
Tuesday with
NGAWire®
7Oct08
NGA Staff
Writer, Ronald Harrison
I awoke
today after a long night of MNF up ‘til midnight. I feel fortunate to have weathered the Reggie
Bush onslaught by Lawler. Thanks to FF Churncz for not counting punt return yards. And a bigger thanks to Reggie Bush for
tripping on his own foot for his potential 3rd punt return td it saved my
victory.
As I am
driving to the golf course I am still considering trading Dallas Clark to PJP
for MJD, as well as possibly Plax Burress for S.
Slaton.
This chilly
October morning I arrived at Eastern Hills at
I learned
I played
solid all the way around the front 4 fw, 3 gr, 14 putts nice little 40. Some nice par saving putts, a few key birdie
putts just missed. I am putting as good
as say Matt Maser or Dan McKay.
We make the
turn and Andreas decides to push on with me any pays for his 2nd 9. He is an
I proceed to
play the back 9 much like the front keeping it in play 5 fw,
5 gr, 16 putts.
Again a few key par putts made, a few birdie putts just missed. I step up to 17 realizing I am +2 on the
back! So 40 on front + 4 and +2 is +6
with 2 holes left. Predictably I make
double on 17 not really a bad double just drive in rough approach short, pitch
short, chip long (tried to hole it) 2
putt. Nearly made a nice bogey saving
putt. I am grinding like crazy!
18 is
playing downwind I pipe a long high majestic fade to the 270 mark (par 5) smoke
a high cutting 3 wood to 40 yds just short. I haven't played this shot well today all I
am thinking is I am putting well get it on the green. I hit a pw a little
heavy leave 30+ feet up hill birdie putt for the elusive 79. I read it, step up, it is up hill just misses
one ball outside left, good effort, tap in par for 80.
Having never
broken 80 I was much more calm and relaxed took it one shot at a time. I just
needed one more putt to fall somewhere played good enough for 79. After the
poor play I exhibited at
Obama Declared A Bobo
NGAWire®
26Sep08
The NGA has
declared Barack Obama a
huge bobo.
Also included in the bobo race are Joe Biden and John McCain.
God save the

Nagy Wins 2008
NGAWire®
22Sep08
Karl Nagy
cruised to his second
“I played
very well the first two rounds” stated Nagy.
“However, the final outcome was as much of a surprise to me as everyone
else.”
This victory
moves Nagy into a tie with Coree Raden atop the
|
player |
2006 |
2007 |
2008 |
|
Coree
Raden |
35 |
35 |
35 |
|
Karl Nagy |
21 |
25 |
35 |
|
Steve
Lawler |
24 |
26 |
28 |
|
Kurt
Goetzke |
13 |
23 |
26 |
|
Ron
Clifton |
22 |
25 |
25 |
|
Louis Song |
21 |
21 |
21 |
|
Andy
Kurncz |
16 |
16 |
17 |
|
Jeff
Longeway |
13 |
13 |
13 |
|
Matt Maser |
11 |
11 |
11 |
|
Dean Kobane |
10 |
10 |
10 |
|
Doug Granowicz |
10 |
10 |
10 |
|
|
9 |
9 |
9 |
|
Todd Statetzny |
9 |
9 |
9 |
|
|
8 |
8 |
8 |
|
Jeff Pretzer |
4 |
4 |
8 |
|
Dan York |
5 |
5 |
5 |
|
Dan McKay |
3 |
4 |
4 |
|
Jim Elgin |
4 |
4 |
4 |
|
Derek
Andre |
3 |
3 |
3 |
|
Mark
D'Antonio |
3 |
3 |
3 |
|
Chip VanLooy |
2 |
2 |
2 |
|
Chris
Lemmon |
1 |
1 |
1 |
40 points required for Hall of Fame induction.

NGAWire
11Sep08
The NGA has
announced that Karl Nagy has been named favorite to win the 2008
2008
NGAWire®
26Aug08
The rota of courses for the 2008
Thursday Rd1
Friday Rd2
Friday
Saturday Rd3
Sunday Rd4
Tee boxes
for each round are under review by the KGAM.
** The fun
round Friday afternoon will be a two A-B player event. The format will be 3-3-3-3-3-3 where the game
played changes every three hole.
Possible games include scramble, best ball, total score, worst ball
scramble, alternate shot, modified alternate shot, three-club challenge,
two-club challenge, one-club challenge, etc…
This fun round will precede Friday evenings “Taking It To Blackout”
activities.
The
finalized fun round games are under review by the KGAM.
Teams for
the fun round will be paired via blind draw.
The A and B players groups are:
A – The Law,
Goat, Jimmy Boy, The Greatest
B – Great
McKay, The Cruiser, Heidi Klumberg, Y2K, Lennie, PJP Junior
It was a
very tough decision for the NGA and KGAM to determine the bottom crap of the A
player group. PJP, NGA and Great McKay
are all considered awful A players, but Great’s lack
of resent play pushed him into B player status.
Day In His Life
NGAWire®
21Aug08
This morning
Andy tended to his ailing wife, showing his enormous tenderness and
compassion. He is scheduled to make
sales calls in the NE suburbs of
2008
NGAWire®
12Aug08
After review
of the blind drawing results for the 1st round of the 2008
In lieu of
the outcome of the BLIND DRAW, I have petitioned the NGA to CHANGE my 2007
CHAMPION 2nd
GROUP 1 –
Kurt Goetzke, Coree Raden, Andy Kurncz, Steve Lawler
GROUP 2 – Jim Hartigan,
GROUP 3 –
Ron Clifton,
iPhone Is My Phone
NGAWire®
8Aug08
Yesterday I
picked up my new 3G iPhone from the local AT&T
store. Farewell my Treo
700p, farewell.
Day In His Life
NGAWire®
7Aug08
Today Andy
Kurncz went to work. He enjoyed lunch
and had a very busy day. He is planning
to attend his golf league this evening and is looking forward to seeing his
wife and children when he arrives home.
2008
NGAWire®
7Aug08
2007
GROUP 1 –
KURT GOETZKE, STEVE LAWLER, BRUCE KRUCKEBERG, JEFF LONGEWAY
GROUP 2 –
KARL NAGY, COREE RADEN, DAN MCKAY, PLAYER #12
GROUP 3 –
JEFF PRETZER, JIM HARTIGAN, BRENT PRETZER, RON
How did
Goetzke come up with his pairings you ask?
Let him break
it down for you.
1) If given
the chance, I will always set up a pairing with JEFF and BRUCE. JEFF and I go way back and I like to play
with him whenever I can…I don’t see BRUCE more than a couple three times a
year, unfortunately, and again, if given the chance, I will always try to play
with him at least once at
2) In group
2, I decided that PLAYER #12 needed cigar love with his buddy NAGY and I know
PLAYER #12 enjoys playing with DAN.
COREE was a perfect fit for this grouping because it needed a little
sexing up (come on, look at the other three in the group) and I could not put
him with RON, because RON would have trouble controlling himself around COREE.
3) I put the
PRETZER bros together, because, well, they are brothers and I put HARTIGAN with
them, because JIMMY MY
NGA NOTE –
The deadline for PLAYER #12 entry into the 2008
I’m Sorry Apple… I Was Wrong
NGAWire®
24Jul08
Yesterday
the NGA placed a pre-order for the 3G iPhone. The AT&T clerk stated I should receive
the phone in 10 – 20 days, but noted in actuality they have been coming in much
sooner.
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock
NGAWire®
23Jul08
The 2008
1.
2. Coree
Raden
3. Karl Nagy
4. Ron Clifton
5. Kurt Goetzke
6. Jeff Longeway
7.
Based on NGA
insider information, the field for the 2008
8. Steve
Lawler - $$$ pending, 92% in
9. Jeff Pretzer - $$$ pending, 77% in
10. Brent Pretzer - $$$ pending, 77% in
11. Andy
Kurncz - $$$ pending, 53% in
Other former
Tim O'Connor
- Hates golf, hates anything about golf.
He now fishes every weekend.
Mark Chapman
- Lacking will power to golf, not good anyhow.
Jim Hartigan
- Family matters may be too much to overcome.
Matt Maser -
Mark D'Antiono - No longer receives googlegroup
messages due to frenzied wife, didn't receive
Jesse Nagy -
Chose to visit SC in August versus visiting MI in September.
The formal
deadline for entries is set as
Screw You Apple
NGAWire®
18Jul08
Last Monday
(
On Wednesday
(
Today I
called the Apple store in
What the
hell Apple? You come out with a new iPhone and don’t have enough inventories for everyone
wanting one? You market the hell out of
your product and then leave the people hanging?
Ridiculous!!
Maybe I will
rethink my move from Verizon to AT&T.

Best Ever
NGAWire® 17Jun08
Yesterday
Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open in a playoff over Rocco Mediate.
Tiger
Woods is the greatest, Tiger Woods is the best.
I love Tiger Woods.

Baby Great McKay Has Arrived
NGAWire®
8Jun08
The NGA
family grew by one this past Thursday (6/5/08) with the arrival of Dylan James
McKay. Dylan arrived at
Dylan
arrived a few months earlier than scheduled, but is doing fine. Mom Kim and Dad Dan are excited about his
arrival, as are pseudo siblings Bogey, Bailey and Blue.
Congrats
McKay family!
Hip Hip
Hooray! 3G iPhone On The Way!
NGAWire®
20May08
Apple's
next-generation iPhone is likely to arrive on
The 3G iPhone will be apparently available immediately after the
keynote in the US, with an international roll-out within weeks, according to
'someone very, very close to the 3G iPhone launch.'
NGA’s Karl
Nagy states “Yes sir! I have been
waiting for this day my entire life. I
can’t believe it is finally here!”

Brainiac Wins Powerball
NGAWire® 20May08
Saturday’s Powerball jackpot
winner is Jonathan Vargas, a 19-year-old construction worker from
Vargas matched all six numbers to win the $35 million
jackpot. He decided to take the lump-sum of $17.5 million.
The first thing he'll do now that he's a jackpot
winner? "I don't know, probably
play some video games," Vargas said in a Monday news conference.
He's a construction worker, and says this was the first time
he'd ever played Powerball.
"I was feeling lucky, plus I had to get for gas,"
he says.
Vargas says he plans to buy his mother, Patricia Richardson,
a home, and then he wants to invest. He says his aunt is an accountant, so
she's helping him out.
"A lot of people go retarded with that kind of
money," Vargas said, "But God has a plan for me. I have faith."
Good luck not going retarded Jonathan!
Pretzer In Tight Pistons
NGAWire®
30Apr08
NGA
Investigative Reporters
NGA
investigative reporters received the following disturbing image from last
night’s Pistons/Sixers playoff tilt. In this grainy photo released by unnamed
sources, NGA member and former
The NGA is
still awaiting comment from Pretzer. Only then can his man card privileges be
adequately reviewed.
Welcome Baby Nagy!
NGAWire®
27Apr08
We are happy
to announce the arrival of Owen Thomas Nagy to the NGA family. Owen was born on April 24 at
Mom Courtney
and baby Owen are doing great, brother Evan is happy to have a playmate and Dad
Karl is hunky-dory.
Owen is
expected to make his NGA debut at the 2023
NOTE –
Please see www.babynagy.com for more
information.
NGAWire®
13Apr08
The titanic
battle anticipated at yesterday's Glenhurst Scramble
between Team Lawler/McKay/Longeway and Team Goetzke/Pretzer/Kurncz
never materialized.
As happens
at times, the hype of the mêlée is outdone by the actual match itself. Do you recall the Chicago Bears trouncing of
the Washington Redskins 73-0 in 1940 NFL championship, the University of
Michigan beat down of
Team Lawler
finished in an impressive tie for 2nd place with a score of 61 (-9). The Lawler trio split around $1000. Team Goetzke finished way back with a dismal
round of 66 (-4). The day cost Team
Goetzke members around $200 each.
A Day In The Life Of The Chapman
Brothers
NGAWire®
7Apr08
Today Andy
and his brother Mark headed to Moose Ridge Golf Course for their
1. What
signals spring golf in
2. The Moose
Ridge warning sign clearly instructs Andy and Mark of their tee box
selection. Will they listen?
3. Andy
lights his cigar with his oversized Zippo lighter.
4. Andy
makes a sweet swing. Looks like another
fairway split right down the middle.
5. Oh
no! Looks like a pulled shot from the
left rough. This can only be trouble!
6. Two balls
close on the 9th green. One is Mark’s
tee shot, the other Andy’s provisional (Mark 3, Andy 4).
7. Mark
struts after sticking a shot on the 11th hole.
No need of cockiness this earlier in the year Mark.
8. Mark
looks solid on tee. Can you believe this
syrupy looking swing produced a dub?
Maybe he was still cocky?
9. A trip
back to the simpler days of golf. Mark
works on his reverse ‘C’ finish. Pure
sweetness!
10. Andy
offers a light to the stuffed clubhouse bear.
11. Mark
enjoys a laugh. Maybe they should have
heeded the warning?
Final scores
were Andy 86, Mark 103. Great season
opener boys!!
A Day In The Life Of Capo McKay
NGAWire®
7Apr08
HGA.5 Staff
Writer,
With the temp in the low
60’s, Sunday marked a nice springtime
1. Where are the keys, I’m
going GOLFING!
2. Bag ready and waiting.
3. Loading it all up.
4. Happy driving!
5. Scotty loves to see
putting greens. Can’t you see the smile!
6. Lawler giddy with golf
love!
7. Huge lead!
8. What great form!
9. This guy, or Bigfoot, walked
just like Kurt perhaps he was spying on team Lawler.
10. My lead evaporated on
the back. No worries. Team Lawler was pleased with all of their Sunday play.
11. Ahhh…
golf in the springtime. Happy happy joy joy!
Two Teams Prepare, One In Despair
NGAWire®
6Apr08
April 6 will
be forever marked as the first official golf weekend for the 2008 season, only
one week before the fabled Glenhurst Memorial. Golfers were out in droves and tee time
sheets were booked. A few die hard souls
from the NGA world paired up to kick off the ‘08 season.
Kurt “The
Goat” Goetzke (Team Goetzke/Pretzer/Kurncz Captain
and unofficial “A” player) and Jeff “Lenny” Longeway (Team
Lawler/McKay/Longeway “C” player) kicked off the morning round at Glenhurst GC.
Longeway fired a blistering 79, taming the beast of
While on the
other side of town, the remaining team members of Team LML, Steve “The Law”
Lawler and Dan “Capo” McKay teed it up for an afternoon round at the famed Plumbrook GC. The
rounds did not come as a shock to Capt Lawler, who fired a lackluster round of
75, and McKay, scoring an unfulfilled 78.
“If we would have played like this at Greystone
today we would have shot…oh yea we didn’t” said Lawler. “I had one goal today and that was just to
play a round of golf.” Both players were
rusty as expected and no putt was made over twelve feet on the bumpy greens.
After
posting three scores in the 70’s, Team LML is shaping up and ready for its
challenge next Saturday at the Memorial.
As for Team
NGA REMINDER
– Early this spring, Goetzke was booted from Team Greystone.
Nagy-Kurncz Strike Standing Bet for
2008
NGAWire®
31Mar08
In order to
try and spice up their sorry golf games, sorry assed NGA members Karl Nagy and
Andy Kurncz have agreed to a standing bet for the 2008 golf season.
This bet
begins April 1 and runs to the end of the year.
The bet structure will be re-evaluated once a player reaches the +$50
mark.
Payout Nagy Kurncz
+$10 <76 <80
+$5 76-79 80-83
$0 80-86 83-90
-$5 >86 >90
The NGA
wishes good luck to both players, but we are whole heartedly rooting for Nagy.

What Did I Do?
NGAWire®
26Mar08
"Seventy
years. What did I do? They're trying to lock me up forever. For text
messages?" Kilpatrick told the standing-room-only crowd at the Shrine of
the Black Madonna on
In some of
those more than 14,000 messages, Kilpatrick and Beatty - both married at the
time - exchanged sexual banter, declared their love and arranged trysts in
motels in Metro Detroit and on out-of-town business trips.
"I have
the opportunity right now to go prison, not jail, for text messages. There's
been no evidence. No facts presented. Get out of office and go to prison."
stated the Mayor.
We all hope
that Kwame’s good name will be cleared and the city
of

NGAWire®
20Mar08
In a
ludicrous finding, NGA members Kurt Goetzke and Jim Hartigan just recently
discovered they played on the same
Q1 – How many years did you play?
JH: 1, my senior year.
KG: Less than 1.
Q2 – Where you scholarship or
walk-on?
JH: Walk on.
KG: Walk on, no scholarships in
Division 3.
Q3 – Were you any good?
JH: No.
KG: Better than now.
Q4 – Did you play in any tournaments?
JH: As an alternate. My scores didn't count. I was the extra guy in case someone got
struck by lighting.
KG: No, I quit before the first
tournament because the coach didn’t play me even though I was better than most
on the team.
Q5 – What was your best score?
JH: I don't remember if I broke 90.
KG: No idea.
Q6 – What was your best memory?
JH: Playing Kalamazoo CC in the
pouring rain for 17 of the 18 holes. I
do remember shooting 99.
KG: Meeting Jim and not remembering
it.
Q7 – Who was the best player on your
team?
JH: Coons, I
think. Don't remember his first name.
KG: Shamus Fitzpatrick, in his mind,
that is.
Q8 – What team was the best in your
conference?
JH: Hope, I believe.
KG:
Q9 – Did you take Kurt (Jim take you)
under your (his) wing like a big brother?
JH: I don't remember Kurt.
KG: No, too busy smoking pot.
Q10 – What did you think of Kurt
(Jim) then?
JH: No recollection.
KG: Who?
Q11 – What do you think of Kurt (Jim)
now?
JH: Whadda
you mean? I love that man.
KG: A fine coffee maker.
Q12 – Was Kurt (Jim) a dick?
JH: There were no dicks on my golf
team. We were brothers, in a loose
sense.
KG: He thought his shit didn’t stink.
Q13 – What did you think of his
mullet (pot smoking)?
JH: I didn't notice it.
KG: We were all advocates of it in
those days.
Q14 – Why didn’t you remember Kurt
(Jim) was on your team?
JH: I only
played three times. He was never in my
group. I don't remember being on the bus
with him. He said he didn't play at
KG: Doing
too many drugs.
Q15 – Did being on the golf team help to