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CJI Dates, Location Set

NGAWire® 10Dec07

 

The dates and location of the 2008 CJI have been determined.  It will take place in Myrtle Beach, SC from March 7-9, 2008.  All other information is TBD.

 

 

Liar, Liar

NGAWire® 16Nov07

 

Yesterday San Francisco’s #1 liar was indicted for perjury and obstruction of justice.  It seems as though Mister Monster Head lied under oath 19 times during his 2003 BALCO federal grand jury testimony.

 

United States Penitentiary inmate Jamal “Two Finger” Brown states that he will welcome Bonds to his Leavenworth, Kansas cell “by jamming two fingers up his cornhole”.  Brown also added that after the first two inches, it is all bowels.

 

Enjoy prison jerk.

 

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Breakfast For Lunch

NGAWire® 15Nov07

 

Today Karl Nagy enjoyed lunch at the local Waffle House (1509 Hwy 101 South, Greer, SC 29651).  It was delicious.

 

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McKay Uncorks At Bowling Alley

NGAWire® 14Nov07

HGA Contributing Reporter, Danny McKay

 

Last Thursday during our Howie's bowling league, our team "Bad News Balls" (Kurt, Steve, Shenkosky and I) was in a tough match against the President of the company team.  We had won the first game by 47 pins.  We then lost the second game by 25 pins.  Now in the third game, after three frames it was not looking good.

 

Ever the competitors, Kurt and I were trying our hardest to find something, anything to pull out a win.  I threw my first ball and thought it was perfect, but when it hit the pins and left an 8-10 split.  I was furious and upon walking back swung my left fist at the ball return.  CRACK.  Immediately I knew something was wrong.  My fingers went numb.  The numbness was followed by pain, a lot of pain.  I stood motionless for a moment hoping that it would be fine, but I was wrong.  I then grabbed my ball and threw it, missing the spare. 

 

Unfortunately now, not only was I in pain, but we continued to get throttled.  When the smoke cleared we had lost the last game and totals.  No one on the team was happy.

 

On the way home I tried steering the wheel with my sore hand, not a great idea.  When turning onto 14 Mile the wheel caught my pinky finger bending it slightly… I can honestly say it was some of the worst pain I have ever felt.

 

I then called Kim to tell her I was on the way home.  I told her my hand was killing me and what had happened.   She called me an "idiot and that I shouldn't be punching sh!t".  I thanked her for the advice and hung up.

 

When I got home the swelling was bad.  I tried to elevate it to keep the pressure down.  I was able to sleep off and on, but the pain was kind of bad.

 

Over the next few days it was painful, but I wanted to make it through the weekend and see how it healed.  On Monday, I called and made a doctor’s appointment to have my monthly blood test for my blood thinner and a look at the hand. 

 

Before I left for the appointment today Kim asked me to let the Doc know about my hand.  So I promised.

 

At the appointment he looked the hand over and said we needed an X-ray.  When the pics were done he brought them into the room and broke the bad news.  My hand was broken.  He showed me the break just behind my left pinky knuckle.  My first words: "You're not putting a cast on it".

 

He protested and told me that I should.  This way he could guarantee that I don't try to swing a golf club.  I asked him what other options he had.  He then produced a splint and a roll of tape.  After a couple minutes, I had a makeshift splint, and he had a promise that I would not do anything to it for 6 weeks.

 

Needless to say I feel like an idiot.  But I have learned a valuable lesson.  When you're losing in bowling, do not punch the ball return.  You can break your hand.

 

My rehab for the 2008 CJI, Guldahl and TPC will begin Dec 20.

 

NOTE – This article was issued to “set the record straight before the rumor mill blows it out of proportion”.

 

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Labor At Candlestone

NGAWire® 13Nov07

 

Today Andy Kurncz fired 44-46-90 and his brother Mark Chapman 44-46-90 at Candlestone GC in Belding, MI.

 

This was Chapman’s first official round of the year.  He played in the famed Glenhurst Spring Scramble tourney early in the year, but that was a team event.  Chapman started today’s round with a par.

 

Kurncz stated that golf makes him tired.  He thinks golf would be better played as a 12 hole round, with 3 warm-up holes to start and 3 cool down holes to finish.

 

 

Dancing Fool

NGAWire® 6Nov07

 

This past weekend was the big Michigan versus Michigan State football game.  Andy Kurncz and his wife Cori were enjoying the game in their Fenton home.

 

With MSU holding a 24-14 lead, Cori confidently stated that U of M was still going to win the game.  Andy asked her if she would like to put a little wager on her statement.

 

Andy offered that if Michigan State held on and won, she would have to perform a striptease for him the likes of Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies.  But if Michigan came back, he would have to sign up for ballroom dancing classes with her.

 

The final score was Michigan 28, Michigan State 24.

 

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Ring Around The Rosy, Cup Full Of Posy

NGAWire® 5Nov07

 

The fabled Ralph Guldahl Memorial Trophy is currently being used as a receptacle for flowers.

 

This disturbing picture was taken at a home in Clawson, MI.

 

The NGA does not condone this usage of the cup nor the multitude of debauchery pictured with it.

 

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Dog Days Of Fall

NGAWire® 2Nov07

 

WOOF – Yesterday the NGA received an urgent message from Ron Clifton requesting DVM advice.  It had appeared to Clifton that his puppy dog Pluto had swallowed the metal portion of a twin razor blade.  All that was found on the floor was the plastic housing.

 

Clifton rushed his dog to the local veterinary hospital were it was determined that Pluto indeed had eaten the razor blade.

 

Should Pluto be allowed to try and pass the blade through his system, in hope that his stomach, intestines and anal regions would not become a butchered mess or to put him under the expensive, yet more reliable surgical knife of a veterinary handyman?

 

Clifton chose surgery and his doggie is resting fine.  “We dodged a huge bullet today!” texted Clifton.

 

Upon receiving the bill, he also added “We just repurchased Pluto $$$$ again!”

 

WOFF, WOOF – Last Friday, on the way home from work, the NGA gave a call to Andy Kurncz to see how things were going.

 

Kurncz stated that he and his family were at Payless Shoes in Twelve Oaks enjoying Bogo.  He bragged that after buying shoes, the family was off to Olga’s Kitchen for dinner.  A large order of Snackers and an Original Olga was in his future.

 

I complained that it was not fair for him to enjoy Olga’s while his buddy in the south could not.  In a show of good gesture, Kurncz promised to send me a picture of his meal.

 

Two hours had past and no picture.  The NGA was worried and gave him a call.

 

Kurncz stated that things had changed and he was now on his way home.  No Olga’s Kitchen for him – no Snackers or Original Olga.  He complained his belly was hungry.

 

It seems as though the Kurncz family had meandered into a mall pet store.  $500 later they were on their way home with a new dog.

 

“I guess it will be crappy pizza tonight” exclaimed a bewildered Kurncz.

 

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Raden Is #1 in 2008… Or Is McKay?

NGAWire® 25Oct07

 

Earlier this week (10/23/07 at 12:11pm) the NGA released its plans for the 2008 TPC.  An “unofficial” request for deposit payment for interested participants was solicited.

 

That same day (1:19pm), the NGA received the first 2008 TPC deposit payment from 3-time TPC champion Coree Raden.  Raden, bitter over the fact that he was not the first contestant to submit payment in 2007, made sure to get his money in fast.  “I am very happy I beat (Dan) McKay to the punch this time” stated a gleaming Raden.

 

Unfortunately for Raden, his PayPal payment is still currently at an UNCLEARED status.  The expected clearing date of his payment is tomorrow, 10/26/07.

 

Today, TPC stalwart Dan McKay’s entry payment was received, also via PayPal.  However, the status of McKay’s payment is COMPLETED.

 

This now begs the question, who is the 1st entrant for the 2008 TPC?

 

Section 19-22 of the NGA’s Guide to Running a Successful Tournament states – An entry is only considered official when the required payment is received.  Entries with partial payment or lacking payment are considered void.

 

Move over Raden, Dan McKay is the first entrant in the 2008 TPC.

 

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2007 TPC Recap – In My Own Words

NGAWire® 1Oct07

Karl Nagy, 2007 TPC Runner-up

 

At the turn – After a solid par on 9, I was happy to be only 2 down going to the back nine against putting manic Goetzke.  What I was not happy with was the service in the clubhouse for two Gatorades – it took 15 minutes to pay for them, plus I left my favorite golf towel on the counter.  Stupid Canadians!  [Goetzke 38, Nagy 40]

 

10th hole (par 4) – I figured that driver was the perfect club and hit an easy one to the right center of the fairway.  Goetzke decided that driver was perfect too and hit a high flare right – luckily he missed it way right of all the junk.  My approach came up short on the fringe and I didn’t chip it close enough, but Kurt was busy hitting a tree and pitching long of the pin; he did make another long one for double.  All was well.  Lead down to one. [Goetzke 44, Nagy 45]

 

11th hole (par 3) – After McKay stole the tee and hit a 6-iron just left and long, I knew my 7 was perfect.  I hit it at the right edge of the left bunker, but I didn’t see it land.  I figured it was just long.  Upon reaching the green, my ball was nowhere.  After some searching, I headed back to the tee.  I remember thinking what a long, stupid, dirty cart ride this was to that misplaced tee.  I hoped on to be killed by the golfers teeing off on 18.  I pulled my second 7-iron under a tree, dubbed one into the bunker, splashed out and mindlessly three putted, all the while my buddy Kurt was pitching and putting for par.  In a blink of an eye, I just lost 5 shots.  I was in big trouble now.  [Goetzke 47, Nagy 53]

 

12th hole (par 5) – Goetzke had the tee and hit his 3-iron way left.  I pulled out driver, even though Kurt said there was no room to hit it, I needed to smack something very badly.  I aimed left and unleashed.  The ball ended perfect at the 150 yard marker, but I failed to get my 2nd all the way up to the perched green and only made par.  Goetzke gleefully found his tee ball and reached the green in three, but he left his tough downhill putt short (thanks Dan and Ron for scaring him) and missed the par attempt.  Finally a miss by Goat!  [Goetzke 53, Nagy 58]

 

13th hole (par 4) – My head was finally cleared again and I told myself all was not lost.  I smoked my driver perfect (again).  Unfortunately my approach was pulled and missed left.  My recovery pitch wasn’t good enough.  Bogey for me.  Goetzke was busy hacking down the entire right side of the hole, but came away with bogey as well.  No blood.  [Goetzke 58, Nagy 63]

 

14th hole (par 4) – I ripped another drive dead center and a good 9-iron left me 8 feet for birdie.  Goetzke said he hit a great drive, but we couldn’t find it.  After a long search, he found it on his way back to the teebox.  His ball was 20 yards behind McKay’s, not 25 ahead.  Nice!  Unfortunately for him he smoked his 2nd way over the green into some shrubbery.  I thought to myself that maybe this was my chance?  After finding his ball, Kurt’s third just got it out of the deep stuff; he then pitched it long of the green, fatted one, then wedged to 10-12 feet and rolled the putt in (of course) for triple.  Before I attempted by birdie, I switched my grip to cross-handed and played the ball off my left toe.  I was putting so badly, I figured it couldn’t hurt.  I hit a good putt, but misread the amount of break.  Nonetheless, I picked up three shots.  [Goetzke 65, Nagy 67]

 

15th hole (par 3) – Driver was too much, so I tried to smoke hook a 2-iron, but toe dubbed it 70 yards from the green.  Poor Goetzke’s tee ball ended up on a tree stump balanced on some pieces of crap wood.  No chance for par.  He squibed his shot behind the green and couldn’t get it up and down.  I hit a real good 2nd to about 8 feet, but missed it to tie the lead.  [Goetzke 70, Nagy 71]

 

16th hole (par 4) – I hit another drive perfectly and a solid approach 30 feet pin high left.  Goetzke was again all over the place and reach the green in three.  I decided to hit the putt with my SW for better speed, but I left it six feet shy.  It was more uphill than I thought.  I hit another good cross handed putt (to tie the lead), but I missed again.  Goetzke must have felt sorry for me and slow lipped out his tiny putt for bogey.  Somehow all was squared.  [Goetzke 76, Nagy 76]

 

17th hole (par 3) – A tough hole.  I hit a steered 6-iron to the right back (safe side) of the green.  Big relief.  Goetzke hit his tee ball on a better line, but near the water left.  Kurt chipped close with his rescue and I hit a real good first putt and made a man-maker 3 footer for par.  [Goetzke 79, Nagy 79]

 

18th hole (par 5) – I pumped a real good driver to just around the 200 yard marker.  Kurt hit a good 3-iron off the tee and another long iron just short of a greenside bunker.  SkyCaddie said I had 205 yards to the middle of the green.  I planned to play a high fade over the trees, but I swung a bit hard and the ball went straight and unluckily ended in a fairway bunker.  I had about 60 yards over another trap to the green.  I thought about playing around the sand, but figured if I hit a good one the pressure would be back on Kurt.  I caught too much ball and I went over the green into a hazard.  I took my drop and pitched to 10 feet-ish.  Kurt dumped his 3rd into a bunker, but hit a good sand shot to 5 feet.  I knew I needed to make mine for any chance and poured it in.  I still figured Goetzke would make his, but no.  His putt lost its speed and missed low.  Playoff time.  [Goetzke 85, Nagy 85]

 

Playoff 1: 18th hole (par 5) – Goetzke went first and hit an ugly 3-iron short and right.  I hit my worst drive of the day, longer than him, but right too.  I figured a 9-iron would get me to around 100 yards, but fatted it to 150.  An easy 9-iron from 150 was a perfect third, but I patched it again, just short of Goetzke’s bunker.  I really wasn’t paying attention, but somehow Goetzke finally reached the green in four.  My pitch from short of the bunker was on bear ground, but I was fairly confident I could hit it close.  I was wrong and dumped it into the trap.  I hit the sand shot to 8 feet and made the putt for bogey.  Kurt now had to make his lag from 4 feet to extend things.  He poured it in.

 

Playoff 2: 1st hole (par 5) – Goetzke choose his driver – as long as he hit it solid, he’d be fine.  He didn’t and hit a high, weak ball right into a hazard.  I ripped my driver dead center to under 200 yards.  Big advantage me.  After a drop next to the garbage, Kurt ripped a rescue 250+ yards to 20 yards short.  Nice recovery pal.  I picked a 7-iron for my second to avoid going long and hit it to the front fringe.  Goetzke told me he was going to get up and down and wedged it to 6 feet.  My 8-iron chip and run stopped 10 feet short and my putt to win the damn thing missed low.  I thought with the aerated green, Kurt may miss, maybe, maybe.  Nope.

 

Playoff 3: 2nd hole (par 4) – Kurt ripped a 6-iron over the edge of the trees perfect.  My 6-iron was pushed right, almost OB, but ended safe.  My 2nd went long and left while Kurt put his in the center of the green.  I was in trouble.  I needed to get up and down, but should have picked a PW instead of SW and thinned it over into another bunker.  My bunker shot rolled outside Kurt’s approach and all was done.  Kurt was the winner.

 

 

2007 TPC Recap – In My Own Words

NGAWire® 27Sep07

Kurt Goetzke, 2007 TPC Champion

 

As the Back Nine started, I was pretty confident...had not hit the ball great on the Front Nine, but still had managed a 38 with some ridiculous putting...was a little down because I left a 5 foot putt woefully short on 9 for a 37, showing a little nerve and tentativeness...A very bad decision on my tee ball (hitting Driver) on Number 10 lead to a punch out and a SW that came up short and hit a tree short and right of the green...a pitch across the green and a painful just missed bogey putt from 15 feet led to double bogey...I had given back a stroke right out of the gate on the back nine...then came the turning point hole of the entire day...After Dan hit a 6 iron slightly long and left, I pulled (literally and figuratively) a 7 iron...it hit the edge of the bunker and kicked right into a great spot just off the green...Nagy then struck a 7 Iron as well and hit what appeared to be a fine, majestic shot just a bit left (looked like it would be right about where mine was)...after looking for 5 minutes, Nagy's ball was NOWHERE to be seen and had to return to the tee where he proceeded to card an 8...Most awful break I have ever seen...I pitched to 4 feet or so and made the putt, making up 5 strokes on Karl and taking a seemingly insurmountable 6 shot lead...I made a bogey on 12 (three putting) and followed that up with a bogey on 13...then the fun began...I hit my best drive of the day on 14 (which is not saying much), and then we commenced to looking...we looked everywhere and when it appeared all was lost and I was turning the cart back to the tee, I found my ball on the edge of the fairway, just in the rough...we all agreed I could hit the ball, but feeling stupid about the whole situation, I kind of quick hit a 7 iron from about 190 (downwind) and it hit over the green and went deep into the woods...I then hit a provisional 8 iron on the BACK of the green...we found my ball, but it was a tough shot...I got it out short, but then skulled the next shot off hardpan into the fairway...I then dumped my chip about 2 feet in front of me and then pitched to 15 feet straight downhill...I then MADE the putt for a 7, losing 3 strokes to Karl...On 15 I hit a 3 Wood pin high left, but, tragically, it was against the stump of a cut down tree and against a piece of bark that would have caused my ball to move if I moved it...I chipped sideways and then chipped to about 15 feet and missed for a double...On 16 I hit 3 IRON, 5 IRON, and chipped to about 25 after a horrible bounce right...I left the putt 4 feet short and then had the worst lip out of the trip for another double bogey...Karl missed a short putt for par and we were then, all of a sudden, TIED again going to the treacherous 17th...I hit a solid punch trap draw 5 Iron to about pin high left, where I then Rescue putted to 3 feet and made it for par...Nagy also pared and we moved on to 18 still tied...I smoked a 3 Iron down the middle, but in a terrible lie...I forced a solid cut 4 iron up in front of the green, but on a downhill hardpan lie...Nagy had hit left and long in the fairway bunker with an impossible shot and when he caught too much ball and hit it way into the hazard long, I had an opening...I considered chipping sideways, but felt I could get under it enough to get it somewhere on the green...NOT TRUE...I skulled it horribly into the face of the bunker...fortunately for me, it made it down into the bunker and out of the ankle high grass...the sand was very firm and it was probably as hard of a shot as the previous one, but I executed it very well to about 4-5 left of the hole...Nagy had about 15 feet for bogey, so, if he missed I could 2 Putt comfortably...BUT, he didn't!!!  After he made, I leaked the putt just right and it was off to a PLAYOFF!!!  The first playoff hole was pretty ugly, culminating with Nagy making a 10 foot putt for bogey (after he gave me an opening by dumping one in the same bunker I was in earlier)...I had putted by about 4 feet and had to make to extend the playoff, which I did...then came the other "turning point" hole for the day...I thought I could hit Driver on 1...The hole set up too good not too...Unfortunately, my pattern of awful driving continued and I lost it right...I had to drop and off of hardpan, I hit one of the best Rescues I have ever hit considering the situation...it got to about 40 yards short of the pin, still giving me a little hope...Nagy was on the fringe in 2 on the Par 5, so my only chance was making PAR and hoping...I hit a really good low SW that ended up about 6 feet short...Karl chipped to about 12 feet and then missed, giving me a chance to go another hole and I capitalized by making the putt for an all world PAR!!!  With momentum on my side, I hit a solid 6 iron on the next hole and a PW to about 20 Feet...Karl had hit left and long with his second shot and then skulled a chip across the green in the bunker...he splashed out long and chipped to about 10 feet, giving me 3 Putts (THANK GOD) to win...I thought I had made the birdie putt, but it lipped out...I straddled to brush in the 2 footer for PAR and MISSED!!!  I then composed myself and made the 18 incher to WIN!!!  It was an exhausting day with many emotional highs and lows, but to sum everything up, I would not have had it any other way…going head to head with my great friend and having everyone following us and watching, was a great experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything…I hope we have the same excitement next year and I get to ride around in the cart and watch!!!

 

 

Pee Pee Drip Deemed No Problem

NGAWire® 25Sep07

 

During the 3rd round of the 2007 TPC, golf talk made way for a more serious matter.

 

While waiting to hit their tee shots on the par 3 #14 at St Clair Parkway GC, a urinating Karl Nagy asked his playing partners if they had a problem with dripping urine after completion of a “draining the main vein”.  They agreed that this has become a recent problem for each – much to their relief.

 

One unnamed player stated that he had sought medical advice for this problem.  “I though my bladder was finished!” he declared.  “It is good to see we are all in the same boat.”

 

Talk then twisted to prostate exams, fingers up the anus, teaching young sons to “tap” the penis and wet underwear stories before finally revering back to golf.

 

 

Goetzke Crowned 2007 TPC Champion

NGAWire® 24Sep07

 

In one of the closest battles in TPC history, Kurt Goetzke defeated Karl Nagy in a three hole playoff to earn the 2007 TPC title, his second TPC victory.

 

The final round started with Nagy leading by 1 over Goetzke and 6 over Ron Clifton.  Handicap differential placed all three players in a dead heat with each other.

 

After the front nine on Sunday, only Nagy and Goetzke remained in contention.  Goetzke took a two shot lead into the back and increased it to six with help of a Nagy quadruple bogey on 11, but a Goetzke stretch of triple-double-double squared things up with two to play.

 

Both players made good pars on the difficult par 3 #17 to keep things level.  After messing up their third shots on the par 5 #18, both players began to scramble, Nagy from a hazard and Goetzke from a bunker.  Good recovery efforts by both and a holed 12 footer by Nagy left Goetzke 5 feet from the title, unfortunately the putt missed low.  All was tied after regulation.

 

The players went back and played 18 as the first playoff hole.  Less than spectacular drives and approach shots left both players short of the green in three.  Goetzke smartly played his fourth onto the green, while Nagy patched his shot into a sand bunker.  Nagy gamely got his ball up and in for a bogey six and Goetzke two putted, holing a slippery four footer, to extend the playoff.

 

On the par 5 #1, Goetzke flared his drive high and right into a hazard.  After a penalty drop, Goetzke smashed his rescue club 20 yards from the green.  Nagy hit his second onto the fringe, but failed to get up and down and settled for par.  Goetzke pitched from just short of the green to 8 feet and rolled his putt home to tie the hole.

 

The battle finally ended on the par 4 #2.  A weak tee ball and approach shot over the green left Nagy with an impossible up and down chance.  Goetzke, soundly in the heart of the green after two good irons, was in control.  Nagy proceeded to thin his third over the green into a bunker, and then splashed number four back across onto the fringe.  A Nagy lag putt past the cup left Goetzke with three putts for the win.

 

The final results of the 2007 TPC were:

 

1 Kurt Goetzke 74-70-77-75 296 (+12)

2 Karl Nagy 76-70-74-76 296 (+12)

3 Ron Clifton 81-77-68-78 304 (+20)

4 Steve Lawler 80-77-77-77 311 (+27)

5 Dan McKay 92-68-72-83 315 (+31)

6T Jeff Pretzer 79-80-78-83 320 (+36)

6T Andy Kurncz 80-88-80-72 320 (+36)

8 Bruce Kruckeberg 93-80-70-83 326 (+42)

9 Jim Hartigan 86-77-81-83 327 (+43)

10 Jeff Longeway 86-78-85-84 333 (+49)

11 Tim O'Connor 86-86-77-86 335 (+51)

12 Coree Raden 93-82-87-91 353 (+69)

13 Brent Pretzer 87-84-85-110 366 (+82)

 

Congratulations to Kurt Goetzke, the 2007 TPC Champion!

 

BTW – The 2007 TPC ROY honor goes to Jim Hartigan, who’s +43 effort also earned him a coveted top 10 finish.

 

 

2007 TPC ROY Race Looks Super Exciting

NGAWire® 18Sep07

 

The 2007 TPC will not only crown a just and deserving champion, but for the first time in many years an exciting Rookie of the Year battle.

 

Not since Jeff Pretzer “Arrive, Survive, Stay Alive” campaign and victory in 2005 will a ROY be crowned.  The last TPC ROY battle with more than one rookie occurred in 2001.  Derek Andre overpowered newbie’s Mark Myszkowski, Joe Stubleski and Leonard Yim for honors that year.

 

Here is a look at this year’s rookies:

 

Jim Hartigan (handicap 3) – Jim looks to be the most powerful rookie in the field.  His solid and consistent game, plus love for caffeine, will prove beneficial over the long haul.  Jim’s participation and experience as a playing marker at the 2005 TPC will prove to be the swing factor.

 

Brent Pretzer (handicap 6) – Brent is a cagey competitor.  If backed into a corner, he will go for your jugular.  However, golf courses do not have corners and Brent will not be a factor.

 

Tim O’Connor (handicap 2) – Tim is one of the most gifted players in the field.  His hands are large.  However Tim’s low handicap and the fact that we will be coming off playing four consecutive days of tiresome tournament golf will be detrimental.

 

Unfortunately for all rookies, their allotted handicap strokes will prove a great hindrance in trying to capture the prized TPC title.

 

 

Woods And Nagy Win Tour Championship

NGAWire® 17Sep07

 

This past weekend Tiger Woods won the PGA Tour Championship at East Lake GC outside Atlanta.

 

Woods’ total of -23 under par won him $1,260,000 and a $10,000,000 retirement annuity and Karl Nagy $5.

 

Phil Mickelson piss poor total of -5 earned him $134,400 and Andy Kurncz $0.

 

In all likelihood, this will be the final official PGA tournament of the year for both Tiger and Phil.  The season long bet between Nagy and Kurncz stands at $30 for Nagy, $20 for Kurncz.

 

An item description of “2007 Tiger/Phil Season Bet” with the amount of $10 will be entered in the Andy Kurncz Fees Excel file as another owed item.

 

 

Say It Ain’t So Big Blue!

NGAWire® 4Sep07

 

This past weekend, NCAA college football powerhouse and perennial national title contender University of Michigan pissed away its season.

 

The mighty Wolverines were defeated by the Appalachian State Mountaineers on Saturday, 34 – 32, at the Big House in Ann Arbor, MI.  Many football experts nation wide consider this one of the biggest upsets in college football history.

 

NGA’s own Dan McKay was heard on a phone message stating “We lost.  We lost.  We lost.  We lost.  We lost.  We lost.”

 

Can U of M really salvage anything this season?  A win over Ohio State would be nice, but even if Lloyd’s team goes undefeated the rest of the way, this year is a loss.

 

Way to go ASU!  Way to go!

 

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Lucky Mickelson Beats Dehydrated Woods

NGAWire® 3Sep07

 

Yesterday Phil Mickelson won the Douche Bag Championship by two over Tiger Woods.

 

The win by Mickelson/Kurncz reduces the Woods/Nagy lead to a $25 to $20 margin.

 

 

2011 TPC Only Getting Closer

NGAWire® 21Aug07

 

The 2011 TPC, slated for somewhere on the big islands of Great Britain and Ireland, is growing nearer and nearer.

 

The first tee shot of this historic TPC in only 1482 days away, with the first round set for Saturday, September 10, 2011.

 

Mark your calendar and remind your wife!

 

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Woods Wins 2007 PGA Championship

NGAWire® 12Aug07

 

Today Tiger Woods won the 2007 PGA Championship at Southern Hills CC in Tulsa, OK.  This was his 16 major championship victory and places him only 4 behind leader Jack Nicklaus.

 

Woods’ win increases Karl Nagy’s lead in the season long Woods/Mickelson wager over Andy Kurncz to $25 to $10 margin.

 

With only FedEx tournaments left for Tiger and the fact that Phil is a muscle, Nagy is looking add to his total in the next month.

 

 

Cheater Hits Homer 756, No One Cares

NGAWire® 8Aug07

 

Last night, the big cheater and steroid user living in San Francisco hit MLB career record home run number 756.  Way to go Barry, you big jerk.

 

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Woods Wins, Nagy Wins, Kurncz Still A Loser

NGAWire® 7Aug07

 

This past weekend Tiger Woods netted his fourth victory of the season.  His total of -8 won him $1,350,000 and Karl Nagy $5.

 

Woods defeated rival Phil Mickelson by 21 shots.  Mickelson’s sorry total of +13 earned him $44,500 and Andy Kurncz $0.

 

Nagy/Woods lead the season long wager by a total of $20 (4 victories) to $10 (1 victory) over Mickelson/Kurncz.

 

Odds are that Nagy/Woods win again this week at the PGA Championship.

 

 

Adiós Team Greystone II

NGAWire® 6Aug07

 

Dan McKay and Kurt Goetzke played their last official Publinx match yesterday as part of Team Greystone II.  They posted a pair of 90's and took a combined total of zero points.

 

Their loss is going to leave a giant hole on the team’s lineup.  Replacing a pair like this is not going to be easy for team captain Steve Lawler.  One could make the comparison to the U.S. Ryder Cup Team losing the likes of Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson.

 

When asked what the future holds for the HGA golfing duo, they replied "We are going to form our own team with Andy Kurncz as our captain and have some fun again."

 

With a nucleus of Kurncz, Goetzke and McKay, the new Publinx team looks to off to a tremendous start.

 

 

McKay Enjoys Ice Cream Cone

NGAWire® 3Aug07

 

Today at lunch Dan McKay enjoyed an ice cream cone.

 

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Oh No Purple Toe

NGAWire® 31Jul07

 

This morning before work, Karl Nagy accidentally ran into the living room couch.  Ouch!  His 2nd toe on the right foot paid the supreme price.

 

No golf league for Karl tonight.

 

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O Canada

NGAWire® 31Jul07

 

O Canada! Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North, strong and free!

From far and wide, O Canada,

We stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

 

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And The Name Is… 2007 Gala!

NGAWire® 31Jul07

 

The LBGAM has released the name of its upcoming tournament.  It will be called the 2007 Gala.  Let the excitement begin!

 

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LBGAM Beats KGAM To Punch, TPC In Turmoil

NGAWire® 31Jul07

 

Lack of information regarding the 2007 TPC may have cost the NGA valued player entries.

 

Angered by the lack of KGAM information, the LBGAM has scheduled its own tournament for the same time period as the TPC.  Many big name players have jumped ship.  They include Kurt Goetzke, Coree Raden, Jeff Longeway and Dan McKay.

 

The schedule of play for the LBGAM event (tournament name is under discussion) has been released.

 

  Rd 1, Thur 9/20, 9:00a, St Clair Parkway GC

  Rd 2, Fri 9/21, 8:00a, Firerock GC

  Rd 3, Fri 9/21, 1:00p, Cardoc Sands GC

  Rd 4, Sat 9/22, 10:00a, Sawmill Creek GC

  Rd 5, Sun 9/23, 9:00a, Sarnia G&CC

 

Included in the LBGAM entry is free tournament housing at the Lawler Family Retreat Compound in Sarnia, Ontario.

 

“The KGAM has always been a shoddy organization” states LBGAM President Steve Lawler.  “I feel bad that the NGA was hoodwinked by Kurncz and company once again, but you can only take a horse to water so many times.  Maybe the HGA and WMGA can revitalize the TPC in 2008?”

 

Of the five players committed to participate in the TPC, refund requests have been made by all except Mark D’Antionio.

 

 

TPC Field Small In Number, Big On Heart

NGAWire® 26Jul07

 

With less than 56 days until the 2007 TPC, only 5 players have committed entry forms and payment.  “This looks to be the smallest TPC field ever!” stated NGA president Karl Nagy.

 

Nonetheless, the players that have entered are the heart and soul of the TPC.

 

Dan McKay, #1 entry, handicap 10 – Past TPC contestant.  Likes to move ball left to right or right to left, streaky putter, soft hands.

 

Coree Raden, #2, handicap 0 – Past TPC champion.  Strong driver of ball, streaky putter, fair with irons, good hands, keeps ball in play.

 

Karl Nagy, #3, handicap 9 – Past TPC champion.  Fair putter, fair driver, streaky with irons, hits the ball high, likes to move ball left to right, likes cigars.

 

Ron Clifton, #4, handicap 15 – Past TPC champion.  Likes to move ball left to right, streaky putter, hits lots of fairways, cool customer under the gun, good player.

 

Mark D’Antonio, #5, handicap 7 – Past TPC contestant.  Good player, hits the ball high, streaky chipper, fair driver and putter.

 

What an exciting TPC it will be this year!!

 

 

I Ate The Pounder

NGAWire® 24Jul07

 

Yesterday NGA’s own Andy Kurncz ate the pounder.

 

During his lunch with fellow MicroMotion co-workers at Cheeburger Cheeburger in Livonia, MI, Andy and fellow colleague Dan decided they would take on the semi-famous “Our Famous Pounder” 20oz pre-cooked hamburger.

 

“The first half went down like nothing” declared Andy.  The second was a bit more of a challenge.  “I really had to pace myself eating the 2nd half pound.”

 

Not only did both men finish their burgers, but they also consumed a basket of Frings and large drinks.  Their efforts obtained them each an “I ATE THE POUNDER” t-shirt and a photo of themselves holding a massive burger was taken and adorns the restaurant’s wall of fame.

 

Noted Andy, “What we ate was equivalent to five Quarter Pounder’s w/Cheese.”

 

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Battle At Washtenaw Headlines FoMoCo And Platinum Drywall

NGAWire® 13Jul07

 

The age old question of company supremacy will again be up for test today.  Ford Motor Company’s own Matt Maser and Mark D’Antonio will be hosting Platinum Drywall’s Jeff Pretzer and Steve Lawler in a golfing mêlée on the grounds of Washtenaw CC in Ann Arbor, MI.

 

Matt Maser (1997 TPC Champion) scheduled this one-on-one with Platinum Drywall in a show of appreciation and gratitude.  Platinum ‘D’ is currently dry walling the Maser basement.  Mark D’Antiono (1997 TPC 3rd Place), a FoMoCo colleague and friend of Maser, was chosen as a partner.

 

Jeff Pretzer (2006 TPC 2nd Place), president of Platinum Drywall, chose Steve Lawler (2005 TPC Champion) to be his compadre for the battle.  Lawler won selection over two other Platinum associates, Juan Jose Luis “Chi-Chi” Mendez and Porfirio Raul Miguel “The Shark” Gonzalez.

 

Good luck to both teams!

 

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The NGA graciously provides the below translation for Platinum Drywall associates and southern immigrants country wide.

 

La cuestión histórica de la supremacía de la compañía estará otra vez para arriba para la prueba hoy.  Maser Matie y marca mates D' Antonio Marque de la Compañía del Motor de Ford propio recibirán a Pretzer Jefe de Drywall del Platino y Lawler Seban en un mêlée golfing sobre la base de Washtenaw CC en Ann Arbor, MI.

 

Maser Matie (campeón de 1997 TPC) programar esto uno-en-uno con el platino Drywall en una demostración del aprecio y de la gratitud.  El `D’ del Platino' es actualmente albañilería seca el sótano del Maser.  D' Antiono Marque (1997 lugar de TPC 3ro), colega de FoMoCo y eligieron al amigo del Maser, como socio.

 

Pretzer Jefe (2006 lugar de TPC 2do), presidente del Platino Drywall, eligió a Lawler Seban (campeón de 2005 TPC) para ser su compadre para la batalla.  Lawler ganó la selección sobre dos otros asociados del platino, Mendez “Chi-Chi” Juan José Luis y Gonzalez “el Tiburón” Porfirio Raul Miguel.

 

¡Buena suerte a ambos equipos!

 

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Dew Sweeping

NGAWire® 9Jul07

NGA Contributing Reporter, Coree Raden

 

Dew sweeping at 7AM is a beautiful thing.

 

My round Sunday Morning began at 6:47 AM on the Red Nine at Saskatoon golf club.  Surprisingly the course was buzzing with activity, another single was teeing off on the White nine (although he was riding), a foursome was waiting for him to clear on the same nine.  I had a twosome walking behind me that as soon as I hit my second shot on the first hole was firing away.  I quickly walked up to the green and two putted for my par.  In a hurry went to the next tee trying to build a gap between myself and the next group.  After the second hole I couldn’t see them anymore but, assumed they were approaching the tee so, I had a one hole cushion built up.  I kept up the pace, and walking down the 5th hole (easiest par 5 on the course which I bogeyed), I saw them just beginning to approach the second green.  Not sure how I built a 2+ hole cushion that fast but, I just kept motoring along.  Walking up the 9th hole I see the other single teeing off on the Blue nine.  So, I was about even with him since he teed off and was in the fairway when I teed off.

 

Made the turn at 7:50 AM, moving across the street to the Gold nine.  Walked the first two holes of the back nine and couldn’t see anyone else out there besides me, smooth sailing ahead.  As I teed off on the 12th hole as I addressed the ball, I heard a driver impacting the ball on the second hole.  As I walked towards the tree I hit on this par 3, I surveyed the situation and saw that it was a single golfer riding with his dog running along side him.  In my mind I said okay let’s pick up the pace to stay ahead of him.  13th hole pulled my drive towards the woods, as I was walking towards my ball and hoping it got kicked out, I watched to see how fast he was playing he was moving along pretty good, walking off the second green as I found my ball safely in the rough with only minor tree troubles.  Moving along quickly I preceded to the finish the 14th hole and looked back and he was still on the 13th green.  Hit a nice drive on the 15th and hit my approach to 10 feet on this short par 5, missed the eagle of course.  He was actually on the 15th tee as I finished the hole.  Quickly played through the 16th hole par 3 which I 3 putted for bogey.  As I arrived at my ball in the 17th fairway he was just approaching the tee on 16.  In my mind I relaxed and said okay, I am not going to have to let him play through.  Finished the last two holes with ho hum 2 putt pars.  After returning to my bag on the 18th green, I looked at my clock to see how fast I had played.  It was 8:52.  So, 18 holes in 2:05.  Actually 1 minute shy of my record round.

 

As much as I enjoy playing golf with friends, I also enjoy playing these types of rounds where I can play 18 holes before 9 AM and still have the rest of the day to do what I want.  On a side note, Karl can you update my low round to a +1 – 72 at Saskatoon Golf Club on July 8, 2007.

 

 

Early Morning Golf

NGAWire® 6Jul07

NGA Contributing Reporter, Ron Clifton

 

Last night I got the green light to play today. I was holding a KMGA rain check from the Bob Milar, it was burning a hole in my pocket.

 

Puppy got me up at 5 am let him out fed him dressed out the door by 5:30. Arrive at Milham Park at 5:50 to a locked gate. 6:30 an early bird member told me the gate usually doesn't open until nearly 7:00. Today was an early day for the Milham staff the gate opened at 6:45. After unloading clubs and preparing to play I learned the early bird retired Milham Membership is holding the first 4 tee times. So I am the first of the back 9 at 7 am 1:15 after arriving.

 

I had a magical 9 holes 7/8 fw, 1/9 greens, 14 putts for 41. A great scrambling day. On 10 I hit my 3rd just to the back of the green had to chip over a 2 inch water hose to a foot for a par. On 12 great sand save short sided right bunker with pin tucked right. On 13 after sculling a 9 iron over the green chipped low 7 iron from under a pine tree to 10 feet nearly made great par, good bogey. Solid play until the drivable 277 yd (plays longer) 16th. Piped 4 wood to 70 yds pin way in the front came over sw flew way over green by 50 yds down hill on hard pan by cart path nearly in the woods as the guy cutting the green waits. I knock sw back 25 feet and drain it for par! He was impressed he muttered and shook his head. Limped in bogey for my +4 41 on par 37 the last 2 holes always play tough. I attempted to go to the front, I played in 1 hr 20 minutes but time didn't allow for me to post 18. I played 10 and 11 again and walked to the car at 9 am. Off to Wal-Mart, and then to GLCC for my daughter's birthday party.

 

I realized I don't have the time nor patience to play much golf in a 4 some for 5 hrs. I love the flow I had dew sweeping the back 9 being the first one to play it. Got to 18 before it was mowed :)

 

Not sure I got my money's worth for my 18 hole rain check only got 11 in and not a postable 18 hole score. Learned I will never ever head to Milham without a tee time. The 3 some leading off didn't want anyone joining them I could tell I didn't bother asking.

 

After a relaxing afternoon at GLCC by the lake beach sand playground. One day soon I may be a social CC member with hopefully a few free 18 hole passes to use here and there. Time will tell. I know I will not be joining KMGA Milham or Eastern any time soon.

 

 

Goetzke Shows Good Form, Lawler Is Simply Better

NGAWire® 28Jun07

 

Last night Kurt Goetzke played good golf.  His league night round of 36 (with a mere 11 putts) was a thing of mastery.  Goetzke finally seemed bound to win his $10 standing league bet against old rival Steve Lawler.

 

Wrong!  Goetzke was manhandled by Lawler and lost 4&3.

 

Lawler bombardment Greystone GC’s difficult back nine in 31.  His Tigeresque round included birdies on 10, 11, 12, 14 and 15; all others scores were pars.

 

Is Goetzke able to compete on the same playing field with the likes of Lawler without handicap strokes?  The answer is no.  Should Goetzke be proud of his round and use it as a stepping stone to resurrect his crappy golf game in hopes being somewhat competitive in time for the 2007 TPC?  Sure he should.

 

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Rocky Road For Clifton At K’zoo Amateur

NGAWire® 25Jun07

 

This past weekend longtime NGA member Ron Clifton competed in the 2007 Kalamazoo County Amateur.

 

He opened the tournament at Eastern Hills GC.

 

"As for today I went to the Milham Park Arts & Craft fair with the kids from 10-11, then Ginger took them for the day.  I got to Eastern Hills and heard about the 15 minute delay, ran home quick to check on Pluto, then back for my routine, hit balls, chips, putts, then waited for the actual 40 minute delay.  I exchanged cards with what I thought was the competition in my group.  He shot 41 on the front to my 42.  The 3rd best player in our group ended with 3 or 4 pars in a row, I didn't see him coming.  The guy I had my eye on proceeds to make a 12 on 10 (par 5), then a triple on 11 (par 3), he is done.  The #3 guy keeps making pars, he and I tied actual but he is a 15 so he is 2 back, also in the last group of 2nd flight.  He shot 84 and 86 last week, so we are close in score but not in handicap."

 

Clifton ends up firing a very nice 84.  This was an excellent start for him.

 

"Today I had a birdie putt on 1, 2, nearly chipped in for birdie on 4, birdie putt again on 6, and 9, and 10, another on 12, and 14, on 15 I had 100 in out of rough down in a hollow up again wispy grass, I went under a wedge as I heard the sound of a driver on adjacent tee, I re-grouped chipped it up and made a 5 footer with a foot of break for bogey (key save), birdie chances again on 17 and 18.  Notice I didn't make any birdies, mostly walked away with par, one or two 3-putt bogies, only 1 double."

 

His score placed him atop the 2nd flight leader board after day one.

 

“I don't know how the guys on tour can sleep on the lead, a major must be gut wrenching.  I made it to the barbeque, had 4 beers, some brats and rice, beans and fajitas.  I am feeling good.  I tee off at 8:54 in the am last group of 2nd flight.”

 

The next morning Clifton heads to Milham Park GC for the 2nd round.  His playing partners are Craig Tenant, Christopher Moffat and Royce Wiggington.

 

“I shot 95 today, net 78.  I predicted that would take me from 1st to 8th walking off 18 green, I finished 7th alone.  I had to shoot another 84 to beat Royce.  I played with the winner, 3rd, and 4th.  One could say I got steam rolled.”

 

Unfortunately he was not able to follow up yesterday’s performance.

 

“Trying to keep the good carma going from Saturday to Sunday, I wore the same baby blue BMW visor both days, with the 2006 TPC hat bill ball marker.  I used my Arcadia Bluffs divot repair tool, and the 2001 red hat pin converted to ball marker in my pocket as a good luck piece.  I wore the same shoes, a red Nike shirt hoping to channel Tiger.  Unfortunately none of this worked!  As time goes on it isn't setting too well.  I may have choked!  A repeat performance of the FOA league finals and 1999 TPC.  Hopefully this experience will help me in the future.”

 

Though he was disappointed in his performance, Clifton surely gained valuable tournament experience.

 

“It was an enjoyable and affordable tournament.  I gave it my all, slept poorly, up early, to course early, hit bunker shots, wedge shots, hit small bucket, chipped and putted.  I can tell my grand kids I was the overnight leader of the K’zoo Am and I teed off as the leader.  I considered wearing my Poulter pants, they might have helped me.  These past few weeks my range work had been trying to get the club more behind me.  Saturday as I warmed up for the round I was shanking shots, so I chucked that routine and went back to my natural feel for the game of golf.  That produced the 84 Saturday which was good.  Sunday I think it was the 6 inches between my ears and the 18 hours with the lead.”

 

We all wish Clifton better luck next time.

 

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Not Again!  Goetzke Makes Stupid US Open Bet

NGAWire® 14Jun07

 

The US Open brings out the stupid in a lot of people.  Phil Mickelson, Colin Montgomrie, Jim Furyk… and now Kurt Goetzke.

 

Goetzke made a $10 best finish bet with Karl Nagy.  Goetzke took Ernie Els, Nagy picked Tiger Woods.

 

It is unknown if there will be carnage in Oakmont, PA this weekend, but a massacre in Madison Heights, MI is highly anticipated.

 

 

Finally… Kurncz Makes Things Right

LGAWire® 11Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)

 

The LGA would like to welcome back to the Masters2007 family, Mr. Andy Kurncz. "At exactly 4:15pm on Saturday, June 9th, the Masters2007 committee did receive a letter from Kurncz."

 

After the committee put the letter through a rigorous anthrax screening process, the contents of the letter were revealed.

 

"We are very pleased to announce that the check was signed and represented the correct amount, that being $20. In fact, as a token of good faith, a Starbucks gift card was also included in the letter."

 

The LGA now officially calls for the other governing bodies to consider letting Kurncz in - at least on a conditional basis.

 

"We can finally focus our efforts on 2008." lamented an emotionally scarred committee member. "What Kurncz did was egregious and attacked the true soul of competition. But like all things, time will blunt the knife that Kurncz wielded on this committee and on the game itself."

 

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Move Over Ralph

NGAWire® 8Jun07

 

The NGA Board of Governors is discussing the prospect of renaming the Ralph Guldahl Memorial trophy in honor of three-time TPC champion Coree Raden.

 

“The question is not will we rename it, but when.” stated an unnamed NGA board member.  “Raden has dominated the TPC.  He is always 50/50 bet to win, as long as he is able to finish the tournament.”

 

Raden has participated in 10 TPC’s, winning three of them (2001, 2002, 2006).  His finishing position in non-victories is 4, 3, 7, 6 and 6.  He has DQ’ed twice; 1997 (Clifton family funeral) and 1999 (huddling with Eric).

 

When the name change will take place is still in question, but soon enough the NGA’s most important trophy will honor two greats of the game!

 

 

USPS Postage Increase Sucker Punches KGAM

NGAWire® 1Jun07

 

Unbenounced to KGAM president Andy Kurncz, the USPS increased the cost of a First Class letter from $0.39 to $0.41 beginning May 14, 2007.

 

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LGA Hates Kurncz, Others To Follow Lead

LGAWire® 1Jun07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)

 

The LGA has officially called on the other governing bodies, namely the NGA and the WMGA to ban Kurncz from all future events.

 

The audacity of Kurncz to never pay up for his entry into the MASTERS 2007! pool is great cause for alarm. It is an indicator that something more tragic - and more harming - may come in future events. Therefore we are calling out to other governing bodies to ban Kurncz from all future events.

 

This call out for action is very similar to the "88" rule that the LPGA has in place at their events. Kurncz may claim that a "wrist" injury has caused him not to write a check, but we all know that the LGA accepts cash as well.

 

First the NGA, then the WMGA - next we’ll position the big boys - GAM, USGA, etc... We may even warm the MGM Grand in Detroit about his ways.

 

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O’Connor Takes It Low

NGAWire® 23May07

NGA Contributing Reporter, Kurt Goetzke

 

After suffering through a grueling round of golf at the difficult Greystone Golf Course on Saturday, May 19, first-year Team Greystone member, Tim O’Connor came out firing at the equally difficult Rattle Run Golf Course the following Tuesday.

 

After stringing together 5 straight birdies, Tim proudly carded a sizzling 67, an utterly amazing 27 strokes better than his round the previous Saturday.  In a round that included two 3 putts, OIHM (O’Connor In His Mind) O’Connor stated, “it could have been lower!!!”  He followed that comment with a resounding, “I AM BACK!!!”

 

This is great to hear, because many have been asking, “Where have you been, Tim?”

 

O’Connor, averaging a lackluster 86.4 (nearly 90 at Greystone), is still trying to find his way in the difficult world of Publinx Golf.  He came to the team with excellent credentials, including a silky smooth putting stroke and a 500 lbs bench press.  We all hope that this stellar round at Rattle Run was not a fluke.  This reporter has to believe that it is not, considering Tim fired a similar round at Greystone earlier in the year (before the season started).

 

The NGA is intrigued by this fact and will continue to monitor his progress.  At this point, there is no reason to question his round, and, in fact, Tim confidently has stated, “I paid off, I mean, I have witnesses.”  Hopefully these rounds will translate to some competitive rounds in the near future.

 

Maybe Tim is just another member of the “garbage time” club of golfers on Team Greystone, or maybe he is not.  Only time will tell.

 

 

Kurncz Solicits Lemmon Address, Payment Pending

NGAWire® 21May07

 

Yesterday morning Andy Kurncz asked the NGA for Chris Lemmon’s home address.

 

Does this mean that his payment for the 2007 Masters Pool is finally on the way?

 

Hopefully the United States Postal Service doesn’t mess this up… again.

 

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Mickelson Wins Players, Only Kurncz Cares

NGAWire® 13May07

 

Phil Mickelson (-11) wins The Players Championship in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL by two shots over Sergio Garcia.

 

Tiger Woods finishes well back at (E).

 

No one cares… except maybe Andy Kurncz.  Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $10

 

 

LPGA Michelob Ultra Championship

LGAWire® 12May07 (dateline – Williamsburg, VA)

 

Observations from the LGA on attending the LPGA Michelob Ultra Championship event in Williamsburg.

 

Woman play slow.  Five, yes five groups were on the par 5 6th tee waiting to tee off.  I did take the opportunity to watch the following on the tee: Lorena Ochoa was like a school girl talking with the other players.  Paula Creamer was by herself talking with her caddie (loser).  Cristie Kerr does have manly features, despite her weight loss.  Natalie Gulbis was hit on by about five Michelob-filled guys in a manner of 2 minutes, biggest crowd of the day by far.

 

Also, don't get all pumped up about how far the ladies hit it - the fairways were rock hard - at least 30 yards of roll after they hit it 220 in the air.

 

All in all, a fun day at the links - I just wish Grace Park was here - get well soon!

 

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Nagy/Woods 3, Kurncz/Mick 0

NGAWire® 7May07

 

Tiger Woods (and Karl Nagy) shot a final-round 3-under 69 to claim his 57th career PGA Tour title (third this season) defeating a star-studded field at the Wachovia Championship in Charlotte by two strokes.

 

Phil Michelson (and Andy Kurncz) finished T-3, four shots back.

 

Season totals – Nagy/Woods $15, Kurncz/Michelson $0

 

 

Look Who’s Back

NGAWire® 4May07

 

Just days after declaring no more love for the game of golf, Kurt Goetzke is back – and better than ever!

 

In his golf league play last evening, Goetzke found his form and blister the Greystone GC back nine in 41 shots.

 

Way to go Kurt!

 

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Kurncz Delinquent Pisses Off LGA

LGAWire® 4May07 (dateline – Richmond, VA)

 

The Masters 2007 golf committee has officially put Kurncz on probation for late payment of entry fees.

 

"It's a shame that the committee has to go public with this probation - given the committee's long-standing tradition of keeping finances under the sheet.  One bad apple can ruin the bushel as they say in Augusta," says a veteran committee member.

 

There is still time for Kurncz to have the conditional status for the 2008 Masters to be lifted.  He must deliver the entry fee by the end of May.

 

"This kind of tarnishes everything - the green jacket, the money, everything.  To think that a boy from Iowa can win the Masters, and truly capable individual like Kurncz can't find a mailbox - well, it makes you wonder - you know," moped winner Zach Johnson.

 

So the clock is ticking… will the invite be extended next year?  Only one person has the power to change everything - and make everything right once again.

 

 

Goetzke’s 1st Start Nets Greystone 1st Loss Of Season

NGAWire® 30Apr07

 

The facts are in. Yesterday in MPGA Team Play, Greystone II traveled to Romeo for a match versus lowly Romeo I. Yesterday Kurt Goetzke made his first start of the season. Yesterday Greystone II was defeated for their first loss of 2007.

 

What the heck happened? Can Goetzke’s season of hope really be over before May arrives? Was his fitness regimen and new attitude effort all for not? Can Goetzke be considered anything but a run of the mill shitty golf?

 

Upon finishing his round (not that it is important, but he blew 88), Goetzke stormed into the clubhouse, tossed his $20 match fee at his captain and bolted from the grounds. Late last evening, Team Captain Steve Lawler received the following text message from Goetzke: “Sorry-had NO more cheer left-2day TRULY made me ask myself if I should consider givin up the game I have loved 4 many years-1 of the most disappointin days EVER”.

 

It looks like another NGA member has lost both his mind and game. Who will be next?

 

 

McKay In Double Blow Out Trouble

NGAWire® 28Mar07

 

This past Sunday (25Mar07), Team Greystone’s captain and boss Steve Lawler scheduled an on course “interview” for three of the extra players at Shepherd’s Hollow GC (Clarkston, MI).

 

The players auditioning for Lawler where Kurt Goetzke, Danny McKay and Officer Tim. Fortunately for Team Greystone, three of the four players bettered a score of 80. Captain Lawler lead the way with 75, newcomer “Top Cop” Tim ticketed a 77 and Goetzke rolled in with a 79. All very respectable early season scores!

 

The one player to not crack 80 (or even 90) was McKay; he whimpered around the course in a 91. He hit his ball “all over God’s green earth” stated a nameless playing partner. Not only did his round displease Capt Lawler and all but cement his spot as “el número diez”, but it cost him a wallet full of cash.

 

Although it is unknown exactly how much money burned its way out of McKay’s pockets, it is estimated at around $50. A double blow out loss to The Law cost $20, losses to both Fuzzy and Goat cost $10 each and a team bet loss $10 more. Hopefully McKay did not take part in a skins or pins game!

 

NGAWire Note – The NGA is not accountable for any inaccuracies in the above recap.

 

 

Nagy/Woods Plus $10 For 2007

NGAWire® 26Mar07

 

Yesterday Tiger Woods netted victory in the CA Championship at Doral, a World Golf Championship event. His final total of 278 (-10) bettered that of Phil Mickelson by 10 shots. This win increases the lead of Team Nagy/Woods to $10 over Team Kurncz/Mickelson.

 

Maybe Team Kurncz/Mickelson can turn it around at Augusta in two weeks?

 

http://www.nagyhillsgolfassociation.com/ngawire_images/10_dollar_bill.jpg

 

 

Homeless In Detroit Hungry No More

NGAWire® 22Mar07

 

The plight of the homeless men, women and children in Detroit has been a long time problem with no immediate end in sight.

 

One man has decided to take the issue head on. His name is Andy Kurncz. Kurncz, a resident of Fenton and president of the KGAM, has decided to make this March “Give Girl Scout Cookies to Homeless” month.

 

“I have always had a place in my heart for the down-and-out and less fortunate. Every time I head to the MGM Grand or Greektown casino, my heart pains for all the destitute I drive past.”

 

Kurncz has been handing out boxes of Girl Scout cookies to wandering Detroiters for the past two weeks. He is planning to distribute $150 worth of these scrumptious treats throughout the Motor City.

 

“Nothing beats the look on the face of someone when I hand them the cookies. They seem somewhat puzzled at first, but once they notice it is a box of Thin Mints, pure joy overcomes them.”

 

Many have said they the world today is a heartless and cruel place to live. Not true if you live on the streets in Detroit.

 

NOTE – The homeless are not the only one’s benefiting form this good will. The KGAM is able to unload the additional quantities of Girl Scout cookies it has on hand (due to a botched ordering plan) and take a charitable contribution tax break in 2007. Looks like a win-win for everyone!

 

 

2007 TPC Set For Great Lakes Region

NGAWire® 19Mar07

 

Today the KGAM announced that it has narrowed down the location for the 2007 TPC.

 

Andy Kurncz, president of the KGAM, announced that the 2007 event will be played somewhere within a 150 mile distance from any of the Great Lakes.

 

As an elementary school refresher, the lakes include Lake Superior (the largest by volume and deepest, larger than Scotland or South Carolina), Lake Michigan (the second-largest by volume and third-largest by area; the only one entirely in the U.S.), Lake Huron (the third-largest by volume; the second largest in area), Lake Erie (the smallest by volume and most shallow of all the great lakes) and Lake Ontario (the second-smallest in volume and smallest in area, much lower elevation than the rest).

 

When asked if he thought that Lake St. Clair should be included as a Great Lake, Kurncz stated “Its approximate size of 430 square miles is relatively small in comparison to the other five Great Lakes. In no way whatsoever do I consider it great.”

 

Insiders at the KGAM have leaked word that “humdinger” and “treat” have been heard describing the plans about the 2007 TPC. Only time will tell.

 

 

Lawler Produces Another Winner

NGAWire® 14Mar07

 

Yesterday afternoon long time NGA member Steve Lawler and his wonderful wife Holly gave birth to their 3rd child. Logan Fields Lawler popped out of Holly’s belly at 4:10pm, weighing in at 8 lbs, 8 oz (3.85 kg) and 21.5 inches (54.61 cm) long.

 

Sister Mazie and brother Ashton are happy with the new Lawler. Kurt Goetzke and Dan McKay are not; Logan will surely give them both a run for the final spot on Team Greystone.

 

Mother Holly is said to be doing well, less the horrifically excruciating pain she is feeling in her reproductive region.

 

Congratulations Holly and Steve!

 

 

Lemmon Victorious In 2007 CJI

NGAWire® 1Mar07

 

This past weekend Chris Lemmon cruised to victory in the 2007 Claret Jug Invitational. Lemmon score of 287 beat 2nd place contestant Karl Nagy by a whopping 39 points.

 

Lemmon, who posted rounds of 83, 82, 80 and 89, struggled with his tee ball the entire tournament. His putter was also bulky at times with 9 three-putts, but his 10 birdies offset those mistakes. Lemmon, an ex-Big Ten standout, was able to grind out holes and avoid mental mistakes; something his competition was not able.

 

Nagy was saddled with feeble tee ball and an unwieldy putter the entire CJI. His opening rounds of 89, 85 and 92 placed him in third place, one shot back of second. However, not one to throw in the towel, his final round gut check of 95 secured him the runner-up spot. Nagy’s best day putting came courtesy of his trusty SW.

 

The third contestant was Ron Clifton. He posted rounds of 94, 97 and 111 before opting for fun golf from the white tees the final round, therefore DQ’ing himself from the CJI. Clifton’s game lacked practice and stability. His performance on the greens was commendable, but he was in no form for competitive golf.

 

All players enjoyed much beer and a good time.

 

NOTE – The NGA has confirmed that its first venture into publication will occur this fall with the release “30 Days to a Putter Free Bag”. Look for it in bookstores and news stands beginning in September.

 

http://www.nagyhillsgolfassociation.com/ngawire_images/lemmon_wins_cji.jpg

 

 

Goetzke, McKay Hopeful Team Greystone Team Play Members

NGAWire® 22Feb07

 

In a surprise move earlier this week, it was announced that long time NGA members Kurt Goetzke and Dan McKay have been selected to once again vie for the final spots on the 2007 Team Greystone MPGA team.

 

Goetzke and McKay were members of the 2006 team, however due to lack of skill did not contribute diddly last season. It was assumed that McKay was going to quit the team and concentrate less on golf and Goetzke was just going to be released.

 

As per an unnamed member of the Team Greystone hierarchy, both players have been asked to once again join the team to fill in positions 9 and 10.

 

“Kurt and Dan are good guys and deserve this opportunity” the source was quoted. “Playing good golf is not everything. We felt sorry for them.”

 

It turns out that Greystone’s off-season search for new players was unsuccessful. Candidates Andy Kurncz, Todd “Piper” Statetzny and Bozo the Clown all declined the offer.

 

 

Former ROY In Big Trouble

NGAWire® 18Feb07

 

Former 2005 TPC Rookie of the Year Jeff Pretzer was witnessed shanking* ball after ball at the golf range on Friday (2/16/07).

 

Determined to work out his problem, Pretzer (the 2006 TPC runner-up) continued to hit balls, hoseling nearly 95% of the large bucket.

 

The balls that he did not shank were worm-burned out into the range. Not one shot was hit with anything that could be considered proper ball flight.

 

After all balls were hit, a dejected Pretzer went to the putting green to practice putt… where he proceeded to shank his first one.

 

* In a shank, it is the hosel of the club that first contacts the ball. Since the hosel is rounded, the ball might shoot off in just about any direction with various spins. But most commonly, a shank results in a ball that shoots out to the right (for a right-hander) at a severe angle. Someone who shanks a lot might be said to "have the shanks" or to be "shanking it." A shank is one of the worst mis-hits in golf; in fact, many golfers don't even like saying the word out loud.

 

 

2007 CJI Field Set, Handicaps And Targets Released

NGAWire® 15Feb07

 

The NGA has finalized the field for the 2007 Claret Jug Invitational scheduled for Myrtle Beach, SC on February 23-25, 2007. The field includes defending CJI champion Karl Nagy (Simpsonville, SC) and runner–up Ronald Clifton (Richland, MI), along with CJI rookie Chris Lemmon (Richmond, VA).

 

The handicaps and target number for the players have been determined and are as follows:

 

Karl Nagy, handicap 7, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34

Ron Clifton, handicap 17, GIR 5, FW 6, putts 36

Chris Lemmon, handicap 5, GIR 8, FW 8, putts 34

 

Players earn additional deductions to their score by bettering their target numbers for greens hit, fairways hit and total putts per round. Further bonuses are given for birdies, eagles and sand saves.

 

This year’s CJI will be a 72 hole event. The scheduled courses include Myrtle Beach National (Southcreek), Legends (Heathland and Parkland) and Prestwick.

 

In the inaugural 2006 CJI last summer, Nagy dispatched an overwhelmed Clifton in short order 217 (69-74-74) to 241 (81-92-68). Nagy, the favorite again, hopes to make nippy work of both Lemmon and Clifton.

 

“If there is one thing I am good at it is CJI!” stated Nagy. “This type of tournament sets up perfectly for my strengths of greens and fairways, and making a bushel of putts.”

 

 

NGA Announces Zero Inductees To TPC Hall Of Fame

NGAWire® 2Feb07

 

The Nagyhills Golf Association® made the announcement last evening during its winter meetings in Key West, FL that no players have been elected to the TPC Hall of Fame for 2007.

 

The leading candidate for induction, 2006 TPC winner Cormick Raden, fell 5 points short of the required 40.

 

Raden, a three time TPC champion, was utterly surprised by this announcement.

 

“What in the world do I have to do to make this stupid Hall of Fame?” barked Raden. “First I win in 2001, and then again in 2002. I win my third in 2006 and they still don’t induct me. They can all go straight to hell!”

 

Raden’s 35 points was followed by Steve Lawler (24), Ron Clifton (22), Karl Nagy (21), Louis Song (21) and Andy Kurncz (16).

 

All but Kurncz are past TPC champions.

 

NOTE – Kurncz’s point total bested three current NGA members and past TPC champions Kurt Goetzke (13), Jeff Longeway (13) and Matt Maser (11).

 

 

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