it hit over the green and went deep into the woods...I then hit
a provisional 8 iron on the BACK of the green...we found my ball, but it was a
tough shot...I got it out short, but then skulled the next shot off hardpan
into the fairway...I then dumped my chip about 2 feet in front of me and then
pitched to 15 feet straight downhill...I then MADE the putt for a 7, losing 3
strokes to Karl...On 15 I hit a 3 Wood pin high left, but, tragically, it was
against the stump of a cut down tree and against a piece of bark that would
have caused my ball to move if I moved it...I chipped sideways and then chipped
to about 15 feet and missed for a double...On 16 I hit 3 IRON, 5 IRON, and
chipped to about 25 after a horrible bounce right...I left the putt 4 feet
short and then had the worst lip out of the trip for another double
bogey...Karl missed a short putt for par and we were then, all of a sudden,
TIED again going to the treacherous 17th...I hit a solid punch trap draw 5 Iron
to about pin high left, where I then Rescue putted to 3 feet and made it for
par...Nagy also pared and we moved on to 18 still tied...I smoked a 3 Iron down
the middle, but in a terrible lie...I forced a solid cut 4 iron up in front of
the green, but on a downhill hardpan lie...Nagy had hit left and long in the
fairway bunker with an impossible shot and when he caught too much ball and hit
it way into the hazard long, I had an opening...I considered chipping sideways,
but felt I could get under it enough to get it somewhere on the green...NOT
Pee
Pee Drip Deemed No Problem
NGAWire® 25Sep07
During the 3rd round of the 2007
While waiting to hit their tee shots on the par 3 #14 at St Clair
Parkway GC, a urinating Karl Nagy asked his playing partners if they had a
problem with dripping urine after completion of a “draining the main
vein”. They agreed that this has become
a recent problem for each – much to their relief.
One unnamed player stated that he had sought medical advice for this
problem. “I though my bladder was
finished!” he declared. “It is good to
see we are all in the same boat.”
Talk then twisted to prostate exams, fingers up the anus, teaching young
sons to “tap” the penis and wet underwear stories before finally revering back
to golf.
Goetzke
Crowned 2007
NGAWire® 24Sep07
In one of the closest battles in
The final round started with Nagy leading by 1 over Goetzke and 6 over
Ron Clifton. Handicap differential
placed all three players in a dead heat with each other.
After the front nine on Sunday, only Nagy and Goetzke remained in
contention. Goetzke took a two shot lead
into the back and increased it to six with help of a Nagy quadruple bogey on
11, but a Goetzke stretch of triple-double-double squared things up with two to
play.
Both players made good pars on the difficult par 3 #17 to keep things
level. After messing up their third
shots on the par 5 #18, both players began to scramble, Nagy from a hazard and
Goetzke from a bunker. Good recovery
efforts by both and a holed 12 footer by Nagy left Goetzke 5 feet from the
title, unfortunately the putt missed low.
All was tied after regulation.
The players went back and played 18 as the first playoff hole. Less than spectacular drives and approach
shots left both players short of the green in three. Goetzke smartly played his fourth onto the
green, while Nagy patched his shot into a sand bunker. Nagy gamely got his ball up and in for a
bogey six and Goetzke two putted, holing a slippery four footer, to extend the
playoff.
On the par 5 #1, Goetzke flared his drive high and right into a
hazard. After a penalty drop, Goetzke
smashed his rescue club 20 yards from the green. Nagy hit his second onto the fringe, but
failed to get up and down and settled for par.
Goetzke pitched from just short of the green to 8 feet and rolled his
putt home to tie the hole.
The battle finally ended on the par 4 #2. A weak tee ball and approach shot over the
green left Nagy with an impossible up and down chance. Goetzke, soundly in the heart of the green
after two good irons, was in control.
Nagy proceeded to thin his third over the green into a bunker, and then
splashed number four back across onto the fringe. A Nagy lag putt past the cup left Goetzke
with three putts for the win.
The final results of the 2007
1 Kurt Goetzke 74-70-77-75 296 (+12)
2 Karl Nagy 76-70-74-76 296 (+12)
3 Ron Clifton 81-77-68-78 304 (+20)
4 Steve Lawler 80-77-77-77 311 (+27)
5 Dan McKay 92-68-72-83 315 (+31)
6T Jeff Pretzer 79-80-78-83 320 (+36)
6T Andy Kurncz 80-88-80-72 320 (+36)
8 Bruce Kruckeberg 93-80-70-83 326 (+42)
9 Jim Hartigan 86-77-81-83 327 (+43)
10 Jeff Longeway 86-78-85-84 333 (+49)
11 Tim O'Connor 86-86-77-86 335 (+51)
12 Coree Raden 93-82-87-91 353 (+69)
13 Brent Pretzer 87-84-85-110 366 (+82)
Congratulations to Kurt Goetzke, the 2007
BTW – The 2007
2007
NGAWire® 18Sep07
The 2007
Not since Jeff Pretzer “Arrive, Survive, Stay Alive” campaign and
victory in 2005 will a ROY be crowned.
The last
Here is a look at this year’s rookies:
Jim Hartigan (handicap 3) – Jim looks to be the most powerful rookie in
the field. His solid and consistent
game, plus love for caffeine, will prove beneficial over the long haul. Jim’s participation and experience as a
playing marker at the 2005
Brent Pretzer (handicap 6) – Brent is a cagey competitor. If backed into a corner, he will go for your
jugular. However, golf courses do not
have corners and Brent will not be a factor.
Tim O’Connor (handicap 2) – Tim is one of the most gifted players in the
field. His hands are large. However Tim’s low handicap and the fact that
we will be coming off playing four consecutive days of tiresome tournament golf
will be detrimental.
Unfortunately for all rookies, their allotted handicap strokes will
prove a great hindrance in trying to capture the prized
Woods
And Nagy Win Tour Championship
NGAWire® 17Sep07
This past weekend Tiger Woods won the
Woods’ total of -23 under par won him $1,260,000 and a $10,000,000
retirement annuity and Karl Nagy $5.
Phil Mickelson piss poor total of -5 earned him $134,400 and Andy Kurncz
$0.
In all likelihood, this will be the final official
An item description of “2007 Tiger/Phil Season Bet” with the amount of
$10 will be entered in the Andy Kurncz Fees Excel file as another owed item.
Say It
Ain’t So Big Blue!
NGAWire® 4Sep07
This past weekend, NCAA college football powerhouse and perennial
national title contender University of Michigan pissed away its season.
The mighty Wolverines were defeated by the Appalachian State
Mountaineers on Saturday, 34 – 32, at the Big House in Ann Arbor, MI. Many football experts nation wide consider
this one of the biggest upsets in college football history.
NGA’s own Dan McKay was heard on a phone message stating “We lost. We lost.
We lost. We lost. We lost.
We lost.”
Can U of M really salvage anything this season? A win over Ohio State would be nice, but even
if Lloyd’s team goes undefeated the rest of the way, this year is a loss.
Way to go ASU! Way to go!
Lucky
Mickelson Beats Dehydrated Woods
NGAWire® 3Sep07
Yesterday Phil Mickelson won the Douche Bag Championship by two over
Tiger Woods.
The win by Mickelson/Kurncz reduces the Woods/Nagy lead to a $25 to $20
margin.
2011
NGAWire® 21Aug07
The 2011
The first tee shot of this historic
Mark your calendar and remind your wife!
Woods
Wins 2007
NGAWire® 12Aug07
Today Tiger Woods won the 2007
Woods’ win increases Karl Nagy’s lead in the season long Woods/Mickelson
wager over Andy Kurncz to $25 to $10 margin.
With only FedEx tournaments left for Tiger and the fact that Phil is a
muscle, Nagy is looking add to his total in the next month.
Cheater
Hits Homer 756, No One Cares
NGAWire® 8Aug07
Last night, the big cheater and steroid user living in San Francisco hit
MLB career record home run number 756.
Way to go Barry, you big jerk.
Woods
Wins, Nagy Wins, Kurncz Still A Loser
NGAWire® 7Aug07
This past weekend Tiger Woods netted his fourth victory of the
season. His total of -8 won him
$1,350,000 and Karl Nagy $5.
Woods defeated rival Phil Mickelson by 21 shots. Mickelson’s sorry total of +13 earned him
$44,500 and Andy Kurncz $0.
Nagy/Woods lead the season long wager by a total of $20 (4 victories) to
$10 (1 victory) over Mickelson/Kurncz.
Odds are that Nagy/Woods win again this week at the
Adiós
Team Greystone II
NGAWire® 6Aug07
Dan McKay and Kurt Goetzke played their last official Publinx match
yesterday as part of Team Greystone II.
They posted a pair of 90's and took a combined total of zero points.
Their loss is going to leave a giant hole on the team’s lineup. Replacing a pair like this is not going to be
easy for team captain Steve Lawler. One
could make the comparison to the U.S. Ryder Cup Team losing the likes of Tiger Woods
and Phil Mickelson.
When asked what the future holds for the HGA golfing duo, they replied
"We are going to form our own team with Andy Kurncz as our captain and
have some fun again."
With a nucleus of Kurncz, Goetzke and McKay, the new Publinx team looks
to off to a tremendous start.
McKay
Enjoys Ice Cream Cone
NGAWire® 3Aug07
Today at lunch Dan McKay enjoyed an ice cream cone.
Oh No
Purple Toe
NGAWire® 31Jul07
This morning before work, Karl Nagy accidentally ran into the living
room couch. Ouch! His 2nd toe on the right foot paid the
supreme price.
No golf league for Karl tonight.
O
Canada
NGAWire® 31Jul07
O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North, strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
And
The Name Is… 2007 Gala!
NGAWire® 31Jul07
The LBGAM has released the name of its upcoming tournament. It will be called the 2007 Gala. Let the excitement begin!
LBGAM
Beats KGAM To Punch,
NGAWire® 31Jul07
Lack of information regarding the 2007
Angered by the lack of KGAM information, the LBGAM has scheduled its own
tournament for the same time period as the
The schedule of play for the LBGAM event (tournament name is under
discussion) has been released.
Rd 1, Thur 9/20, 9:00a, St Clair
Parkway GC
Rd 2, Fri 9/21, 8:00a, Firerock
GC
Rd 3, Fri 9/21, 1:00p, Cardoc
Sands GC
Rd 4, Sat 9/22, 10:00a, Sawmill
Creek GC
Rd 5, Sun 9/23, 9:00a, Sarnia
G&CC
Included in the LBGAM entry is free tournament housing at the Lawler
Family Retreat Compound in Sarnia, Ontario.
“The KGAM has always been a shoddy organization” states LBGAM President
Steve Lawler. “I feel bad that the NGA
was hoodwinked by Kurncz and company once again, but you can only take a horse
to water so many times. Maybe the HGA
and WMGA can revitalize the
Of the five players committed to participate in the
NGAWire® 26Jul07
With less than 56 days until the 2007
Nonetheless, the players that have entered are the heart and soul of the
Dan McKay, #1 entry, handicap 10 – Past
Coree Raden, #2, handicap 0 – Past
Karl Nagy, #3, handicap 9 – Past
Ron Clifton, #4, handicap 15 – Past
Mark D’Antonio, #5, handicap 7 – Past
What an exciting
I Ate
The Pounder
NGAWire® 24Jul07
Yesterday NGA’s own Andy Kurncz ate the pounder.
During his lunch with fellow MicroMotion co-workers at Cheeburger
Cheeburger in Livonia, MI, Andy and fellow colleague Dan decided they would
take on the semi-famous “Our Famous Pounder” 20oz pre-cooked hamburger.
“The first half went down like nothing” declared Andy. The second was a bit more of a
challenge. “I really had to pace myself
eating the 2nd half pound.”
Not only did both men finish their burgers, but they also consumed a
basket of Frings and large drinks. Their
efforts obtained them each an “I ATE THE POUNDER” t-shirt and a photo of
themselves holding a massive burger was taken and adorns the restaurant’s wall
of fame.
Noted Andy, “What we ate was equivalent to five Quarter Pounder’s
w/Cheese.”
Battle
At Washtenaw Headlines FoMoCo And Platinum Drywall
NGAWire® 13Jul07
The age old question of company supremacy will again be up for test
today. Ford Motor Company’s own Matt
Maser and Mark D’Antonio will be hosting Platinum Drywall’s Jeff Pretzer and
Steve Lawler in a golfing mêlée on the grounds of Washtenaw CC in Ann Arbor,
MI.
Matt Maser (1997
Jeff Pretzer (2006
Good luck to both teams!
The NGA graciously provides the below translation for Platinum Drywall
associates and southern immigrants country wide.
La cuestión histórica de la supremacía de la compañía estará otra vez
para arriba para la prueba hoy. Maser
Matie y marca mates D' Antonio Marque de la Compañía del Motor de Ford propio
recibirán a Pretzer Jefe de Drywall del Platino y Lawler Seban en un mêlée
golfing sobre la base de Washtenaw CC en Ann Arbor, MI.
Maser Matie (campeón de 1997
Pretzer Jefe (2006 lugar de
¡Buena suerte a ambos equipos!
Dew
Sweeping
NGAWire® 9Jul07
NGA Contributing Reporter, Coree Raden
Dew sweeping at 7AM is a beautiful thing.
My round Sunday Morning began at 6:47 AM on the Red Nine at Saskatoon
golf club. Surprisingly the course was
buzzing with activity, another single was teeing off on the White nine
(although he was riding), a foursome was waiting for him to clear on the same
nine. I had a twosome walking behind me
that as soon as I hit my second shot on the first hole was firing away. I quickly walked up to the green and two
putted for my par. In a hurry went to
the next tee trying to build a gap between myself and the next group. After the second hole I couldn’t see them
anymore but, assumed they were approaching the tee so, I had a one hole cushion
built up. I kept up the pace, and
walking down the 5th hole (easiest par 5 on the course which I bogeyed), I saw
them just beginning to approach the second green. Not sure how I built a 2+ hole cushion that
fast but, I just kept motoring along.
Walking up the 9th hole I see the other single teeing off on the Blue
nine. So, I was about even with him
since he teed off and was in the fairway when I teed off.
Made the turn at 7:50 AM, moving across the street to the Gold
nine. Walked the first two holes of the
back nine and couldn’t see anyone else out there besides me, smooth sailing
ahead. As I teed off on the 12th hole as
I addressed the ball, I heard a driver impacting the ball on the second
hole. As I walked towards the tree I hit
on this par 3, I surveyed the situation and saw that it was a single golfer
riding with his dog running along side him.
In my mind I said okay let’s pick up the pace to stay ahead of him. 13th hole pulled my drive towards the woods,
as I was walking towards my ball and hoping it got kicked out, I watched to see
how fast he was playing he was moving along pretty good, walking off the second
green as I found my ball safely in the rough with only minor tree
troubles. Moving along quickly I
preceded to the finish the 14th hole and looked back and he was still on the
13th green. Hit a nice drive on the 15th
and hit my approach to 10 feet on this short par 5, missed the eagle of course. He was actually on the 15th tee as I finished
the hole. Quickly played through the
16th hole par 3 which I 3 putted for bogey.
As I arrived at my ball in the 17th fairway he was just approaching the
tee on 16. In my mind I relaxed and said
okay, I am not going to have to let him play through. Finished the last two holes with ho hum 2
putt pars. After returning to my bag on
the 18th green, I looked at my clock to see how fast I had played. It was 8:52.
So, 18 holes in 2:05. Actually 1
minute shy of my record round.
As much as I enjoy playing golf with friends, I also enjoy playing these
types of rounds where I can play 18 holes before 9 AM and still have the rest
of the day to do what I want. On a side
note, Karl can you update my low round to a +1 – 72 at Saskatoon Golf Club on
July 8, 2007.
Early
Morning Golf
NGAWire® 6Jul07
NGA Contributing Reporter, Ron Clifton
Last night I got the green light to play today. I was holding a KMGA
rain check from the Bob Milar, it was burning a hole in my pocket.
Puppy got me up at 5 am let him out fed him dressed out the door by
5:30. Arrive at Milham Park at 5:50 to a locked gate. 6:30 an early bird member
told me the gate usually doesn't open until nearly 7:00. Today was an early day
for the Milham staff the gate opened at 6:45. After unloading clubs and
preparing to play I learned the early bird retired Milham Membership is holding
the first 4 tee times. So I am the first of the back 9 at 7 am 1:15 after
arriving.
I had a magical 9 holes 7/8 fw, 1/9 greens, 14 putts for 41. A great
scrambling day. On 10 I hit my 3rd just to the back of the green had to chip
over a 2 inch water hose to a foot for a par. On 12 great sand save short sided
right bunker with pin tucked right. On 13 after sculling a 9 iron over the
green chipped low 7 iron from under a pine tree to 10 feet nearly made great
par, good bogey. Solid play until the drivable 277 yd (plays longer) 16th.
Piped 4 wood to 70 yds pin way in the front came over sw flew way over green by
50 yds down hill on hard pan by cart path nearly in the woods as the guy
cutting the green waits. I knock sw back 25 feet and drain it for par! He was
impressed he muttered and shook his head. Limped in bogey for my +4 41 on par
37 the last 2 holes always play tough. I attempted to go to the front, I played
in 1 hr 20 minutes but time didn't allow for me to post 18. I played 10 and 11
again and walked to the car at 9 am. Off to Wal-Mart, and then to GLCC for my
daughter's birthday party.
I realized I don't have the time nor patience to play much golf in a 4
some for 5 hrs. I love the flow I had dew sweeping the back 9 being the first
one to play it. Got to 18 before it was mowed :)
Not sure I got my money's worth for my 18 hole rain check only got 11 in
and not a postable 18 hole score. Learned I will never ever head to Milham
without a tee time. The 3 some leading off didn't want anyone joining them I
could tell I didn't bother asking.
After a relaxing afternoon at GLCC by the lake beach sand playground.
One day soon I may be a social CC member with hopefully a few free 18 hole
passes to use here and there. Time will tell. I know I will not be joining KMGA
Milham or Eastern any time soon.
Goetzke
Shows Good Form, Lawler Is Simply Better
NGAWire® 28Jun07
Last night Kurt Goetzke played good golf. His league night round of 36 (with a mere 11
putts) was a thing of mastery. Goetzke
finally seemed bound to win his $10 standing league bet against old rival Steve
Lawler.
Wrong! Goetzke was manhandled by
Lawler and lost 4&3.
Lawler bombardment Greystone GC’s difficult back nine in 31. His Tigeresque round included birdies on 10,
11, 12, 14 and 15; all others scores were pars.
Is Goetzke able to compete on the same playing field with the likes of
Lawler without handicap strokes? The
answer is no. Should Goetzke be proud of
his round and use it as a stepping stone to resurrect his crappy golf game in
hopes being somewhat competitive in time for the 2007
Rocky Road For Clifton At K’zoo Amateur
NGAWire® 25Jun07
This past weekend longtime NGA member
Ron Clifton competed in the 2007 Kalamazoo County Amateur.
He opened the tournament at Eastern
Hills GC.
"As for today I went to the Milham
Park Arts & Craft fair with the kids from 10-11, then Ginger took them for
the day. I got to Eastern Hills and heard about the 15 minute delay, ran
home quick to check on Pluto, then back for my routine, hit balls, chips,
putts, then waited for the actual 40 minute delay. I exchanged cards with
what I thought was the competition in my group. He shot 41 on the front
to my 42. The 3rd best player in our group ended with 3 or 4 pars in a
row, I didn't see him coming. The guy I had my eye on proceeds to make a
12 on 10 (par 5), then a triple on 11 (par 3), he is done. The #3 guy
keeps making pars, he and I tied actual but he is a 15 so he is 2 back, also in
the last group of 2nd flight. He shot 84 and 86 last week, so we are
close in score but not in handicap."
Clifton ends up firing a very nice
84. This was an excellent start for him.
"Today I had a birdie putt on 1,
2, nearly chipped in for birdie on 4, birdie putt again on 6, and 9, and 10, another
on 12, and 14, on 15 I had 100 in out of rough down in a hollow up again wispy
grass, I went under a wedge as I heard the sound of a driver on adjacent tee, I
re-grouped chipped it up and made a 5 footer with a foot of break for bogey
(key save), birdie chances again on 17 and 18. Notice I didn't make any
birdies, mostly walked away with par, one or two 3-putt bogies, only 1
double."
His score placed him atop the 2nd
flight leader board after day one.
“I don't know how the guys on tour can
sleep on the lead, a major must be gut wrenching. I made it to the barbeque, had 4 beers, some
brats and rice, beans and fajitas. I am
feeling good. I tee off at 8:54 in the
am last group of 2nd flight.”
The next morning Clifton heads to
Milham Park GC for the 2nd round. His
playing partners are Craig Tenant, Christopher Moffat and Royce Wiggington.
“I shot 95 today, net 78. I predicted that would take me from 1st to
8th walking off 18 green, I finished 7th alone.
I had to shoot another 84 to beat Royce. I played with the winner, 3rd, and 4th. One could say I got steam rolled.”
Unfortunately he was not able to follow
up yesterday’s performance.
“Trying to keep the good carma going
from Saturday to Sunday, I wore the same baby blue BMW visor both days, with
the 2006
Though he was disappointed in his
performance, Clifton surely gained valuable tournament experience.
“It was an enjoyable and affordable
tournament. I gave it my all, slept
poorly, up early, to course early, hit bunker shots, wedge shots, hit small
bucket, chipped and putted. I can
tell my grand kids I was the overnight leader of the K’zoo Am and I teed off as
the leader. I considered wearing my Poulter pants, they might have helped
me. These past few weeks my range work
had been trying to get the club more behind me.
Saturday as I warmed up for the round I was shanking shots, so I chucked
that routine and went back to my natural feel for the game of golf. That produced the 84 Saturday which was
good. Sunday I think it was the 6 inches
between my ears and the 18 hours with the lead.”
We all wish Clifton better luck next
time.
Not
Again! Goetzke Makes Stupid US Open Bet
NGAWire® 14Jun07
The US Open brings out the stupid in a lot of people. Phil
Mickelson, Colin Montgomrie, Jim Furyk… and now Kurt Goetzke.
Goetzke made a $10 best finish bet with Karl Nagy. Goetzke took
Ernie Els, Nagy picked Tiger Woods.
It is unknown if there will be carnage in Oakmont, PA this weekend, but
a massacre in Madison Heights, MI is highly anticipated.
Finally…
Kurncz Makes Things Right
LGAWire® 11Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The LGA would like to welcome back to the Masters2007 family, Mr. Andy
Kurncz. "At exactly 4:15pm on Saturday, June 9th, the Masters2007
committee did receive a letter from Kurncz."
After the committee put the letter through a rigorous anthrax screening
process, the contents of the letter were revealed.
"We are very pleased to announce that the check was signed and
represented the correct amount, that being $20. In fact, as a token of good
faith, a Starbucks gift card was also included in the letter."
The LGA now officially calls for the other governing bodies to consider
letting Kurncz in - at least on a conditional basis.
"We can finally focus our efforts on 2008." lamented an
emotionally scarred committee member. "What Kurncz did was egregious and
attacked the true soul of competition. But like all things, time will blunt the
knife that Kurncz wielded on this committee and on the game itself."
Move
Over Ralph
NGAWire® 8Jun07
The NGA Board of Governors is discussing the prospect of renaming the
Ralph Guldahl Memorial trophy in honor of three-time
“The question is not will we rename it, but when.” stated an unnamed NGA
board member. “Raden has dominated the
Raden has participated in 10
When the name change will take place is still in question, but soon
enough the NGA’s most important trophy will honor two greats of the game!
USPS
Postage Increase Sucker Punches KGAM
NGAWire® 1Jun07
Unbenounced to KGAM president Andy Kurncz, the USPS increased the cost
of a First Class letter from $0.39 to $0.41 beginning May 14, 2007.
LGA
Hates Kurncz, Others To Follow Lead
LGAWire® 1Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The LGA has officially called on the other governing bodies, namely the
NGA and the WMGA to ban Kurncz from all future events.
The audacity of Kurncz to never pay up for his entry into the MASTERS 2007!
pool is great cause for alarm. It is an indicator that something more tragic -
and more harming - may come in future events. Therefore we are calling out to
other governing bodies to ban Kurncz from all future events.
This call out for action is very similar to the "88" rule that
the LPGA has in place at their events. Kurncz may claim that a
"wrist" injury has caused him not to write a check, but we all know
that the LGA accepts cash as well.
First the NGA, then the WMGA - next we’ll position the big boys - GAM,
USGA, etc... We may even warm the
O’Connor
Takes It Low
NGAWire® 23May07
NGA Contributing Reporter, Kurt Goetzke
After suffering through a grueling round of golf at the difficult
Greystone Golf Course on Saturday, May 19, first-year Team Greystone member,
Tim O’Connor came out firing at the equally difficult Rattle Run Golf Course
the following Tuesday.
After stringing together 5 straight birdies, Tim proudly carded a
sizzling 67, an utterly amazing 27 strokes better than his round the previous
Saturday. In a round that included two 3
putts, OIHM (O’Connor In His Mind) O’Connor stated, “it could have been
lower!!!” He followed that comment with
a resounding, “I AM BACK!!!”
This is great to hear, because many have been asking, “Where have you
been, Tim?”
O’Connor, averaging a lackluster 86.4 (nearly 90 at Greystone), is still
trying to find his way in the difficult world of Publinx Golf. He came to the team with excellent
credentials, including a silky smooth putting stroke and a 500 lbs bench
press. We all hope that this stellar
round at Rattle Run was not a fluke.
This reporter has to believe that it is not, considering Tim fired a
similar round at Greystone earlier in the year (before the season started).
The NGA is intrigued by this fact and will continue to monitor his
progress. At this point, there is no
reason to question his round, and, in fact, Tim confidently has stated, “I paid
off, I mean, I have witnesses.”
Hopefully these rounds will translate to some competitive rounds in the
near future.
Maybe Tim is just another member of the “garbage time” club of golfers
on Team Greystone, or maybe he is not.
Only time will tell.
Kurncz
Solicits Lemmon Address, Payment Pending
NGAWire® 21May07
Yesterday morning Andy Kurncz asked the NGA for Chris Lemmon’s home
address.
Does this mean that his payment for the 2007 Masters Pool is finally on
the way?
Hopefully the United States Postal Service doesn’t mess this up… again.
Mickelson
Wins Players, Only Kurncz Cares
NGAWire® 13May07
Phil Mickelson (-11) wins The Players Championship in Ponte Vedra Beach,
FL by two shots over Sergio Garcia.
Tiger Woods finishes well back at (E).
No one cares… except maybe Andy Kurncz.
Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $10
LPGA
Michelob Ultra Championship
LGAWire® 12May07 (dateline – Williamsburg, VA)
Observations from the LGA on attending the LPGA Michelob Ultra
Championship event in Williamsburg.
Woman play slow. Five, yes five
groups were on the par 5 6th tee waiting to tee off. I did take the opportunity to watch the
following on the tee: Lorena Ochoa was like a school girl talking with the
other players. Paula Creamer was by
herself talking with her caddie (loser).
Cristie Kerr does have manly features, despite her weight loss. Natalie Gulbis was hit on by about five
Michelob-filled guys in a manner of 2 minutes, biggest crowd of the day by far.
Also, don't get all pumped up about how far the ladies hit it - the
fairways were rock hard - at least 30 yards of roll after they hit it 220 in
the air.
All in all, a fun day at the links - I just wish Grace Park was here -
get well soon!
Nagy/Woods
3, Kurncz/Mick 0
NGAWire® 7May07
Tiger Woods (and Karl Nagy) shot a final-round 3-under 69 to claim his
57th career
Phil Michelson (and Andy Kurncz) finished T-3, four shots back.
Season totals – Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $0
Look
Who’s Back
NGAWire® 4May07
Just days after declaring no more love for the game of golf, Kurt
Goetzke is back – and better than ever!
In his golf league play last evening, Goetzke found his form and blister
the Greystone GC back nine in 41 shots.
Way to go Kurt!
Kurncz
Delinquent Pisses Off LGA
LGAWire® 4May07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)
The Masters 2007 golf committee has officially put Kurncz on probation
for late payment of entry fees.
"It's a shame that the committee has to go public with this
probation - given the committee's long-standing tradition of keeping finances
under the sheet. One bad apple can ruin
the bushel as they say in Augusta," says a veteran committee member.
There is still time for Kurncz to have the conditional status for the
2008 Masters to be lifted. He must
deliver the entry fee by the end of May.
"This kind of tarnishes everything - the green jacket, the money,
everything. To think that a boy from
Iowa can win the Masters, and truly capable individual like Kurncz can't find a
mailbox - well, it makes you wonder - you know," moped winner Zach
Johnson.
So the clock is ticking… will the invite be extended next year? Only one person has the power to change
everything - and make everything right once again.
Goetzke’s
1st Start Nets Greystone 1st Loss Of Season
NGAWire® 30Apr07
The facts are in. Yesterday in MPGA Team Play, Greystone II traveled to
Romeo for a match versus lowly Romeo I. Yesterday Kurt Goetzke made his first
start of the season. Yesterday Greystone II was defeated for their first loss
of 2007.
What the heck happened? Can Goetzke’s season of hope really be over
before May arrives? Was his fitness regimen and new attitude effort all for
not? Can Goetzke be considered anything but a run of the mill shitty golf?
Upon finishing his round (not that it is important, but he blew 88),
Goetzke stormed into the clubhouse, tossed his $20 match fee at his captain and
bolted from the grounds. Late last evening, Team Captain Steve Lawler received
the following text message from Goetzke: “Sorry-had NO more cheer left-2day
TRULY made me ask myself if I should consider givin up the game I have loved 4
many years-1 of the most disappointin days EVER”.
It looks like another NGA member has lost both his mind and game. Who
will be next?
McKay
In Double Blow Out Trouble
NGAWire® 28Mar07
This past Sunday (25Mar07), Team Greystone’s captain and boss Steve
Lawler scheduled an on course “interview” for three of the extra players at
Shepherd’s Hollow GC (Clarkston, MI).
The players auditioning for Lawler where Kurt Goetzke, Danny McKay and
Officer Tim. Fortunately for Team Greystone, three of the four players bettered
a score of 80. Captain Lawler lead the way with 75, newcomer “Top Cop” Tim
ticketed a 77 and Goetzke rolled in with a 79. All very respectable early
season scores!
The one player to not crack 80 (or even 90) was McKay; he whimpered
around the course in a 91. He hit his ball “all over God’s green earth” stated
a nameless playing partner. Not only did his round displease Capt Lawler and
all but cement his spot as “el número diez”, but it cost him a wallet full of
cash.
Although it is unknown exactly how much money burned its way out of
McKay’s pockets, it is estimated at around $50. A double blow out loss to The
Law cost $20, losses to both Fuzzy and Goat cost $10 each and a team bet loss
$10 more. Hopefully McKay did not take part in a skins or pins game!
NGAWire Note – The NGA is not accountable for any inaccuracies in the
above recap.
Nagy/Woods
Plus $10 For 2007
NGAWire® 26Mar07
Yesterday Tiger Woods netted victory in the CA Championship at Doral, a
World Golf Championship event. His final total of 278 (-10) bettered that of
Phil Mickelson by 10 shots. This win increases the lead of Team Nagy/Woods to
$10 over Team Kurncz/Mickelson.
Maybe Team Kurncz/Mickelson can turn it around at Augusta in two weeks?
Homeless
In Detroit Hungry No More
NGAWire® 22Mar07
The plight of the homeless men, women and children in Detroit has been a
long time problem with no immediate end in sight.
One man has decided to take the issue head on. His name is Andy Kurncz.
Kurncz, a resident of Fenton and president of the KGAM, has decided to make
this March “Give Girl Scout Cookies to Homeless” month.
“I have always had a place in my heart for the down-and-out and less
fortunate. Every time I head to the
Kurncz has been handing out boxes of Girl Scout cookies to wandering
Detroiters for the past two weeks. He is planning to distribute $150 worth of
these scrumptious treats throughout the Motor City.
“Nothing beats the look on the face of someone when I hand them the
cookies. They seem somewhat puzzled at first, but once they notice it is a box
of Thin Mints, pure joy overcomes them.”
Many have said they the world today is a heartless and cruel place to
live. Not true if you live on the streets in Detroit.
NOTE – The homeless are not the only one’s benefiting form this good
will. The KGAM is able to unload the additional quantities of Girl Scout
cookies it has on hand (due to a botched ordering plan) and take a charitable
contribution tax break in 2007. Looks like a win-win for everyone!
2007
NGAWire® 19Mar07
Today the KGAM announced that it has narrowed down the location for the 2007
Andy Kurncz, president of the KGAM, announced that the 2007 event will
be played somewhere within a 150 mile distance from any of the Great Lakes.
As an elementary school refresher, the lakes include Lake Superior (the
largest by volume and deepest, larger than Scotland or South Carolina), Lake
Michigan (the second-largest by volume and third-largest by area; the only one
entirely in the U.S.), Lake Huron (the third-largest by volume; the second
largest in area), Lake Erie (the smallest by volume and most shallow of all the
great lakes) and Lake Ontario (the second-smallest in volume and smallest in
area, much lower elevation than the rest).
When asked if he thought that Lake St. Clair should be included as a
Great Lake, Kurncz stated “Its approximate size of 430 square miles is
relatively small in comparison to the other five Great Lakes. In no way
whatsoever do I consider it great.”
Insiders at the KGAM have leaked word that “humdinger” and “treat” have
been heard describing the plans about the 2007
Lawler
Produces Another Winner
NGAWire® 14Mar07
Yesterday afternoon long time NGA member Steve Lawler and his wonderful
wife Holly gave birth to their 3rd child. Logan Fields Lawler popped out of
Holly’s belly at 4:10pm, weighing in at 8 lbs, 8 oz (3.85 kg) and 21.5 inches
(54.61 cm) long.
Sister Mazie and brother Ashton are happy with the new Lawler. Kurt
Goetzke and Dan McKay are not; Logan will surely give them both a run for the
final spot on Team Greystone.
Mother Holly is said to be doing well, less the horrifically
excruciating pain she is feeling in her reproductive region.
Congratulations Holly and Steve!
Lemmon
Victorious In 2007 CJI
NGAWire® 1Mar07
This past weekend Chris Lemmon cruised to victory in the 2007 Claret Jug
Invitational. Lemmon score of 287 beat 2nd place contestant Karl Nagy by a
whopping 39 points.
Lemmon, who posted rounds of 83, 82, 80 and 89, struggled with his tee
ball the entire tournament. His putter was also bulky at times with 9
three-putts, but his 10 birdies offset those mistakes. Lemmon, an ex-Big Ten
standout, was able to grind out holes and avoid mental mistakes; something his
competition was not able.
Nagy was saddled with feeble tee ball and an unwieldy putter the entire
CJI. His opening rounds of 89, 85 and 92 placed him in third place, one shot
back of second. However, not one to throw in the towel, his final round gut
check of 95 secured him the runner-up spot. Nagy’s best day putting came
courtesy of his trusty SW.
The third contestant was Ron Clifton. He posted rounds of 94, 97 and 111
before opting for fun golf from the white tees the final round, therefore
DQ’ing himself from the CJI. Clifton’s game lacked practice and stability. His
performance on the greens was commendable, but he was in no form for
competitive golf.
All players enjoyed much beer and a good time.
NOTE – The NGA has confirmed that its first venture into publication
will occur this fall with the release “30 Days to a Putter Free Bag”. Look for
it in bookstores and news stands beginning in September.
Goetzke,
McKay Hopeful Team Greystone Team Play Members
NGAWire® 22Feb07
In a surprise move earlier this week, it was announced that long time
NGA members Kurt Goetzke and Dan McKay have been selected to once again vie for
the final spots on the 2007 Team Greystone MPGA team.
Goetzke and McKay were members of the 2006 team, however due to lack of
skill did not contribute diddly last season. It was assumed that McKay was
going to quit the team and concentrate less on golf and Goetzke was just going
to be released.
As per an unnamed member of the Team Greystone hierarchy, both players
have been asked to once again join the team to fill in positions 9 and 10.
“Kurt and Dan are good guys and deserve this opportunity” the source was
quoted. “Playing good golf is not everything. We felt sorry for them.”
It turns out that Greystone’s off-season search for new players was
unsuccessful. Candidates Andy Kurncz, Todd “Piper” Statetzny and Bozo the Clown
all declined the offer.
Former
ROY In Big Trouble
NGAWire® 18Feb07
Former 2005
Determined to work out his problem, Pretzer (the 2006
The balls that he did not shank were worm-burned out into the range. Not
one shot was hit with anything that could be considered proper ball flight.
After all balls were hit, a dejected Pretzer went to the putting green
to practice putt… where he proceeded to shank his first one.
* In a shank, it is the hosel of the club that first contacts the ball.
Since the hosel is rounded, the ball might shoot off in just about any
direction with various spins. But most commonly, a shank results in a ball that
shoots out to the right (for a right-hander) at a severe angle. Someone who
shanks a lot might be said to "have the shanks" or to be
"shanking it." A shank is one of the worst mis-hits in golf; in fact,
many golfers don't even like saying the word out loud.
2007
CJI Field Set, Handicaps And Targets Released
NGAWire® 15Feb07
The NGA has finalized the field for the 2007 Claret Jug Invitational
scheduled for Myrtle Beach, SC on February 23-25, 2007. The field includes
defending CJI champion Karl Nagy (Simpsonville, SC) and runner–up Ronald
Clifton (Richland, MI), along with CJI rookie Chris Lemmon (Richmond, VA).
The handicaps and target number for the players have been determined and
are as follows:
Karl Nagy, handicap 7, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34
Ron Clifton, handicap 17, GIR 5, FW 6, putts 36
Chris Lemmon, handicap 5, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34
Players earn additional deductions to their score by bettering their
target numbers for greens hit, fairways hit and total putts per round. Further
bonuses are given for birdies, eagles and sand saves.
This year’s CJI will be a 72 hole event. The scheduled courses include
Myrtle Beach National (Southcreek), Legends (Heathland and Parkland) and
Prestwick.
In the inaugural 2006 CJI last summer, Nagy dispatched an overwhelmed
Clifton in short order 217 (69-74-74) to 241 (81-92-68). Nagy, the favorite
again, hopes to make nippy work of both Lemmon and Clifton.
“If there is one thing I am good at it is CJI!” stated Nagy. “This type
of tournament sets up perfectly for my strengths of greens and fairways, and
making a bushel of putts.”
NGA
Announces Zero Inductees To
NGAWire® 2Feb07
The Nagyhills Golf Association® made the announcement last evening
during its winter meetings in Key West, FL that no players have been elected to
the
The leading candidate for induction, 2006
Raden, a three time
“What in the world do I have to do to make this stupid Hall of Fame?”
barked Raden. “First I win in 2001, and then again in 2002. I win my third in
2006 and they still don’t induct me. They can all go straight to hell!”
Raden’s 35 points was followed by Steve Lawler (24), Ron Clifton (22),
Karl Nagy (21), Louis Song (21) and Andy Kurncz (16).
All but Kurncz are past
NOTE – Kurncz’s point total bested three current NGA members and past
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